Ron Jeremy a little above average?
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Maybe he sa your dick mr dld lol
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Agree 100%TimBo755 said:
S
stillwantmore
Guest
Yea, I've seen the re-runs of this show, and it's good, but the women on it piss me off. Youve got the one chick who was on "Real World"...the blonde hottie who is only "outgoing" when she's drunk, and then she wines about how people act toward her when she's drunk. Then youve got that other half black/half whatever chick...dun recall her name..the one engaged to the self proclaimed 'big wig', who pretends to be a mega cock tease always offering/promising to get naked...have sex...get other people naked, etc...but she never comes through because her fiance wont approve....show just pisses me off.
Ron Jeremy is a legend, and he's cool because he's the average Joe...ugly fuck with a big dick that's made a name for himself in an industry that usually reserves fame and fortune for the "pretty people". He gives us average looking guys hope.
Ron Jeremy is a legend, and he's cool because he's the average Joe...ugly fuck with a big dick that's made a name for himself in an industry that usually reserves fame and fortune for the "pretty people". He gives us average looking guys hope.
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Ron has a huge fuckin dink, the only people round here that can say otherwise is Mr. Longdaddy.
I saw a biography on Mr. Jeremy and His Flaccid hang is unreal in a pic on that movie, and I dont think the 9'' is BPenis EnlargementL, only us Penis Enlargement'ers do that....
I saw a biography on Mr. Jeremy and His Flaccid hang is unreal in a pic on that movie, and I dont think the 9'' is BPenis EnlargementL, only us Penis Enlargement'ers do that....
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Uh-Oh said:
I agree! I think he has very handsome features and wonderful eyes. He is a bit overweight but some peoples sins show in different ways. I also think he is extremely personable, he is the kind of guy I would love to hang out with. I also admire his ability to laugh at himself, that type of humbleness is better than beauty itself.
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VladtheImpaler said:
Of course not, It's just in "���� inches" cuz there aint no way he is 9"NBP. Maybe back in the late 70s he was.
Also, I think he is a cool guy, but remember, those girls are paid to fuck him.
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Hey dld, I'm a little confused...in some of your profile stuff you say you are over 10+ inches, so if you're saying that over 8 inches is monster cock material then what shall we call you? (Actually, call me, please) I think 10 is just about right, myself...so how long was the guy that got busted for the Denver Horsemen gang bang club? Was he a MOS graduate? I think Ron Jeremy has beautiful eyes, wish he had more girth, girth is good. Saw the surreal life and thought he seemed like a nice guy after all the excitement of 15 minutes of fame...hope he found someone in life who loves him just for who he is inside..
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Well he have said on television he was nine and a half inches. No pornmovie or anything. Just a Swedish show, when watching it ... well at sometimes i wanted to grab a gun and end his life.. then at other times he was normal again. A really strange dude that Jeremy lol. =D
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Molly Jones said:
I think anything over 8" in length is monster cock material so I guess I am a monster
Molly Jones said:
Lost me here, could you rephrase the question?
Molly Jones said:
I agree, Ron has beautiful eyes. I always thought Ron's girth was great.
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I have seen that! Looked very funny when he sat all by himself outside, sucking his own dick. I guess that scene was a classic, but you havent seen it?prince Albert said:looks dam impressive to me,saw an interview when he said he used to be able to suck himself.
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I don't know the particulars but the guy who was the founder of Denver Horsemen evidently thought he had a monster mover, I just wondered if you knew if he had done Penis Enlargement?
Found thi in an article.......DOES THE MAN REALLY NEED AN INTRODUCTION? PROBABLY NOT. WOULD HE BE UPSET IF WE DIDN'T GIVE HIM ONE? PROBABLY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (BUT MOSTLY LADIES), MR. RON JEREMY.
Ron: Hello there.
Wayne: Hey. How’s it going?
R: Good.
W: Good. Just so you know, I’m taping this.
R: I want you to.
W: Good. By law, we’ve got to tell people that.
R: That’s fine.
W: Okay. Also, if you want me to send you a copy of the interview before it goes to print, to make sure that it’s accurate and all names are spelled correctly, I can do that for you. That way, if you end up saying something that you regret saying, you can look it over first.
R: That never happens with me. After 26 years, nothing in print is going to really bother me.
W: (laughs)
R: Fat, short, hairy bastard. What else can they say?
W: (laughs) That’s cool. I just put it out there as an option. So, let’s start by talking about the documentary about your life, ���� Star. I was wondering how the idea came about, and were there aspects of your life that you didn’t show because you didn’t want other people to see them?
R: No. The film people had, pretty much, free reign. I didn’t want to do it at first. For about a year, they were chasing me to do it. I told them I didn’t want to do it, and they asked why. And I said, “What am I going to promote? Ron Jeremy the ���� actor?” I already was, pretty much, the best known adult film actor in the world. Or at least all the magazines were calling me that. AVN (Adult Video News) did a whole special and said I was number one, and Jenna Jameson was number two. So, I wasn’t sure how it would help my mainstream career. Just like having an E! True Hollywood Story doesn’t necessarily get you a job.
W: Exactly.
R: John Frankenheimer advised me against doing it. And he’s actually put me in five movies. He said that recognizability doesn’t always help. Especially when it’s recognized for that. He even experienced that in Ronin. I worked on Ronin, but I was cut from it. My name is in the credits, misspelled, as Ron Hiatt. I played the fisHydromaxonger. I owned a fish cart that got slammed by cars. And he also put me in Reindeer Games, which I also got cut from. I was credited under my real name, Ron Hyatt.
W: Was there a reason why they misspelled it in Ronin?
R: No. It was an accident. But I do appear in some of his other movies, like Dead Bang, George Wallace, and 52 Pick-Up. And he wanted to give me a little cameo in the new Exorcist movie, which he was going to direct. But then he passed away. And he gave me a great voice-over job on the HBO film about Lyndon Johnson. But they cut it after he passed away. I guess the editors decided not to use it. I was very flattered that he wanted to use my voice in a movie of that stature, which now may be nominated for an Emmy. So, that’s why I didn’t want to do ���� Star. But then they really pushed it, and, what really made me go over the edge was that they purchased a synopsis that I wrote about a serial killer and a social worker. It’s a twisted love story.
