ocd about left testicle

ghostman · Sep 1, 2013

Hi guys, I’m a new member here. I am 22 years old and need advice on a few issues, as I am in a very dark place. Firstly regarding the newbie routine my penis doesn’t seem to be reacting to it. I’m trying to master both the jelq and the v jelq, blood doesn’t seem to get to my glans. I find it hard to maintain an erection during it, in my head I am trying to keep count on the number of reps, focus on correct technique and keep myself aroused. This seems to lead to an unproductive session. In which there is no structure and my penis is a skinny flaccid state, not the plump thick flaccid which people describe. Any advice would be appreciated

Secondly, I have an issue regarding my left testicle. The testicle is around 2 inches in length (around 14-16ml) which I believe is underdeveloped either from a small left varicocele(0.33cm) or a retracted testicle during my teenage years. I have visited the urologist in regards to this, he believes the varicocele doesn’t need to be treated on, as the desired effect which I want the surgery to have will not take place( increase in testicle size). Does anyone have experience of this happening, I have read varying reports on the internet of it returning to size. I won’t get this procedure on the NhS, so it will have to be done privately. If this fails, I will try the testicle implants offered by Dr. Ellis, which in one sense sound risky judging from phalloboards, however I’m willing to risk it to lift these feelings of depression and suicide of me. My right testicle developed properly thankfully, which is around( 20-24)ml.

Thirdly, in regards to penis size my erect size is ok at 7x5 with smaller glans at around 4.4 inches(seem underdeveloped). I will try Penis Enlargement for the next few years but of all else fails pmma may be an option. My flaccid size is very skinny around 4.3x 3.8 inches. I believe from the small left testicle my testosterone levels have been effected. I rarely experience morning wood, I have low libido and a child like flaccid penis. Is there any way I can improve this, I’m waiting on test results back from my GP. Hopefully if low, I will be prescribed hcg over androgel as I hear it causes further testicular atrophy.

I experienced similar stress/anxiety throughout my teenage years, would the high amounts of cortisol effected my development in some way

Finally, in regards to my mental state, I believe I have OCD. I was firstly prescribed fluxotine(SSRI) but decided to come off them and attend cognitive behavioural therapy which is a work in progress. I have these constant negative thoughts every minute of the day, I haven’t any improvement in around 2 years mentally, I have attempted spiritual enlightenment, therapy and medication. I’m at my tether’s end wanting this to stop, I can’t see any option apart from surgery which will improve my life.

I understand a lot of this is statements, but any advice would be appreciated. I feel lost and depressed. Thanks
Im moving away to holland for a year today I dont want this body dysmorphia to ruin my year. I'm concerned leaving these psots on the forums is a compulsion from my bdd, and if pe and testicle massaging will keep the thoughts in my mind.

DLD · Sep 1, 2013

Very normal and I know this because my Son was having the same issue and I came to the Brotherhood with his concerns which were put to rest. In most cases this is normal and will remain as such, in others the mass may reduce over time, in rare cases it will increase in size where a doctor will be needed. The surgery that is done is in the office under a local. No pain,very quick to correct with no real threats in side effects.

ghostman · Sep 2, 2013

would you recommend gettin the varicocele treated on then? In regards to my other questions have you any advice. The ocd and bdd are really affecting my life, I cant get a comment out of my head said about my testicle by a friend. In regards to hcg and the testicle implants, are they a bad idea?

ghostman · Sep 2, 2013

Also would this varicocele/ high amounts of cortisol from bdd effected my potential size? I feel I didnt reach my potential size. My glans seem small possible due to lack of circulation. thanks

ghostman · Sep 3, 2013

knowledge from anyone would be appreciated? im in quite a dark place at the moment

DLD · Sep 3, 2013

ghostman;561556 said:
would you recommend gettin the varicocele treated on then? In regards to my other questions have you any advice. The ocd and bdd are really affecting my life, I cant get a comment out of my head said about my testicle by a friend. In regards to hcg and the testicle implants, are they a bad idea?

Not unless it starts to cause issues and continues to become enlarged. As I said, it is a very simple procedure to have done, it is all done with a needle in the office.

ghostman · Sep 3, 2013

thanks for the reply, though i was looking advice on the other questions i asked, I'm o n my tether's ned in regard to this for the last 6 months. It is in my head the last 6 months. Even if i needed surgery I would need £2000 which I don't have, im screwed

ghostman · Sep 5, 2013

I'm going to try and get some prozac from a gp in holland, I'm unsure if he'll give me it, along with some skype sessions with my cbt coach. I need to fix this, suicidal thoughts arent normal. Once I leave my room, I have to act normal and be happy, its actually quite remarkable how i hold myself together.
I'm starting to see that going on this website and every other is my compulsion, I want to get into pe and testicle jelqing as this may help my depression, though i fear it may be overkill and feeding my compulsion more.
I understand no one probably gives a fuck, but peace out anyways

