OK i sorta have a situation with my gf...

nthrawl

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Joined
Jul 20, 2004
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17
Ok so heres the deal, about 6 weeks my GF told me she didnt want us to go out anymore because we hardly see each other and she she it feels like we're not even boyfriend and girlfriend. I told her i didn't want us to break up cause i really like her and she said well we hardly see each other (live about 15mile apart) and that there was no point in us continuing to go out. So we talked and she said she'd text me later. About an hour later she phoned me and said she didn;t want us to break up earlier and that she really liked me to and she was just confused.. so we got back together. Before the 'break up' we seen each other once, maybe twice a week. But we talked everyday. And after it we only had a week or maybe 2 i think before she was away on an irish speaking trip.

Now this past 2 1/2 weeks she's been away on an irish speaking trip with the school and her mobile phone has hardly got signal there so i couldnt phone her but sometimes she could send text messages, so we texted each other when we could. Before went we seen each other a lot and she was up in my house the saturday before she went, everything seemed brilliant between us. I phoned the on sunday night (she left on monday) and she was saying she'd miss me and try to phone and text if she could. And she also said im goin to tell my daddy about you but not yet cuase id be afraid of what he'd say. Her mum and sisters all know about me but she's afraid to tell her dad cause he is overprotective and all that.

So i thought everything was good between us and we texted a few messages each day.

About a week into her course i turn on my phone one morning and i get a message and she says she's been thinking and she's not happy. She said she wants us to go on a break because we dont see each other enough. She really cares about me and thatmaybe we can meet when she gets back. So i agree, what else could i do. I told her a really liked her and still wanted us to go out and all as well.

So we didnt text for about a week and then i texted her after the weekend to see how she was and if there family called up to visit that weekend because she sadi they might and i said i couldnt wait to see her.

She wrote back saying she couldnt wait to see me either but she doesnt thin kwe should get back together because she doesnt see us working out.

I near shit my pants, I really rally like her and i thought things were just starting to go well with us and now she says this.

So i said i was confused and didnt know how she could just say this out of nowhere.

And she said she felt like this before but thought it would work out but she just ended up feeling like this again and she said she's sorry she help how she feels. And she says again i dont think we should get back together casue she doesnt see it working out.

She's home next tuesday and she said she'd phone when she's home so we can talk about it.

I really really like her and want us to get back together. Everything was good with us before she went away and had 'time to think about things' as she said. I just feel like shit at the minute and dont know what to do.

My friends said we'd work it out and get back but she kept saying see doesnt see her changing her mind about this and all... :(

Suggestions?

Sorry about the long post i didnt realise.
 
Joined
Oct 11, 2003
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1,940
Ruff situation, the thing that is in my ears/eyes is that she met someone over there, and something might have happened. But well i don't really know, but it really sounds she try to get away from something. Long-distance relationships are tricky, but if two really loves each-other then there shouldn't be a problem. And it's hard to make a girl like you, let her take the time she needs, maybe you and her wheren't ment to be. From what i here you are still young, there are plenty of more chances and dont give up. I can garantuee you meet somebody as special, but dont look for a girl with the same personality(speciality) as here, because thats is like digging your own grave.

Hope more folks answer, i want everybody to feel good.
 
Joined
Jun 4, 2003
Messages
1,603
I can tell from yoor words that your heart is really hurting because you have feelings for this particular female and I feel for your bro.

This female is doing to you what all females do. The signs she is showing is that there is something about you that is not to her liking. This could be anything from not enough money to hair color to whatever. This is not your issue or your problem, it is hers, so don't make it your issue.

Another thing women do is hang on to a man while the search for the next relationship. This is a lack of security issue and she will be much obliged if you will play along and show her that you still want her until she is secure that the next man wants her. Of course when she is fully secure with the new male she will then turn completely away from you. The transition from the first to the second male results in a waffling back and forth while she makes her security decisions. You are a victim of this most common behavior and it is not your fault.

What should you do? Your heart says that you want her and you want her even more when she does not want you as much. The answer is very simple but painful: Show indifference and completely stop chasing her. Focus your attention on finding another female and don't be afraid to show her that you do not need her. What will she do? If she is secure enough with the other male she will turn her back on you. If she is not, she may start pursuing you.

How do I know this? I am an alpha male. A bad boy. I have never pursued women but they always pursue me because most women want an alpha male. Of course they ultimately both love and hate the alpha male traits. When I was 13 years old I tended to my tribes cattle on the res and I watched the animal behavior closely. I learned that the alpha bull got most of the pussy and the cows all held out for the dominate bulls. The sensitive little bull always was shunned. And the alpha bull was not really the biggest or the strongest....he had the attitude of the alpha bull.