W: I’d say so.
R: So they took it and paid for it. Then they used their Jewish guilt. “You know, we did buy your script.” (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: (laughing) Oh, you bastards. But it worked. The main thing about it is that it put a nice face on the world of ����. The John Holmes documentary didn’t put a very good face on the business. But this did. One critic from Film Threat made a really nice comment, saying that after seeing those, you didn’t want to watch ����; you felt guilty. Then you watch Ron, and you enjoy seeing a ���� film. And I had no real skeletons in the closet, other than the ����. I knew I had no history of drugs, abuse, beating people up. You know? Just a nice, Jewish boy from Queens; so I figured what the hell. What did I have to lose? So I agreed.
W: How long did the cameras follow you around?
R: Between a year or two.
W: Did they go everywhere you went?
R: A lot, yeah. The only restriction I made, which is very funny because he (director, Scott Gill) broke it, was that he couldn’t watch me do a sex scene. He couldn’t be there when I had to jerk it to get an erection. But he followed me anyway. One of the funny moments in the movie is when I said to him, “Scott, don’t follow me,” and he catches me in that little back storage area. I was like, “You bastard.”
W: (laughs) I ended up watching ���� Star with someone that wasn’t familiar with the ���� industry at all, and, after watching it, she said, “Ron is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever come across.” I think it definitely puts ���� into a different light than what most people are used to.
R: Yeah. And people found it entertaining, which I think is very nice. He obviously did a great job, because everyone seems to like it. There were a lot of things I would have liked to have been different; I wish there was more of my mother mentioned. Especially in these times. Both my parents were involved in wars. I had a cousin who died in a war. He got shot, so they gave him the Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor. I showed it to Scott, but he didn’t use it in the film. That’s a great story on its own. That’s a whole documentary in itself. And I had another cousin who had to change his religion to become a lieutenant. He was Jewish, but you had to be Christian to become a lieutenant. He died as a hero under the cross. The relatives exhumed the body, switched him back to a Jew, and buried him under a star. So a lot of that stuff didn’t make it in there. And a lot of the celebrity stuff didn’t make it in there, because it’s too expensive. You have to buy the rights to all kinds of things.
W: Right.
R: Can you hold on a second?
W: Yeah, sure.
[RON TAKES A CALL ON THE OTHER LINE.]
R: Sorry about that. That might happen once or twice during the interview.
W: That’s cool.
R: What was I saying?
W: You were talking about celebrity usage.
R: Oh yeah. So it was hard to get a lot of celebrities because it was too expensive. We had Eddie Murphy and a great routine he does about me; we had me on Jay Leno, which they’re actually using in the Australian version, which I think is so great. They don’t give a fuck about rights. And we had me and Barbara Walters, Ted Koppel, and me in other movies and TV shows, like The Man Show. They were able to use stuff from Conan O’Brien.
W: Yeah. I saw that they used a lot of that, actually.
R: Yeah. And we had stuff from Jerry Springer, but Viacom said we couldn’t use it. It was just so frustrating. That piece we used from Nash Bridges, the Don Johnson piece?
W: Yeah.
R: Now, I know Don, and he’s a really good guy. He was real sweet to me, so I knew we’d eventually get it. I really put my foot down on that one. I asked only two things. I told them not to shoot me having a sex scene. I’m aware when there is one camera on me, because I try to suck in the stomach and know where they’re shooting. But with another guy filming a documentary, I don’t want to get a fold of flab on the camera.
W: (laughs)
R: I always try to know where the cameras are so I can deal accordingly. And the second deal was, I couldn’t tell them what they could and couldn’t use. I had no approval at all. But I told them that if they didn’t use the Don Johnson piece, then I’m not going to promote the movie anywhere. I’m not going to fly anywhere in America or around the world, which I’ve done a lot of, by the way, unless that piece goes in there. Because I didn’t want that cut out. Nash Bridges cost us $9,000 for every ten seconds. Celebrity Death Match: $9,000, ten seconds. Saturday Night Live: $9,000, ten seconds. That was in there with Jon Lovitz playing me. I told them, “I know it’s very expensive, but you’re not going to cut that out.” Otherwise, it just would have looked like I was a guy who wishes he could get work someday. At least having that in there shows, “Look at that. He got on an episodic television show at night, and it’s a drama.” Or a quirky feature film, like Orgazmo, which is still very important. They can say all the jokes they want. “Oh, he wants to become famous.” “Oh, he wants to be an actor.” But how many actors get on Nash Bridges? And there were others, too, like Just Shoot Me. But I wanted Nash Bridges to be in there for sure. So they agreed with it, they kept it in, and bingo. I promoted the film everywhere.
W: So--
R: Oh. I wanted to go back to one thing. Sorry.
W: Sure.
R: About my parents in the war. I couldn’t believe that my mother being in the OSS, which became the CIA in the late-Forties, was cut from the movie. She was a lieutenant, a decoder, and a cryptographer. Because she spoke fluent German and French they put her right into the army. They gave her high-rank, incase she was ever captured. She fought the Germans, and my dad fought the Japanese. And what kills me is that was a credit. (laughs) It’s in the movie as a credit. I said, “Scott, what are you thinking? You had pictures of her in her lieutenant uniform; you’ve got my dad talking about her. What are you fucking doing?” He said he had no place to put it. And I said, “That’s my mom, you fucking idiot.”
W: (laughs)
R: A lot of kids had dads in the war. But how many kids had their mom in the war? Especially as a member of the OSS and as a spy?
W: Exactly.
