Rough Masturbation Induced Sexual Dysfunction

Hi,

I'm a 32 Y/O MALE with a history (12 YEARS NOW!) of ED.

I also have some fluctuations in my Testosterone Levels, Subclinical Hyperthyroidism, and take Psychotropic Medication (antidepressants and such).

The hormonal issues are being treated. As for the Psychotropic medication I unfortunately can't stop (my condition is neurological).

This lack of libido and ED has caused me MANY MANY relationships, lowered my self esteem, lowered my libido to zilch, affected my mental health, and lowered my testosterone levels.

I recently put together a "Hormone Spreadsheet" which listed ALL of my Hormone LAB TESTS dating back to 2002!

It took a few hours!

What i found was that My Total Test is usually on the Low normal side, on a few occasions its been low. But my Free Test is usually high. Anyway, I know this is "that" kind of forum....but it was interesting to see that overall my hormones have been pretty good (even though I "respond" from a libido standpoint - REALLY WELL - on Androgel and such).

Anyway, once i saw that I did some SOUL SEARCHING....

I thought of the instances where I was aroused, but not aroused enough to climax.
The minute I put a condom on and their was lubrication involved and i didn't feel ANY PLEASURE. I'd go "limp" - this is common sense.
NO PLEASURE = LIMP....

I'VE BEEN MASTURBATING ON MY BACK WITH NO LUBE (DRY HAND) FOR 10 YEARS NOW.

So I began recalling experiences with certain ladies I've (attempted) to have intercourse with, and I can (right now) think of 6 where I was aroused enough to put on a condom and have intercourse, but I went limp because it didn't feel right (obviously because I've been using my hand for 10 years!) I can SERIOUSLY RECALL stopping (once they were tired of me trying and/or me going limp) and turning on my back and within minutes being able to do it myself!

Each time - I have to literally arch my back, curl my feet downwards, and masturbate rough (dry) - I know the exact spot to hit!

So that got me thinking....this ISN'T ���� INDUCED...I've been masturbating the WRONG WAY FOR A DECADE! And maybe that's the problem.

I recently had 2 encounters at a "Gentlemans club" where I was getting a "lap dance" and the "entertainer" began giving me oral sex. She was also jerking me off. I felt some pleasure from it, but couldn't get aroused enough or an erection strong enough to climax. So I started doing it. I had to stretch my legs, curl my feet, and almost lay on my back (lol) and then i was able to climax!

So perhaps (in addition with the hormonal issues which again are being treated) - THIS IS THE PROBLEM!

I mean, if I'm used to that kind of friction - nothing else is going to come close!

I purchased a "Fleshlight" (number 1 selling sex toy that simulates a vagina and lube about 6 months ago) but its such a b--- to use!

When i have used it its so so easy to climax on my back but in any other position - standing up I've only climaxed once (and i was literally extending my calf's leaning against the wall - by the time i was done my muscles were spasiming!) but i can't imagine getting hard or climaxing in a doggystyle position or any other position for that matter (haven't been able to use the fleshlight in a missionary position either).

So I've TRAINED MY BODY to PHYSICALLY EXPECT this kind of friction in THIS VERY POSITION for years now.

Now I'm not saying they aren't other issues here - Psychological, the medication causing some delayed ejaculation and a lower libido, and my hormonal issues. BUT THE FACT THAT I'VE HAD THESE EXPERIENCES (2 OF THEM BEING RECENT) and this seems to be a trend that is continuing makes me think that ALL THINGS ASIDE THIS MAY BE THE BIGGEST PROBLEM.

Now if i get aroused enough, I'll climax with lube (during intercourse) - but its very very rare....i can only recall a few times and its been years.

Since this isn't ���� INDUCED but rather Masturbation induced....How can i change this? Should i stop masturbating completely (I haven't masturbated in months now...but I feel like i should but start doing it the "right" way)

Most of what I've read is that this kind of problem (masturbation issues) are ���� induced so the going advice is to abstain from ���� or masturbation. In my case - i think it would be good to masturbate (the RIGHT WAY) because it would help my libido be stronger, help me want to have sex more, help with my hormonal issues (testosterone), help me look forward to sex, etc.....

I'm actually not masturbating because now i know i have this problem and i don't want to get the lube and try different positions etc. because i know it probably won't work and i don't know what to do when it doesn't (I'm thinking i should stop and try again the next time i feel like masturbating and eventually it'll work?)

Please guys. Help me out. What advice do you have?