I learned this and this set the way I dealt with females in my life and it has paid off in nailing some very hot women. I also think that my business success can be at least partially attributed to this alpha male attitude. I was the guy that no one wanted to tangle with in school. I was the guy that everyone wanted to choose first for sports activities at recess. I was the guy that everyone wanted to sit with at the lunch room table. I think you know where I am coming from.

Always be the alpha male but, always be respectful of women and treat them all with respect because the true alpha male loves them all.
 
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nthrawl

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Joined
Jul 20, 2004
Messages
17
GhosT_DoGG said:
Ruff situation, the thing that is in my ears/eyes is that she met someone over there, and something might have happened. But well i don't really know, but it really sounds she try to get away from something. Long-distance relationships are tricky, but if two really loves each-other then there shouldn't be a problem. And it's hard to make a girl like you, let her take the time she needs, maybe you and her wheren't ment to be. From what i here you are still young, there are plenty of more chances and dont give up. I can garantuee you meet somebody as special, but dont look for a girl with the same personality(speciality) as here, because thats is like digging your own grave.

Hope more folks answer, i want everybody to feel good.
Yea thats what i thought, that she had meet someone and something happened. Before she left i asked her if she wanted us to see other people when she was gone and id be ok about it, becasue this is her last year going on the trip and she has been like 4 or years in a row already and she said she didnt want to see other people only me. So when she said about wanting us to go on a break i asked her if it was becasue she'd met someone and she said no that she didnt want to go with anyone while she was away and there was no one she liked... but i cant help thinkin thats what it is... i'll most likely find out all on tuesday.

I dont know if i could do the alpha male thing, i dont excatly have girl lining up for me LOL
 
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Jun 4, 2003
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nthrawl said:
I dont know if i could do the alpha male thing, i dont excatly have girl lining up for me LOL
Look at what you just said. You must get the attitude and behaviors first and then they line up for you. It is the females instinct to want the alpha so you must become the alpha before they will want you. You can choose to be different.
 

mattlapp

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Oct 28, 2003
Messages
295
Nthrawl I say you wait on tuesday and see what happens. Hm about your situation I can't tell you any good news. When a lady begins to act this way then something definitely is not right and it is just a matter of time when the things start to crumble into dust. I had a relationship that was going very well but then after 2 years some shit started happening and we like broke up and then start again but it never goes back to the same way it was before. It can be that she likes another guy. Not exactly that she is seeing him but with girls it is enought that he is in her head. If she has somebody in the eye than she is on a real hunt and it is time for you to become alpha male the superhero LOL. Anyway good luck to you but always be prepared for the bad news.
 

Zurik

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2004
Messages
135
Word to Dashdeming. Your acting like a wuss, by accepting all that 2nd class behavior she's throwing at you. The next time she throws this "I'm confused and don't think we should be together" bullshit, just say something like "Yeah, i absolutely agree. I've been dating some great looking women lately, and i think it's pointless for us to beat a dead horse. How about we just stay friends?". Man, i know this sounds counter-intuitive but say that, and start dating other women, occasionaly don't answer her phone calls and be unavailable to her in general. And do yourself a favor and try to show as little emotion as possible and cut the negative talk, you're the man and women should be lining up for you just so that you can let them smile at you.
 

crazyed27

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Joined
Nov 25, 2003
Messages
2,623
Can anybody say Chemical Imbalance!

Man this woman is confused, don't let her confuse you too. I personally think that she has no idea what it is she wants in a relationship or even if she really wants a relationship. best thing to do, is go and talk to other girls. If she wants to fuck with your head, then fuck her, tell her you agree that you all should not be an item, but still be friends. then go and holla at as many women as you want. There are too many women in this world to be tripping off of one. You like her but hey man, trust me when you start talking to other girls you will find plenty that you like too!
 

gtsync

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Aug 11, 2004
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5
My girlfriend and I have been through instances exactly like this before, we've been together for about 3 years now. I know exactly how your feeling, because I have been in the exact situation and I know it hurts. My girlfriend did the exact same thing to me about a year ago and the best thing you can do is just give her space. From what I have experienced, girls hate to be smothered and bothered in situations like these. Try to find some way to keep it off your mind, and just give her the space she needs. Just let her know how you feel about her and then leave it at that, because it sounds like she wants some space. Other than that I am not sure of anything else, but this same situation happened to me and I took this advice from a friend and everything ended up working out great. Good luck.
 
Joined
Mar 14, 2004
Messages
802
Damn, the hoops you guys jump through for the pussy....
I got a headache just reading that.
 
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