AndroidR · Sep 5, 2013

Jelqs- Find out how many minutes it takes you to do 100 jelqs, then just go by minutes so you don't have to count. Counting in your head will hurt your EQ and decrease the expansion you get. You could look at girls, naked girls, watch soft ��, or normal �� if you chose to. Everyone is different on what they want to watch during their girth work, as some people think �� is wrong, or are worried about becoming desensitized. Just do what you are okay with. Whichever one you choose should help you maintain proper EQ. Also, you can try out Slow Squash Jelqs with your regular jelqs for more expansion. Just do a couple 30 second ones at first, and then slowly build up over time. These will help you with your expansion.

If you are wanting to increase head size, you can use a condom rim, a hair tie, or a light clamp and put it at the end of your shaft, just below the glans while you jelq. This will help engorge the glans and over time increase head size (slow process). If you have a hydropump, you can put one of those on as well while you're in the pump. Also, when you jelq, you can hold your jelq for 2-3 seconds at the top of the movement (just below the glans). This will help increase head size as well.

I don't have ocd so I'm not sure what to tell you other than if your testicle issue isn't harmful to your health, it's okay man. I know it's not to you, but it is. There's so much more to life than the size of your testicle. It's up to you to realize it though. Continue your therapy and use medication if you have to man. Be happy and enjoy life.

Zambrodom3 · Sep 5, 2013

Do not worry mate! Ghost, I am a 20 year old donkey (

) and have been having emotional disorders ever since I was a kid. I had some problems, you may say

. I had 2 emotional and mental problems- OCD and Hoarding. It was not very easy, but I did overcome them. It is a battle you must win. It is you, you and you only that is in control. Even if you go to all the therapies on the world you will still be the only thing that can change you. Stop obeying it. DLD told you himself and android as well. It is all fixable. You can become a sex machine in a matter of a few months (I could have said weeks, but I want to be as honest as possible). Even if you have these obsessive shit thoughts just pay no attention to them. Your mind has unlimited power and all you need to know is just use it. Cure yourself. What I can advise you is to have a meditation time where you induce the thoughts of well being and repeat that it is all going to be ok. Find a relaxing place and look deep in your mind, overcome it, realize that it is no longer bothering and that it is gone already! I am with you and I believe you can do it!

ghostman · Sep 6, 2013

thanks guys, my main problem is a comment someone said to me about the testicle, the fear from the thought controls my life. Im concerned as in my eyes there is no way to change it. testicle jelqing or pumping with a varicocele seems very unwise to me. I've considered the implants though dr elist seems like a butcher.

Any advice would be appreciated, cheers

GirthGains · Oct 4, 2013

hey the surgery with the needle would be your best bet by the sounds of it. If you do light testicle messages everyday 3 times a day and pulling the balls in every direction, should help a little. Also try to keep positive and believe what you are doing is working and that you couldn't be happier in life. There's also a option of putting on a cock ring behind the balls before sex which would probably hide it. But could be hard on the veins or even worse. another thing you can do is make half-fists where you hand isn't fully closed and hit each ball 25 times each day. Not hard were it hurts. Just hard enough to numb your balls a bit. this should help make your balls bigger. Im not no expert of course just some advice that I read over the net. cheers

DLD · Oct 4, 2013

GirthGains;565902 said:
hey the surgery with the needle would be your best bet by the sounds of it. If you do light testicle messages everyday 3 times a day and pulling the balls in every direction, should help a little. Also try to keep positive and believe what you are doing is working and that you couldn't be happier in life. There's also a option of putting on a cock ring behind the balls before sex which would probably hide it. But could be hard on the veins or even worse. another thing you can do is make half-fists where you hand isn't fully closed and hit each ball 25 times each day. Not hard were it hurts. Just hard enough to numb your balls a bit. this should help make your balls bigger. Im not no expert of course just some advice that I read over the net. cheers

Such a simple, easy, no threatening surgery with one of the lowest rates of side effects. It is a quick, painless procedure.

10InchPriority · Oct 4, 2013

ghostman;561482 said:
Hi guys, I’m a new member here. I am 22 years old and need advice on a few issues, as I am in a very dark place. Firstly regarding the newbie routine my penis doesn’t seem to be reacting to it. I’m trying to master both the jelq and the v jelq, blood doesn’t seem to get to my glans. I find it hard to maintain an erection during it, in my head I am trying to keep count on the number of reps, focus on correct technique and keep myself aroused. This seems to lead to an unproductive session. In which there is no structure and my penis is a skinny flaccid state, not the plump thick flaccid which people describe. Any advice would be appreciated

I advice you to use an extender for 8 hours a day for a year.