12 years now....and a few of those experiences (when i recalled 6 above) were in 2003 when all this began....so its definitely the major problem. As i said the other stuff (Thyroid, Testosterone issues are being treated - its really only Test, the psychotropic meds i can't do anything about, but if I'm still able to have these experiences than its common sense that this is a problem that needs to be fixed).

Sketch

Sorry to hear about your struggles and issues over the past ten years. When by yourself masturbating you are able to get 100% erect, but in a sexual situation it goes limp? If this is the case you are attributing it to not enough stimulation, correct? I think that increasing your Girth would fix this issue of sensitivity. if there was a tighter fit during sex do you think you would be able to remain erect? Also, if you did not have to wear a rubber would you be able to remain erect? Have you done any PE in the past? Please get back to me on these questions so I can get my head around this issue. By the way, Welcome to the Brotherhood!

doublelongdaddy;591235 said:

Sorry to hear about your struggles and issues over the past ten years. When by yourself masturbating you are able to get 100% erect, but in a sexual situation it goes limp? If this is the case you are attributing it to not enough stimulation, correct? I think that increasing your Girth would fix this issue of sensitivity. if there was a tighter fit during sex do you think you would be able to remain erect? Also, if you did not have to wear a rubber would you be able to remain erect? Have you done any PE in the past? Please get back to me on these questions so I can get my head around this issue. By the way, Welcome to the Brotherhood!

Click to expand...

Thanks for your response.
When i masturbate by myself i am able to get 100% erect and climax. However, as stated above i have to be laying on my back in the position I've become accustomed to.

In a sexual situation i go limp, only because of the lubrication (which I'm not used to given I've been masturbating rough/dry for so long) and the fact that there is little to no friction (what's going to be tighter than a dry hand???)

If it was tighter therefore providing more stimulation, yes possibly.

If i didn't wear a condom also possibly.

My experience with PE is -

Use of the pro extender (jes extender)
On and off. Pretty infrequently. I was using it every other day a few months back but discontinued. I also don't want to add too much stress to the nerves on my penis due to the sensitivity issue.

Bathmate - Began about two months ago but stopped as I'm no longer in a private setting at the moment (temporarily). The Bathmate is great, very easy to use great for penile health.

No jelqing as i think that would be counterproductive with the whole masturbation sensitivity issue. But i do (or did) stretch prior to using my extender or Bathmate.

Ideally, I'd like to continue with the Bathmate and add some hanging. Possibly down the line get a better extender.

But going back to the question at hand. I'm thinking that if i can climax on my back like this with the fleshlight and minimum lube, perhaps this is something i should continue to do (haven't used the fleshlight in several months). Then after being comfortable with lubrication in the position I'm most comfortable with i could try other positions. The whole point being getting myself used to the lube and friction.

By the way last i checked PE stats are 5 1/2 BPEL flaccid 2-2 1/2. I'll have to check my logs and confirm.

Thanks again.
Sketch

Yes just keep using lube and begin masturbating in diff positions. the brain is plastic

Dude that sucks so bad man.

Do you think the Low T levels are correlated to the use of your antidepressant?

I also have a masturbation problem and Ive been doing it for 8 years, but I have more of a problem keeping erection standing up.
I can get the best EQ on my back and then sitting in a chair. I masturbated in a chair in all my instances of masturbation.
I may have conditioned some muscles differently over time by doing this, not sure.

It's almost like my mind thinks that the standing position is not erection time. Like, you don't normally get erections in this position, so why should I grant you one?


How long have you been on your antidepressant? (I know you said you can't quit it, but I would just like to know)

youknowme123321;591350 said:

Yes just keep using lube and begin masturbating in diff positions. the brain is plastic

Click to expand...

The brain placidity is enormously stretchable and within 28 days any habitual behavior can be changed...this is proven science.

Hey guys. Thanks for the replies.

I do believe my ongoing sexual dysfunction to be both hormonal in nature and the antidepressant having an effect. However with that being said even on antidepressants I've been able to have and maintain an erection and climax in the position I've conditioned myself too.

I've been on antidepressants on and off since 2000. Long time i know. This time is permanent combined with other psychotropic medications since 2008.

But throughout all this - the antidepressants and fluctuations in my t levels I've been able to climax but only under the circumstances I've conditioned myself in.

I understand what you mean about no erection when standing...i can't even imagine (haven't been able to for about a decade) doing doggystyle etc cuz I'm constantly on my back. And when i think of lubrication i instantly go limp....probably based on my experiences and the dry masturbation.

