Hobgoblin

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#1
Afternoon fellas,

Just a few random thoughts here relating to motivation and expectations.

I've read through a lot of threads discussing the various reasons guys have for beginning P.E., and obviously most of them are sexual, ranging from "I want to be able to better please my partner" to "I want girls to scream in fear at the sight of my tool." But we all seem to agree that women who would base the decision of a sexual relationship only on size are scum of the earth and worth only a hate fuck, followed by being dropped off in the bad part of town.

We know that women have no concept of size, and most couldnt give an accurate measurement if you held a gun on them. So we hear them talk about their exes who are at least 8 if not 9 inches and want to go cower in the closet. Then, in a moment of clarity, we ask "how big do you think I am?"...the response? "about 8.5" lol...I'm 6.25. But back to the point. What do they want, if we are doing it for them? A friend of mine is just naturally hung. I've seen it during a 3way and would estimate its just over 9 inches and thick. Girls talk about it at length (pun intended) and they seem to line up to try him. BUT there are almost no repeat customers, from what I can gather because he has no technique, very little personality and is an egomaniac. Succinctly, he is a good looking, well hung, financially stable asshole who will be alone his entire life unless he grows up.

Some of us get it in our minds that our size is the be all and end all of sex, which can translate into relationships. Our inadequacies, real or perceived, chew at us constantly and can begin to damage current or potential relationships. Does it mean more to us than it does to women? In 90% of cases I would say absolutely. So we try to do something about it. But I think its important that we remember exactly why we are doing it. There are some guys who have started P.E. because of some humiliation they suffered at the hands of a cruel or thoughtless bitch. But its similiar to a woman's remark about your income level. Sure it hurts, but will you get another job or spend another ten years in school because of it? Those are worthy pursuits, but to do it for someone else for the wrong reason is unworthy.

ts eliot said that men go to war because women are watching. Yet how many women are hoping their man goes to the front lines? Its the perception of women's expectations that drives us to do these things, not the reality of what they desire.

Our insecurities are real, and simple rhetoric will never change them. I guess the whole point of this is that, at least for me, I have to remember that this is about me and not them. If I don't, the fear of not being able to measure up will spill into everything else and the relationship is doomed from the beginning.

I'm sure this is well travelled ground, just my two cents.

Hobogblin
 
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#3
Hobgoblin, you are a smart guy. Glad you are here. Your posts (all 2 of them) should be required reading.
 
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#4
I have to remember that this is about me and not them.
Exactly. All too often we tend to lose focus of who is getting the real benefit from our efforts. Through our endeavors we're exercising not only our will and determination, but also helping to ensure a healthy sex organ which will in turn provide a long and fulfilling sex life.

What you're doing should be for you and you alone. The extra stimulation that a woman gets because of your hard work and dedication is just an added bonus for her. This is, and always will be about us.
 

Hobgoblin

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#5
Thank you for the compliments and for making me feel welcome

I figure that we are all so different, with different reasons for doing this, but all having the same goal which is to make us better in some way than what we are. The cornerstone of human endeavor, lol not to get too corny.

Our experiences make us what we are, yet as children we first define our place in the world by looking at those around us, and of course by looking in the mirror. This forum is a rare place where we, by virtue of either comfort or anonymity, can actually be honest about the things that have troubled men since recorded history began. Face it, most guys sitting around a bar watching footbal are not going to touch these topics with a ten foot pole, or if they do, the lies will flow as freely as the booze. About the only place you get this kind of honesty is at a nighttime AA meeting.

I'm not too into the sensitive mode that men are supposed to have taken on the last couple of decades, and I'm about as politically incorrect as one can get, but I do think think that we discover more about ourselves by learning about others - which is why I've been running my mouth here.

Thanks again,

Hobgoblin
 
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#6
Hob, I believe you're going to fit right in here. We've got a great bunch of very intelligent people here who thoroughly enjoy helping out newer members . If you have any questions whatsoever, don't hesitate to ask as myself or someone else will be more then happy to assist to the best of our capabilities. This was a great post by the way. I can tell you put some thought into it, and I hope that it guides some of the newer members in the right direction. Keep up the great work.
 
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#7
Hob, very nice post. I, for one, know that I am doing this for me and only me. My gf told me that she doesn't like them too big, but I am still not happy with what I have. Selfish on my part, but in this arena, I suppose that's a good thing.
 
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#8
great post, and thank you everyone for putting up intelligent posts, it really makes this board what it is
 
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#9
yea, nice post. I can really tell you put some good thinking into it, and now all that is going through my head.
 

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