R: It’s what puts me in common with George Bush, Jr. Both of our parents were in the OSS/CIA. And, I went to high school with the head of the CIA, George Tenet. There’s a big article about that in the Queens Tribune; about how we both went to Cardozo High School. We were in the same class. So, anyway. In the DVD, if you watch the extra scenes, in one of those scenes my dad does talk about my mom and the war. So that’s a little different. When people first see the DVD they say, “Why weren’t these extras in the movie?” Everyone has said that about those ten extras. “Deleted scenes? What the fuck was he thinking?”
W: Yeah. Because the movie was only 80 minutes long.
R: And I don’t get that either. All he said to me, the whole year-and-a-half we were doing it, was, “I’ve got a goddamn mini-series.” So I asked him what was up with an hour-and-fifteen. And he said, “Well, we test-screened it, and that was the time that people seemed to like.” I said, “You’re an idiot.” It got critically-acclaimed and nominated for the Chicago Film Critics Award; it’s done very, very well around the world. So maybe he knew what he was talking about. But I still don’t get it. He could have made it an hour-and-45 without even thinking. He could have added those deleted scenes and added 20 minutes to it.
W: I mean, 80 minutes is shorter than a Disney film, for Christ’s sake. And it’s such an interesting topic. It’s not something that people come across every day. So it could have easily held someone’s interest for two hours.
R: I don’t get it. I don’t know why he did that. I’ll never understand it.
W: So, the feedback has been good?
R: Extremely good. But, again, one of the critiques was that they could have used a little less sex, and more of stuff like my mom.
W: So you would have liked to have seen more personal stuff about your life?
R: Yeah. Like more of Venice. Because people always ask me, “Who was that girl?” She’s not a ���� actress. She’s just a girl that I knew, and she’s been my best friend for many, many years. And she’s so attractive and articulate. Am I right?
W: Definitely.
R: Did you see that deleted scene at the end when she tells Scott, “There. That’s the real Ron Jeremy,” and I’m on the floor with the dog licking my face?
W: Yeah.
R: That’s damn funny, isn’t it? People love that scene. And again, why wasn’t that in the movie? Scott told me he loved that scene, and said he’d use it in an extra scene. But why didn’t he use it in the damn movie, and play it after the credits? It is a perfect scene to put in after the credits. He said, “It may belittle a lot of the scenes I shot before, because they’ll assume that every time I shot someone else, you were always in the back somewhere. And I don’t know if I want people to think that.” And I told him, “I don’t know. They might just think that it was just in this one case.” But people tend not to do that. Like, if I was always around eavesdropping, they tend to say nice things. And I understand that point, to some extent. So he made it an extra, and people find it very entertaining.
W: I just see it as a nice slice of reality.
R: Oh, yeah. It doesn’t get any more real than that. I’m laying on the floor and the dog is licking my face.
W: Right. And I like the other scene with Venice when you’re in the bathroom with her, and she’s telling you that you are narcoleptic.
R: (laughs) What does she say again? I forgot.
W: She was just insisting that you were narcoleptic, and you were telling her that you weren’t. You told her, “I’ve got a cure for what I have. It’s called sleep.”
R: (laughs) That was the scene in the bathroom, while she’s combing her hair?
W: Yeah.
R: That’s funny.
W: So, in the film you talk about how Viagra has totally changed the industry. Are you a fairly anti-Viagra spokesperson?
R: I wouldn’t say I’m anti-Viagra. I think it’s best to do it on your own. Although, I’ve represented a couple of products that are more natural, like ExtenZe and VigRX, and you can visit them at vigrx.com. That’s V-I-G-R-X. Better yet, a website I’d like to promote is vigisbig.com. I’ve seen that do the best. With Viagra, guys usually take too long to climax. It is the best known, of course. And ExtenZe did really well with that late-night infomercial I did. But VigRX, the new one coming out, is an amazing infomercial. And I’ve seen that work really well. It’s an oil that you rub on your scHydromaxeckle. And they’ve got one for girls, too, called VigRL. That’s spelled V-I-G-R-L.
W: Want to spell “scHydromaxeckle” for me?
R: (laughs) Use your imagination, you bastard.
W: (laughs)
R: Find me at scHydromaxeckle.com. (laughs) No. I’m kidding.
W: (laughs)
R: I wish I had one of those, actually. (laughs)
W: You should register that.
R: Ah, who cares?
W: (laughs)
R: Oh, you know what? My site, ronjeremy.com, is very funny right now. After the interview, check it out. You’ll laugh, because it’s me dressed up as that terrorist, because I look just like him.
W: (laughs)
R: All these TV shows made jokes about it: Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Kimmel. So we posed me like the guy, and we’re running a contest. It’s very funny. And my website has a whole bunch of celebrities on it. And it’s free. To look at all the celebrities, it’s free. You’ll see pictures of me with Brad Pitt, Nancy Sinatra, Jim Carrey, Lennox Lewis, and Robin Williams. And there are stories to go with it, so you’ll get a kick out of it. There are pictures of me as a young man, my first picture in Playgirl, me doing martial arts, and there is no membership. It’s all free. Now, if you want to see other things, like the X-rated stuff, then there’s a price.
W: Cool. So, you’ve been in the industry for nearly 27 years now. How is it different now from when you started?
R: Well, the girls have gotten more attractive, because we’re now attracting girls from all over the world. See, in the old days, strip clubs used to thumb their nose at the ���� star. But then they saw the money we were making. So people thought, “Well, I’ll go to California and I’ll do that.” So there has been this influx of dancers from all over the country. And they all came to L.A. to do scenes and work. And then they’d go back on the road as a featured dancer. So, eventually, almost every ���� star in the business today, is, was, or will be a dancer. And they’ll do appearances and make the real big bucks. Some of them can make up to $18,000 in a week. And they’ll work four weeks at a time. So figure that out. And then they’ll have websites. So, one way it’s changed is that the girls are becoming very, very wealthy. The average contract begins between $100,000 and $250,000 a year.
W: Wow.
R: Jenna Jameson has bragged that she’s socked $3 million away in six years. So, the business has changed in that aspect. Storylines have dropped, because it’s gone more video now. There’s a lot of pro-amateur now, which is the biggest selling stuff, I hate to say. I find it kind of boring myself. “So where are you from? What are your hobbies like? Will you do a little dance for us? That’s nice. Eat me.” They just don’t want to have to come up with dialogue.