The only way I'm going to get thru this is by masturbating with lubrication (probably with the fleshlight) so i can begin associating (both psychologically and physically) lubrication with pleasure and climaxing).

So I'll probably start on my back since this is where I'm most comfortable. Once i successfully feel like i need lube for pleasure i can begin in different positions. That's the only way this decade long problem will solve.

That, and treating the low t which is being done.

From a pe perspective given I'm so small any length or girth would help as it would help with better friction and more sensation over the shaft which is where i lack a lot of sensitivity.

But i don't want to jeopardize doing things to rough like dry jelqing which could further desensitized me from lubrication etc.

Sketch2000;591732 said:

Hey guys. Thanks for the replies.

I do believe my ongoing sexual dysfunction to be both hormonal in nature and the antidepressant having an effect. However with that being said even on antidepressants I've been able to have and maintain an erection and climax in the position I've conditioned myself too.

I've been on antidepressants on and off since 2000. Long time i know. This time is permanent combined with other psychotropic medications since 2008.

But throughout all this - the antidepressants and fluctuations in my t levels I've been able to climax but only under the circumstances I've conditioned myself in.

I understand what you mean about no erection when standing...i can't even imagine (haven't been able to for about a decade) doing doggystyle etc cuz I'm constantly on my back. And when i think of lubrication i instantly go limp....probably based on my experiences and the dry masturbation.

The only way I'm going to get thru this is by masturbating with lubrication (probably with the fleshlight) so i can begin associating (both psychologically and physically) lubrication with pleasure and climaxing).

So I'll probably start on my back since this is where I'm most comfortable. Once i successfully feel like i need lube for pleasure i can begin in different positions. That's the only way this decade long problem will solve.

That, and treating the low t which is being done.

From a pe perspective given I'm so small any length or girth would help as it would help with better friction and more sensation over the shaft which is where i lack a lot of sensitivity.

But i don't want to jeopardize doing things to rough like dry jelqing which could further desensitized me from lubrication etc.

Click to expand...

You're welcome. You have a good plan set out to leave this issue in your past. May the lubed force be with you

Lol thanks bro

I masturbate mostly on my back buy I do vary it, no so much that is an issue but more for convenience in any situation. I hope that helps you get through your problems. We can become very comfortable in our ways and sometimes the best medicine is to vary what we do to become more flexible and confident. I wish you the best my friend and I hope you see an improvement quickly.

doublelongdaddy;591761 said:

I masturbate mostly on my back buy I do vary it, no so much that is an issue but more for convenience in any situation. I hope that helps you get through your problems. We can become very comfortable in our ways and sometimes the best medicine is to vary what we do to become more flexible and confident. I wish you the best my friend and I hope you see an improvement quickly.

Click to expand...

Thank you D.
BTW- I posted a message on your profile page. If you get a chance I'd like to get your feedback.

Hopefully fixing the low T does something. In regards to getting that fixed and then being able to get erections @ all angles (standing, sitting, doing cartwheel masturbation sessions), I wouldn't doubt that it would work. I guess it would depend on your libido when trying those angles and if fixing your low T issue will actually increase your libido or are you only making a number high on a piece of paper.

How is your libido ATM? I take it you're still horny or slightly horny when you change positions?

I just think you have some type of ED and only 1 position is working for you. Higher T levels should fix this, hopefully!

It's going to be more difficult if you think it's part of your psychology.
Hopefully you can re-associate your brain to somehow associate lube w/ some type of libido/erection initiation in your brain.
I think as we age, this stuff gets much more difficult. Have to re-wire things a bit since they've been embedded for years.

I think as you work with lube and masturbating in various positions it will prove very helpful. So if you try to masturbate in a different position right now will you be able to get hard? If you stand close to cumming on your back will you lose your urge to cum and your erection?

smerc;591825 said:

Hopefully fixing the low T does something. In regards to getting that fixed and then being able to get erections @ all angles (standing, sitting, doing cartwheel masturbation sessions), I wouldn't doubt that it would work. I guess it would depend on your libido when trying those angles and if fixing your low T issue will actually increase your libido or are you only making a number high on a piece of paper.

How is your libido ATM? I take it you're still horny or slightly horny when you change positions?

I just think you have some type of ED and only 1 position is working for you. Higher T levels should fix this, hopefully!