Secondly, I have an issue regarding my left testicle. The testicle is around 2 inches in length (around 14-16ml) which I believe is underdeveloped either from a small left varicocele(0.33cm) or a retracted testicle during my teenage years. I have visited the urologist in regards to this, he believes the varicocele doesn’t need to be treated on, as the desired effect which I want the surgery to have will not take place( increase in testicle size). Does anyone have experience of this happening, I have read varying reports on the internet of it returning to size. I won’t get this procedure on the NhS, so it will have to be done privately. If this fails, I will try the testicle implants offered by Dr. Ellis, which in one sense sound risky judging from phalloboards, however I’m willing to risk it to lift these feelings of depression and suicide of me. My right testicle developed properly thankfully, which is around( 20-24)ml.

Be happy that you have 2 testicles.There are people with only one or not at all.When you talk about testicle implants while you have 2 testicles, do you mean an implant that goes over yours left testicle or removing the testicle and replace it with an implant?Whatever it is I don't recommend it.Focus on getting your penis bigger which is easy when your starting size is already 7 inches length.When girls see your big penis they will not care about your small testicle.Put all these negative energy into motivation to getter a bigger penis , go lift weights if you don't already and get a sixpack, become more social person, make financial goals in your life.That will be much better.

Thirdly, in regards to penis size my erect size is ok at 7x5 with smaller glans at around 4.4 inches(seem underdeveloped). I will try Penis Enlargement for the next few years but of all else fails pmma may be an option. My flaccid size is very skinny around 4.3x 3.8 inches. I believe from the small left testicle my testosterone levels have been effected. I rarely experience morning wood, I have low libido and a child like flaccid penis. Is there any way I can improve this, I’m waiting on test results back from my GP. Hopefully if low, I will be prescribed hcg over androgel as I hear it causes further testicular atrophy.

Yes,taking testosterone ..especially testosterone injections will cause testicles become smaller.When your Lh is average or high then taking HCG will not work.Best thing to do then is taking both , the testosterone and HCG.This will prevent your testicles becomming smaller.If your Lh is on the low side then taking hcg will take care off everything and even give you bigger testicles and higher testosterone.

I experienced similar stress/anxiety throughout my teenage years, would the high amounts of cortisol effected my development in some way

Finally, in regards to my mental state, I believe I have OCD. I was firstly prescribed fluxotine(SSRI) but decided to come off them and attend cognitive behavioural therapy which is a work in progress. I have these constant negative thoughts every minute of the day, I haven’t any improvement in around 2 years mentally, I have attempted spiritual enlightenment, therapy and medication. I’m at my tether’s end wanting this to stop, I can’t see any option apart from surgery which will improve my life.

IN my opinion these pills will make everything worse and causing other important neurotransmitters like dopamine needed for concentration, being social comfortable,thinking,confidence,hormones control getting very low , making you gaining weight ,and only thinking about eating and sleeping and stiff and lower testosterone levels among many other hormones.Best thing to do is to observe your way of thinking and master your own thoughts and understand that your thoughts are not you..if you identify yourself with your thoughts you are in big trouble.Go find someone that work on getting insight in your way of thinking.

I understand a lot of this is statements, but any advice would be appreciated. I feel lost and depressed. Thanks
Im moving away to holland for a year today I dont want this body dysmorphia to ruin my year. I'm concerned leaving these psots on the forums is a compulsion from my bdd, and if pe and testicle massaging will keep the thoughts in my mind.

Why are you moving to the netherlands if I may ask?

Good luck

GirthGains · Oct 4, 2013

doublelongdaddy;565921 said:
Such a simple, easy, no threatening surgery with one of the lowest rates of side effects. It is a quick, painless procedure.

yes really sounds amazing I believe you 100% DLD, the doctors and technology are always advancing!

DLD · Oct 6, 2013

GirthGains;565954 said:
yes really sounds amazing I believe you 100% DLD, the doctors and technology are always advancing!

Only know this because my son (SONofDLD) had the same issue. I fret at first, as did he, but after careful research I found it to be something that it usually harmless but in the WORST CASE SCENARIO the simple needle procedure suffices.

10InchPriority · Oct 6, 2013

I think I was to fast with some of my replies.

On a second note ; If the Dr can see that you have defective valves/veins nearby the testicle causing the varicocele ,then probaly he can perform non invasive microsurgery.Take a second opinion and see what other dr's say.

Also I don't think that hcg will help your testicle size when using testosterone if your varicocele causing restricted bloodflow.So maybe taking care of the real problem which is causing the testicle atrophy and low testosterone is the best thing to do.