W: Do you miss the storylines?
R: I miss them a little bit. But I’m under contract with Metro Studios and Metro Interactive, and they try to put in some storylines. And they’ve got their pro-amateurs as well, but I’m with a good company, and I’m very glad.
W: I think it shows in the documentary that you also take your non-���� acting very seriously. So, does it bother you that a lot of other people don’t?
R: No. I made a very funny comment in the documentary that sounds so dumb, but when actors see it, they say, “He’s actually right.” But it came across so damn corny, the way Scott shot me saying it in my car. I should have looked at the camera after I said it and gave a wink. But it’s really true, if you think about it. You know, they can make all the jokes they want. But let’s see Sir John Gielgud or Richard Burton do Shakespeare with a boner. Reciting a dialogue while maintaining an erection is not always that easy. And another corny comment I make is that Stanislavsky or Lee Strasberg, all those things they teach about the audience not being there, and very, very strong concentration, and how you don’t portray the character, you become it, well, Jesus Christ, ����� is one of the best examples of that. You can’t look at the camera man’s face, or the ceiling, or a light switch. Because you just have to look at that pretty girl’s face and only think that you’re with her alone, or else you’re never going to get a boner. Then again, now, with Viagra, who needs Shakespeare?
W: (laughs) That’s a quote.
R: Or who needs a soliloquy, you know? It’s just changed things. Back in the old days, they’d only use a handful of us guys. Myself, Randy West, Peter North, you know? You didn’t see a lot of us. So there were a handful, but we’d last for ten or 20 years. Nowadays, you’ll see a new guy every other month. Because now anybody can do it.
W: What’s harder: acting in films or �����?
R: Oh, of course ����� is much easier. That’s why I did it. I settled for it. I didn’t really choose it. Had I gotten more work in the mainstream, I never would have done it. But it’s a nightmare. It’s just very, very difficult.
W: Right. In the documentary, you talk about how you think of disgusting things while you’re fucking so you don’t come.
R: That’s a true story. I did an article on that once. I interviewed guys and asked them what they thought of to keep from letting go.
W: It was weird when I heard you say that, because it rings true for me--
R: Well, in real life, I don’t have to do that. In real life, you can just stop, pull it out, let it get cold--
W: And then put it back.
R: Right. Or use a finger or a mouth; something else. Or you can watch TV or a commercial break or something. Or, let it go. Let it go with a hand or oral, and you’ll last longer when you do the nookie. You’ll keep going.
W: Right.
R: Because the second time around, guys usually last longer. So, allow some time to go by, watch television, and then continue. There are a lot of different ways you can experiment about that.
W: See, I think about boring shit. Like curtains or bars of soap.
R: You have to. Like cleaning the yard, ex-wives, or family relatives.
W: Yeah. The most monotonous shit.
R: You know what I used to think about?
W: What?
R: (to his friend Natalie, that is in the room) Is that yours or mine? (pauses, to Wayne) You know, I never really believed in ghosts. Not in people being dead, and being able to see what you’re doing or know what you’re thinking. I don’t think they can. But if they could, could you imagine if they could run through your thoughts? And I’m thinking about them while I’m having sex to keep from coming? (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: Oh my God. (laughs) So if there are any ghosts of my relatives, they’re probably thinking, “You are a disgusting pig. We’ve got some surprises for you, Ron. We’re going to carve up your penis and serve it like a turkey dinner.” (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: I should put that in my comedy act. We just wrote a bit together, you and I.
W: There ya go. I’ll go on tour with you. We could tag-team.
R: (laughs) There ya go. We’ll tag-team one of my old relatives. (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: Anyway, one of my old standard jokes was, if a guy comes anyway-- (pauses) Can you hold on one second please?
W: Sure.
[RON TALKS TO HIS FRIEND, NATALIE, THAT IS IN THE ROOM WITH HIM.]
R: (to Natalie) I’ll call for you. It’s no trouble. No. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it. (to Wayne) Hello?
W: Yeah.
R: Okay. So, the joke was, some guys think about a man’s behind to keep from coming. But that’s very, very dangerous. Because, if you think about that, and you climax anyway,...
W: (laughing)
R: It changes your entire way of life. It’s like Pavlov conditioning.
W: Because then you won’t be able to come without thinking of another guy’s ass.
R: Right. And then every time you think of a hairy behind-- “Oh God! Oh God! Ahhh!”
W: (laughing)
R: (laughs) Like you’re Pavlov’s dog in a skinner box. It’ll get you into a heap of trouble.
W: (laughs) That’s fucked up. Hey, real quick, I’ve got two people in the room here with me, and they’d like to say hello to you. Is that cool?
R: Sure.
W: Okay. One sec.
Debbie: Hey, Ron?
R: Hey there.
D: Hey. What’s going on? This is Debbie.
R: Hi. How are ya?
D: Pretty good. How are you doing?
R: Good.
D: Cool. I don’t really have anything to say.
R: Well, nice to meet you.
D: Nice to meet you, too. I’m a big fan of your work.
R: Thanks.
D: Sure. You know, there’s an even bigger fan of yours here that wants to say something, so hold on one second.
R: Okay.
Stella: Hello. This is Stella.
R: Hello there. You sound adorable.
S: Thanks. I brought over pizza for everyone here, and I wish you could come over and share, but--
R: What did you bring?
S: I brought pizza and salad over.
R: You should put it on the phone.
S: (laughs)
R: Where are you all located?
S: Columbus.
R: Columbus, Ohio?
S: Oh yeah.
R: I’ve done shows over there many times. What’s the name of the publication?
S: It’s tastes like chicken.
R: tastes like chicken. That’s funny.
S: Yeah. Well, thanks so much for talking to me.
R: Sure.
S: Here’s Wayne.
R: Okay.
W: Hey. Thanks for doing that.
R: My pleasure. So you guys are based in Columbus?
W: For right now. We’re moving soon.