It's going to be more difficult if you think it's part of your psychology.
Hopefully you can re-associate your brain to somehow associate lube w/ some type of libido/erection initiation in your brain.
I think as we age, this stuff gets much more difficult. Have to re-wire things a bit since they've been embedded for years.

Click to expand...

My libido ATM is decent. Mostly present when i lay down...
Fixing the low T issue (which i am working on - currently using Androgel) will definitely help.
I agree --- Its all about association. If I can't associate lube with pleasure and friction than it won't work...thus far I haven't been able to. But I will say i am very pleased with the feedback I've gotten on this forum.

Practice makes perfect! lol

Sketch

youknowme123321;591850 said:

I think as you work with lube and masturbating in various positions it will prove very helpful. So if you try to masturbate in a different position right now will you be able to get hard? If you stand close to cumming on your back will you lose your urge to cum and your erection?

Click to expand...

If I try right now from starting at an erect position - like for instance watching some light ���� so i can get aroused, then getting in a position that I'm unfamilar with - standing, sitting, on my knees, etc.... I'll go limp just because of the lube and lack of friction.

If I lay on my back on the other hand I'll come close to cumming and/or climax.

This is with lube.

Now I'm considering all of this practice by using the fleshlight since it seems to be the most realistic thing. With lube of course.

Sketch2000;592000 said:

If I try right now from starting at an erect position - like for instance watching some light ���� so i can get aroused, then getting in a position that I'm unfamilar with - standing, sitting, on my knees, etc.... I'll go limp just because of the lube and lack of friction.

If I lay on my back on the other hand I'll come close to cumming and/or climax.

This is with lube.

Now I'm considering all of this practice by using the fleshlight since it seems to be the most realistic thing. With lube of course.

Click to expand...

Ya i am thinking about getting a FLeshLight also. I have always done no lube masturbation so fucking a girl with a real wet pussy I can last a long time...sometimes longer then i want to lol.

When you get very close to cumming switch positions and see if you can still cum in the different position after beginning in your comfortable position

Sketch2000;592000 said:

Now I'm considering all of this practice by using the fleshlight since it seems to be the most realistic thing. With lube of course.

Click to expand...

I'm just tossing out an idea here. It's going to do nothing for recreating an actual encounter w/ a girl.

BUT...that being said...

You might try a hitachi wand ( ).. Just for erection purposes when standing. I never tried it, but I know the vibration can help induce an erection very quickly.
Some people even tried it w/ their pumping routines to help aid in prolonged erections. Granted people don't really report much on it, so I don't know how long they keep it in their routine(s).

If all fails. At least you have something for your muscle cramps or ETC if you ever get that stuff.


EDIT: Vibrating massager is another term for it.

smerc;592012 said:

I'm just tossing out an idea here. It's going to do nothing for recreating an actual encounter w/ a girl.

BUT...that being said...

You might try a hitachi wand ( ).. Just for erection purposes when standing. I never tried it, but I know the vibration can help induce an erection very quickly.
Some people even tried it w/ their pumping routines to help aid in prolonged erections. Granted people don't really report much on it, so I don't know how long they keep it in their routine(s).

If all fails. At least you have something for your muscle cramps or ETC if you ever get that stuff.


EDIT: Vibrating massager is another term for it.

Click to expand...

Cool. Thanks bro. At this point anything is an option. I'll look into it.

Sketch

smerc;592012 said:

I'm just tossing out an idea here. It's going to do nothing for recreating an actual encounter w/ a girl.

BUT...that being said...

You might try a hitachi wand ( ).. Just for erection purposes when standing. I never tried it, but I know the vibration can help induce an erection very quickly.
Some people even tried it w/ their pumping routines to help aid in prolonged erections. Granted people don't really report much on it, so I don't know how long they keep it in their routine(s).

If all fails. At least you have something for your muscle cramps or ETC if you ever get that stuff.


EDIT: Vibrating massager is another term for it.

Click to expand...

Good idea.

Girls secret vibrator is also another term for it hahaha. If you go to a girls house and see that in her room she does not use it to massage her body.

this post has me thinking. I have always jerked off dry. THink this has affected my sensitivity. If a girl gets really wet i can have a tough time cumming mostly on the 2nd or 3rd time cumming in the same session or day. first time i guess it probably works to my advantage but i want to be able to cum more often and not have to feel like i am working so hard to cum aft the first time i cum

so i think i may try a fleshlight? anyone here have one and like it? or should i just use my hand and lube? i am think why not just spend the 60$ and get the fleshlight as it will prob recreate the real thing better with lube then my hand and lube can.