Question for the Married Guys


Nov 3, 2003
Just curious, but have any of you had swaps with other married couples or had like a four-some with another couple? I'm not talking just a threesome, but I mean dicking your friends wife while he's dicking yours?

I never have myself, but sometimes the thought seems appealing and I was wondering what kind of experiences you other guys have had and how you and your spouse liked it/didn't like it.

Yeah, I know, my wife tells me all the time, I'm a perv, but I figure I can't be the only one:)


Jul 18, 2003
Not me. I mean I'd do it in a heart beat, but I know even mentioning it to the spouse would cause major trouble.


Aug 5, 2003
OK Tex, I'm not married anymore, but I do hang out with these people often - so I do have a bit of observational experience. Since I bring a new girl every time, I am always invited!


Average married couples who are both curious can try this once without serious effects. I see many cases where the girl wants it and the guy goes along to make her happy or vice-versa. For a one time fantasy fulfillment it seems to work out fine. It gets ugly when they come back for more, as it always does a bad number on the ego of the spouse who is just there to make the other happy. I have watched them slide into very deep depressions, and some initiate very nasty divorces.

Couples that succeed at this long-term have VERY secure relationships. NO jealousy, they genuinely like each other and being together. They have a secure knowledge that no matter how many people their spouse plays with, they will always come home with them. If you don't have this kind of certainty, don't try more than one time.

Many of the girls who do this are not there for other men. They have lesbian fantasies, or desires. This usually suits the men just fine. Many couples enjoy getting together to watch the girls do it, and the guys participate with just their own spouse - during or after. Many times they will get a 2 girl BJ, but that is the extent of the males "outside" sex.

Some couples are only interested in sharing single girls (the three ways you mentioned). For many this is the holy grail of swinging, and single women swingers are really in demand. I have gotten invited to some really exclusive parties because I have a habit of bringing extra girls.

Setting ground rules BEFORE going, and sticking to them is a really good idea. A number of couples have agreements where getting or giving oral sex to others is fine, but penetration is not. Some couples agree it is OK to have sex with others as long as the spouse is present (I have seen more than a few new couples where the spouses hold hands the whole time they are getting screwed by others). I know of one couple that will do anything except anal - they save that for each other only. For these people, I think it is all about maintaining something private for each other that no one else but they as a couple share. Not until these lines are crossed is one thought of as "cheating". And boy howdy, is there a row when one person is caught crossing the line.

In short, unless you have a perfect marriage, swinging is a minefield if you do it more than once (maybe twice, but that could be pushing it). I would say if you love your wife and want to keep her, be very careful Tex.
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