R: Good. Here’s a joke for you. If you like chicken, and you like rooster, and you like duck, you’ll like what’s in my pants, because it’s foul.
W: (laughs)
R: (laughs) That should be your theme. Or, if you like birds, you’ll like what’s in Wayne’s pants, because it’s just a swallow.
W: (laughs)
R: Or, if you like fruit, you’ll like what’s in my pants, because it’s a peach. (laughs)
W: (laughs) I’m going to use those.
R: Good.
W: So, you knew John Holmes?
R: Yeah.
W: And someone told me you two had nicknames for each other.
R: Yeah. He used to call me “Little Dick”. He had me beat by about an inch-and-a-half. I’m about nine-and-three-quarters, and he was eleven something. So I’d say to him, “With you, John, it’s not sex. It’s a Pap Smear.”
W: (laughs)
R: I’d say, “You can enter the damn uterus, for God’s sake.” So, he called me “Little Dick”, and I’d call him “Pap Smear”.
W: Did you see the article in the newest Rolling Stone, about this kid with a huge dick that claims to be John’s illegitimate son?
R: Oh, I heard about that.
W: He’s 14 inches, supposedly.
R: He’s not that good-looking. It’s probably a bullshit story. It’s not John’s son. He’s my son, actually. (laughs)
W: (laughs) Okay. I’ve just got one more question for you. We ask everyone this.
R: Okay.
W: Do dogs have lips?
R: Do dogs have lips? Hmm. (pauses) One second.
[RON TALKS TO HIS FRIEND NATALIE.]
R: (to Natalie) Do dogs have lips? They do? Okay. (to Wayne) I asked my friend Natalie, and she says they do.
W: They do?
R: According to her, they do. And she’d know. Natalie knows everything.
W: Sounds good to me.
VISIT RON HERE.
PURCHASE ITEMS BY RON JEREMY
Ron: Hello there.
Wayne: Hey. How’s it going?
R: Good.
W: Good. Just so you know, I’m taping this.
R: I want you to.
W: Good. By law, we’ve got to tell people that.
R: That’s fine.
W: Okay. Also, if you want me to send you a copy of the interview before it goes to print, to make sure that it’s accurate and all names are spelled correctly, I can do that for you. That way, if you end up saying something that you regret saying, you can look it over first.
R: That never happens with me. After 26 years, nothing in print is going to really bother me.
W: (laughs)
R: Fat, short, hairy bastard. What else can they say?
W: (laughs) That’s cool. I just put it out there as an option. So, let’s start by talking about the documentary about your life, ���� Star. I was wondering how the idea came about, and were there aspects of your life that you didn’t show because you didn’t want other people to see them?
R: No. The film people had, pretty much, free reign. I didn’t want to do it at first. For about a year, they were chasing me to do it. I told them I didn’t want to do it, and they asked why. And I said, “What am I going to promote? Ron Jeremy the ���� actor?” I already was, pretty much, the best known adult film actor in the world. Or at least all the magazines were calling me that. AVN (Adult Video News) did a whole special and said I was number one, and Jenna Jameson was number two. So, I wasn’t sure how it would help my mainstream career. Just like having an E! True Hollywood Story doesn’t necessarily get you a job.
W: Exactly.
R: John Frankenheimer advised me against doing it. And he’s actually put me in five movies. He said that recognizability doesn’t always help. Especially when it’s recognized for that. He even experienced that in Ronin. I worked on Ronin, but I was cut from it. My name is in the credits, misspelled, as Ron Hiatt. I played the fisHydromaxonger. I owned a fish cart that got slammed by cars. And he also put me in Reindeer Games, which I also got cut from. I was credited under my real name, Ron Hyatt.
W: Was there a reason why they misspelled it in Ronin?
R: No. It was an accident. But I do appear in some of his other movies, like Dead Bang, George Wallace, and 52 Pick-Up. And he wanted to give me a little cameo in the new Exorcist movie, which he was going to direct. But then he passed away. And he gave me a great voice-over job on the HBO film about Lyndon Johnson. But they cut it after he passed away. I guess the editors decided not to use it. I was very flattered that he wanted to use my voice in a movie of that stature, which now may be nominated for an Emmy. So, that’s why I didn’t want to do ���� Star. But then they really pushed it, and, what really made me go over the edge was that they purchased a synopsis that I wrote about a serial killer and a social worker. It’s a twisted love story.
W: I’d say so.
R: So they took it and paid for it. Then they used their Jewish guilt. “You know, we did buy your script.” (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: (laughing) Oh, you bastards. But it worked. The main thing about it is that it put a nice face on the world of ����. The John Holmes documentary didn’t put a very good face on the business. But this did. One critic from Film Threat made a really nice comment, saying that after seeing those, you didn’t want to watch ����; you felt guilty. Then you watch Ron, and you enjoy seeing a ���� film. And I had no real skeletons in the closet, other than the ����. I knew I had no history of drugs, abuse, beating people up. You know? Just a nice, Jewish boy from Queens; so I figured what the hell. What did I have to lose? So I agreed.
W: How long did the cameras follow you around?
R: Between a year or two.
W: Did they go everywhere you went?
R: A lot, yeah. The only restriction I made, which is very funny because he (director, Scott Gill) broke it, was that he couldn’t watch me do a sex scene. He couldn’t be there when I had to jerk it to get an erection. But he followed me anyway. One of the funny moments in the movie is when I said to him, “Scott, don’t follow me,” and he catches me in that little back storage area. I was like, “You bastard.”
W: (laughs) I ended up watching ���� Star with someone that wasn’t familiar with the ���� industry at all, and, after watching it, she said, “Ron is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever come across.” I think it definitely puts ���� into a different light than what most people are used to.