Also when you are using an extender make shure to padding the base of the extender by using cottons.Too much constant pressure on the scrotum/testicle will probaly be a bad idea when you have varicocele.

Solaris · Oct 7, 2013

Hey, I decided to chime in on this because well, to be quite honest I havn't met anyone my age who was dealing with same set of problems like I did. I have had the same anxiety like you have, except my right testicle never developed stayed the same as it is when your balls drop at the age of 13, and my dick size is something like 5x6 (with child like dick and small glans as you described) and on top of that I had quite bad acne problem just to compensate for your ocd

. I was frustrated as hell from the age of 14-21, it came to a point where I didn't want to hook-up with girls anymore because I was afraid I would have to tell them about my insecurities and it would make me "look" bad. Because of that, there was too much pressure/stress to have a successful sexual intercourse in the start of my girl hunting career which lead to me not wanting to have anything to do with girls from 18-21.
Than one day out of the fucking blue I said to myself fuck it, I am who I am and just went out partying having a good time/not giving a shit what will come. I met alot of girls, and eventually found a girl I felt I can trust enough to be with her and talk to her about my insecurities. It felt strange, she gave seriously like 0 fucks about it, but I felt so much better afterwards, it gave me a whole new motive to live by knowing that I am accepted as I am right now. During my depression times, I got alot of bad habits (smoking weed, masturbating 2+times a day) and am still feeling consequences about it, but it is soo much easier dealing with all this when the depression is gone for the most part, and suicidal thoughts are very rare nowdays.
This turned in kind of emo/crying about my life type of post, but I just wanted to present to you my side of a story, showing you the correlations between you and me (lol sounds gay). Anyway I would strongly advise you, just to go out in the world, find a new hobby/do whatever the f**k you want and party friday/saturday and try to find a girl that you trust and feel safe with (not the slutty bitches that f**k 4 guys in one night, but the kind of person you honestly feel connection with), and take your time with finding the right girl, as long as you search and try you will find her. You will be surprised how other people view your insecurities, and how delusional your mind can be in regards to other people's opinion about them.
Don't let your insecurities stop you from living your life and finding a girl, if you find one that can accept you with all the insecurities/problems you have now, the relationship only gets better by time because you know she loved and cared for you when you were all shitty and messed up, and know she is for real. And in regards to your balls, girls trully don't give a shit about them as 10inch guys said, and remember nobody is perfect.
Hopefully this post makes little sense, I havn't slept in quite a while so can't really think straight anymore, drop me a pm if you want to discuss it more over skype.

Take care and gl!

ghostman · Oct 7, 2013

thanks everyone for the replies,

1o inch priority : I will look into an extender, its between that an a Bathmate. The implants were an option ( an implant which goes around the testicle, looking at it from another perspective(calmer) it may be too dangerous. The testicle isn't like grape size just slightly below average I would say getting the surgery may be too much of a risk.
I am studying law on erasmus in Rotterdam. I have been reading 'The power of Now' which talks about ideas such as controlling your thinking. I focus so much in staying present, that I find it hard to feel normal. I will need to practice this concept.

DLD: Thank you very much for your reply, can I ask though why you focused on the varicocele topic of my post ? Do you think the embolization could fix this problem. The urologist believes its only a minor one in embolization will not fix the size. Do you think testicle jelqing or your massaging health routine may increase the size? I would really appreciate your advice on the mental side of things. I seem to have anxiety when my penis and sack turtles, just all round obsessive thinking towards this. I would really like your opinion on this. What are your thoughts on the Dr Elist implants?

Solaris: Thank you for your opinion, what was the disease you had? I really admire your approach I wish to one day wake up with the same feeling of accepting. Was there an large size difference between testes? Your size is 5x6? You sure that is right man, if so that girth is ultimate. Yeh if your free i'd appreciate a skype session, think some of your ideas could really help me mentally. peace

DLD · Oct 7, 2013

ghostman;566133 said:
DLD: Thank you very much for your reply, can I ask though why you focused on the varicocele topic of my post ? Do you think the embolization could fix this problem. The urologist believes its only a minor one in embolization will not fix the size. Do you think testicle jelqing or your massaging health routine may increase the size? I would really appreciate your advice on the mental side of things. I seem to have anxiety when my penis and sack turtles, just all round obsessive thinking towards this. I would really like your opinion on this. What are your thoughts on the Dr Elist implants?

No, I do not think pe will make issue worse, I think it is most likely at it's worst now that you are involved with pe, meaning, the intensity of pe is very high and if the problem is not becoming worse I would make the safe assumption that it will become no worse. But, if it does for some reason unknown to us, the procedure is always available and, again, it is like getting a flu shot that lasts 10 minutes

ocd about left testicle

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