R: Yeah. And people found it entertaining, which I think is very nice. He obviously did a great job, because everyone seems to like it. There were a lot of things I would have liked to have been different; I wish there was more of my mother mentioned. Especially in these times. Both my parents were involved in wars. I had a cousin who died in a war. He got shot, so they gave him the Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor. I showed it to Scott, but he didn’t use it in the film. That’s a great story on its own. That’s a whole documentary in itself. And I had another cousin who had to change his religion to become a lieutenant. He was Jewish, but you had to be Christian to become a lieutenant. He died as a hero under the cross. The relatives exhumed the body, switched him back to a Jew, and buried him under a star. So a lot of that stuff didn’t make it in there. And a lot of the celebrity stuff didn’t make it in there, because it’s too expensive. You have to buy the rights to all kinds of things.
W: Right.
R: Can you hold on a second?
W: Yeah, sure.
[RON TAKES A CALL ON THE OTHER LINE.]
R: Sorry about that. That might happen once or twice during the interview.
W: That’s cool.
R: What was I saying?
W: You were talking about celebrity usage.
R: Oh yeah. So it was hard to get a lot of celebrities because it was too expensive. We had Eddie Murphy and a great routine he does about me; we had me on Jay Leno, which they’re actually using in the Australian version, which I think is so great. They don’t give a fuck about rights. And we had me and Barbara Walters, Ted Koppel, and me in other movies and TV shows, like The Man Show. They were able to use stuff from Conan O’Brien.
W: Yeah. I saw that they used a lot of that, actually.
R: Yeah. And we had stuff from Jerry Springer, but Viacom said we couldn’t use it. It was just so frustrating. That piece we used from Nash Bridges, the Don Johnson piece?
W: Yeah.
R: Now, I know Don, and he’s a really good guy. He was real sweet to me, so I knew we’d eventually get it. I really put my foot down on that one. I asked only two things. I told them not to shoot me having a sex scene. I’m aware when there is one camera on me, because I try to suck in the stomach and know where they’re shooting. But with another guy filming a documentary, I don’t want to get a fold of flab on the camera.
W: (laughs)
R: I always try to know where the cameras are so I can deal accordingly. And the second deal was, I couldn’t tell them what they could and couldn’t use. I had no approval at all. But I told them that if they didn’t use the Don Johnson piece, then I’m not going to promote the movie anywhere. I’m not going to fly anywhere in America or around the world, which I’ve done a lot of, by the way, unless that piece goes in there. Because I didn’t want that cut out. Nash Bridges cost us $9,000 for every ten seconds. Celebrity Death Match: $9,000, ten seconds. Saturday Night Live: $9,000, ten seconds. That was in there with Jon Lovitz playing me. I told them, “I know it’s very expensive, but you’re not going to cut that out.” Otherwise, it just would have looked like I was a guy who wishes he could get work someday. At least having that in there shows, “Look at that. He got on an episodic television show at night, and it’s a drama.” Or a quirky feature film, like Orgazmo, which is still very important. They can say all the jokes they want. “Oh, he wants to become famous.” “Oh, he wants to be an actor.” But how many actors get on Nash Bridges? And there were others, too, like Just Shoot Me. But I wanted Nash Bridges to be in there for sure. So they agreed with it, they kept it in, and bingo. I promoted the film everywhere.
W: So--
R: Oh. I wanted to go back to one thing. Sorry.
W: Sure.
R: About my parents in the war. I couldn’t believe that my mother being in the OSS, which became the CIA in the late-Forties, was cut from the movie. She was a lieutenant, a decoder, and a cryptographer. Because she spoke fluent German and French they put her right into the army. They gave her high-rank, incase she was ever captured. She fought the Germans, and my dad fought the Japanese. And what kills me is that was a credit. (laughs) It’s in the movie as a credit. I said, “Scott, what are you thinking? You had pictures of her in her lieutenant uniform; you’ve got my dad talking about her. What are you fucking doing?” He said he had no place to put it. And I said, “That’s my mom, you fucking idiot.”
W: (laughs)
R: A lot of kids had dads in the war. But how many kids had their mom in the war? Especially as a member of the OSS and as a spy?
W: Exactly.
R: It’s what puts me in common with George Bush, Jr. Both of our parents were in the OSS/CIA. And, I went to high school with the head of the CIA, George Tenet. There’s a big article about that in the Queens Tribune; about how we both went to Cardozo High School. We were in the same class. So, anyway. In the DVD, if you watch the extra scenes, in one of those scenes my dad does talk about my mom and the war. So that’s a little different. When people first see the DVD they say, “Why weren’t these extras in the movie?” Everyone has said that about those ten extras. “Deleted scenes? What the fuck was he thinking?”
W: Yeah. Because the movie was only 80 minutes long.
R: And I don’t get that either. All he said to me, the whole year-and-a-half we were doing it, was, “I’ve got a goddamn mini-series.” So I asked him what was up with an hour-and-fifteen. And he said, “Well, we test-screened it, and that was the time that people seemed to like.” I said, “You’re an idiot.” It got critically-acclaimed and nominated for the Chicago Film Critics Award; it’s done very, very well around the world. So maybe he knew what he was talking about. But I still don’t get it. He could have made it an hour-and-45 without even thinking. He could have added those deleted scenes and added 20 minutes to it.
W: I mean, 80 minutes is shorter than a Disney film, for Christ’s sake. And it’s such an interesting topic. It’s not something that people come across every day. So it could have easily held someone’s interest for two hours.
R: I don’t get it. I don’t know why he did that. I’ll never understand it.
W: So, the feedback has been good?
R: Extremely good. But, again, one of the critiques was that they could have used a little less sex, and more of stuff like my mom.
W: So you would have liked to have seen more personal stuff about your life?
R: Yeah. Like more of Venice. Because people always ask me, “Who was that girl?” She’s not a ���� actress. She’s just a girl that I knew, and she’s been my best friend for many, many years. And she’s so attractive and articulate. Am I right?
W: Definitely.
R: Did you see that deleted scene at the end when she tells Scott, “There. That’s the real Ron Jeremy,” and I’m on the floor with the dog licking my face?
W: Yeah.
R: That’s damn funny, isn’t it? People love that scene. And again, why wasn’t that in the movie? Scott told me he loved that scene, and said he’d use it in an extra scene. But why didn’t he use it in the damn movie, and play it after the credits? It is a perfect scene to put in after the credits. He said, “It may belittle a lot of the scenes I shot before, because they’ll assume that every time I shot someone else, you were always in the back somewhere. And I don’t know if I want people to think that.” And I told him, “I don’t know. They might just think that it was just in this one case.” But people tend not to do that. Like, if I was always around eavesdropping, they tend to say nice things. And I understand that point, to some extent. So he made it an extra, and people find it very entertaining.
W: I just see it as a nice slice of reality.
R: Oh, yeah. It doesn’t get any more real than that. I’m laying on the floor and the dog is licking my face.
W: Right. And I like the other scene with Venice when you’re in the bathroom with her, and she’s telling you that you are narcoleptic.
R: (laughs) What does she say again? I forgot.
W: She was just insisting that you were narcoleptic, and you were telling her that you weren’t. You told her, “I’ve got a cure for what I have. It’s called sleep.”
R: (laughs) That was the scene in the bathroom, while she’s combing her hair?
W: Yeah.
R: That’s funny.
W: So, in the film you talk about how Viagra has totally changed the industry. Are you a fairly anti-Viagra spokesperson?
R: I wouldn’t say I’m anti-Viagra. I think it’s best to do it on your own. Although, I’ve represented a couple of products that are more natural, like ExtenZe and VigRX, and you can visit them at vigrx.com. That’s V-I-G-R-X. Better yet, a website I’d like to promote is vigisbig.com. I’ve seen that do the best. With Viagra, guys usually take too long to climax. It is the best known, of course. And ExtenZe did really well with that late-night infomercial I did. But VigRX, the new one coming out, is an amazing infomercial. And I’ve seen that work really well. It’s an oil that you rub on your scHydromaxeckle. And they’ve got one for girls, too, called VigRL. That’s spelled V-I-G-R-L.
W: Want to spell “scHydromaxeckle” for me?
R: (laughs) Use your imagination, you bastard.
W: (laughs)
R: Find me at scHydromaxeckle.com. (laughs) No. I’m kidding.
W: (laughs)
R: I wish I had one of those, actually. (laughs)
W: You should register that.
R: Ah, who cares?
W: (laughs)
R: Oh, you know what? My site, ronjeremy.com, is very funny right now. After the interview, check it out. You’ll laugh, because it’s me dressed up as that terrorist, because I look just like him.
W: (laughs)
R: All these TV shows made jokes about it: Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Kimmel. So we posed me like the guy, and we’re running a contest. It’s very funny. And my website has a whole bunch of celebrities on it. And it’s free. To look at all the celebrities, it’s free. You’ll see pictures of me with Brad Pitt, Nancy Sinatra, Jim Carrey, Lennox Lewis, and Robin Williams. And there are stories to go with it, so you’ll get a kick out of it. There are pictures of me as a young man, my first picture in Playgirl, me doing martial arts, and there is no membership. It’s all free. Now, if you want to see other things, like the X-rated stuff, then there’s a price.
W: Cool. So, you’ve been in the industry for nearly 27 years now. How is it different now from when you started?
R: Well, the girls have gotten more attractive, because we’re now attracting girls from all over the world. See, in the old days, strip clubs used to thumb their nose at the ���� star. But then they saw the money we were making. So people thought, “Well, I’ll go to California and I’ll do that.” So there has been this influx of dancers from all over the country. And they all came to L.A. to do scenes and work. And then they’d go back on the road as a featured dancer. So, eventually, almost every ���� star in the business today, is, was, or will be a dancer. And they’ll do appearances and make the real big bucks. Some of them can make up to $18,000 in a week. And they’ll work four weeks at a time. So figure that out. And then they’ll have websites. So, one way it’s changed is that the girls are becoming very, very wealthy. The average contract begins between $100,000 and $250,000 a year.
W: Wow.
R: Jenna Jameson has bragged that she’s socked $3 million away in six years. So, the business has changed in that aspect. Storylines have dropped, because it’s gone more video now. There’s a lot of pro-amateur now, which is the biggest selling stuff, I hate to say. I find it kind of boring myself. “So where are you from? What are your hobbies like? Will you do a little dance for us? That’s nice. Eat me.” They just don’t want to have to come up with dialogue.
W: Do you miss the storylines?
R: I miss them a little bit. But I’m under contract with Metro Studios and Metro Interactive, and they try to put in some storylines. And they’ve got their pro-amateurs as well, but I’m with a good company, and I’m very glad.
W: I think it shows in the documentary that you also take your non-���� acting very seriously. So, does it bother you that a lot of other people don’t?
R: No. I made a very funny comment in the documentary that sounds so dumb, but when actors see it, they say, “He’s actually right.” But it came across so damn corny, the way Scott shot me saying it in my car. I should have looked at the camera after I said it and gave a wink. But it’s really true, if you think about it. You know, they can make all the jokes they want. But let’s see Sir John Gielgud or Richard Burton do Shakespeare with a boner. Reciting a dialogue while maintaining an erection is not always that easy. And another corny comment I make is that Stanislavsky or Lee Strasberg, all those things they teach about the audience not being there, and very, very strong concentration, and how you don’t portray the character, you become it, well, Jesus Christ, ����� is one of the best examples of that. You can’t look at the camera man’s face, or the ceiling, or a light switch. Because you just have to look at that pretty girl’s face and only think that you’re with her alone, or else you’re never going to get a boner. Then again, now, with Viagra, who needs Shakespeare?
W: (laughs) That’s a quote.
R: Or who needs a soliloquy, you know? It’s just changed things. Back in the old days, they’d only use a handful of us guys. Myself, Randy West, Peter North, you know? You didn’t see a lot of us. So there were a handful, but we’d last for ten or 20 years. Nowadays, you’ll see a new guy every other month. Because now anybody can do it.
W: What’s harder: acting in films or �����?
R: Oh, of course ����� is much easier. That’s why I did it. I settled for it. I didn’t really choose it. Had I gotten more work in the mainstream, I never would have done it. But it’s a nightmare. It’s just very, very difficult.
W: Right. In the documentary, you talk about how you think of disgusting things while you’re fucking so you don’t come.
R: That’s a true story. I did an article on that once. I interviewed guys and asked them what they thought of to keep from letting go.
W: It was weird when I heard you say that, because it rings true for me--
R: Well, in real life, I don’t have to do that. In real life, you can just stop, pull it out, let it get cold--
W: And then put it back.
R: Right. Or use a finger or a mouth; something else. Or you can watch TV or a commercial break or something. Or, let it go. Let it go with a hand or oral, and you’ll last longer when you do the nookie. You’ll keep going.
W: Right.
R: Because the second time around, guys usually last longer. So, allow some time to go by, watch television, and then continue. There are a lot of different ways you can experiment about that.
W: See, I think about boring shit. Like curtains or bars of soap.
R: You have to. Like cleaning the yard, ex-wives, or family relatives.
W: Yeah. The most monotonous shit.
R: You know what I used to think about?
W: What?
R: (to his friend Natalie, that is in the room) Is that yours or mine? (pauses, to Wayne) You know, I never really believed in ghosts. Not in people being dead, and being able to see what you’re doing or know what you’re thinking. I don’t think they can. But if they could, could you imagine if they could run through your thoughts? And I’m thinking about them while I’m having sex to keep from coming? (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: Oh my God. (laughs) So if there are any ghosts of my relatives, they’re probably thinking, “You are a disgusting pig. We’ve got some surprises for you, Ron. We’re going to carve up your penis and serve it like a turkey dinner.” (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: I should put that in my comedy act. We just wrote a bit together, you and I.
W: There ya go. I’ll go on tour with you. We could tag-team.
R: (laughs) There ya go. We’ll tag-team one of my old relatives. (laughs)
W: (laughs)
R: Anyway, one of my old standard jokes was, if a guy comes anyway-- (pauses) Can you hold on one second please?
W: Sure.
[RON TALKS TO HIS FRIEND, NATALIE, THAT IS IN THE ROOM WITH HIM.]
R: (to Natalie) I’ll call for you. It’s no trouble. No. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it. (to Wayne) Hello?
W: Yeah.
R: Okay. So, the joke was, some guys think about a man’s behind to keep from coming. But that’s very, very dangerous. Because, if you think about that, and you climax anyway,...
W: (laughing)
R: It changes your entire way of life. It’s like Pavlov conditioning.
W: Because then you won’t be able to come without thinking of another guy’s ass.
R: Right. And then every time you think of a hairy behind-- “Oh God! Oh God! Ahhh!”
W: (laughing)
R: (laughs) Like you’re Pavlov’s dog in a skinner box. It’ll get you into a heap of trouble.
W: (laughs) That’s fucked up. Hey, real quick, I’ve got two people in the room here with me, and they’d like to say hello to you. Is that cool?
R: Sure.
W: Okay. One sec.
Debbie: Hey, Ron?
R: Hey there.
D: Hey. What’s going on? This is Debbie.
R: Hi. How are ya?
D: Pretty good. How are you doing?
R: Good.
D: Cool. I don’t really have anything to say.
R: Well, nice to meet you.
D: Nice to meet you, too. I’m a big fan of your work.
R: Thanks.
D: Sure. You know, there’s an even bigger fan of yours here that wants to say something, so hold on one second.
R: Okay.
Stella: Hello. This is Stella.
R: Hello there. You sound adorable.
S: Thanks. I brought over pizza for everyone here, and I wish you could come over and share, but--
R: What did you bring?
S: I brought pizza and salad over.
R: You should put it on the phone.
S: (laughs)
R: Where are you all located?
S: Columbus.
R: Columbus, Ohio?
S: Oh yeah.
R: I’ve done shows over there many times. What’s the name of the publication?
S: It’s tastes like chicken.
R: tastes like chicken. That’s funny.
S: Yeah. Well, thanks so much for talking to me.
R: Sure.
S: Here’s Wayne.
R: Okay.
W: Hey. Thanks for doing that.
R: My pleasure. So you guys are based in Columbus?
W: For right now. We’re moving soon.
R: Good. Here’s a joke for you. If you like chicken, and you like rooster, and you like duck, you’ll like what’s in my pants, because it’s foul.
W: (laughs)
R: (laughs) That should be your theme. Or, if you like birds, you’ll like what’s in Wayne’s pants, because it’s just a swallow.
W: (laughs)
R: Or, if you like fruit, you’ll like what’s in my pants, because it’s a peach. (laughs)
W: (laughs) I’m going to use those.
R: Good.
W: So, you knew John Holmes?
R: Yeah.
W: And someone told me you two had nicknames for each other.
R: Yeah. He used to call me “Little Dick”. He had me beat by about an inch-and-a-half. I’m about nine-and-three-quarters, and he was eleven something. So I’d say to him, “With you, John, it’s not sex. It’s a Pap Smear.”
W: (laughs)
R: I’d say, “You can enter the damn uterus, for God’s sake.” So, he called me “Little Dick”, and I’d call him “Pap Smear”.
W: Did you see the article in the newest Rolling Stone, about this kid with a huge dick that claims to be John’s illegitimate son?
R: Oh, I heard about that.
W: He’s 14 inches, supposedly.
R: He’s not that good-looking. It’s probably a bullshit story. It’s not John’s son. He’s my son, actually. (laughs)
W: (laughs) Okay. I’ve just got one more question for you. We ask everyone this.
R: Okay.
W: Do dogs have lips?
R: Do dogs have lips? Hmm. (pauses) One second.
[RON TALKS TO HIS FRIEND NATALIE.]
R: (to Natalie) Do dogs have lips? They do? Okay. (to Wayne) I asked my friend Natalie, and she says they do.
W: They do?
R: According to her, they do. And she’d know. Natalie knows everything.
W: Sounds good to me.
VISIT RON HERE.
PURCHASE ITEMS BY RON JEREMY
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