DLD

doublelongdaddy
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As many know I struggle with OCD (Obsessive Compulsion Disorder) and BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disease). For those who don't know me or my story I am a long time P.E.er with decent gains and a decent sized penis. My problem is my SELF VIEW...I have allot of difficulty seeing my self as a person with a big penis...I also constantly compare myself to other people and even though my measurements are greater than some people I have a hard time seeing my penis as anything but small.

One particular problem I suffer with is Obsessive Checking, to the point that it can ruin my whole exercise session by taking focus off of my exercises and putting focus on proving my obsessions not true. This is a vicious cycle that leeds to repetitive interruptions and ultimately a poor workout. (penis not hard enough because of the continuous negative thought patterns, frustration, discouragement, etc.) I thought maybe it would be helpful to talk more on the subject so here goes.

Denying and defying OCD is most definitely the cornerstone therapy technique that allows you to live beyond the obsession(s) and gain ultimate control of your life. People often misunderstand what it means to "deny" an obsession. In practice, it means recognizing the existence of an intrusive/unwanted thought and simply leaving it alone, remaining indifferent to whatever the obsession is suggesting. There are other techniques that effectively work to desensitize your brain to obsessive thoughts, but you'll eventually reach a point where the following example serves you best:

Example: You're Jelqing and suddenly receive the intrusive thought of I think my penis is small. My first instinct is to freak out and start trying to convince myself I'm not small and then start referencing and comparing myself to previous thoughts or objects around me. I may even start measuring obsessively at this point . Unfortunately, such REASSURANCE only serves to feed OCD in the long run. I learned that the long and hard way, just as many others have. The most efficient technique, at this point in the example, is to recognize the obsession -- perhaps even laugh at it -- and simply LET IT BE. You heard me correctly! LET IT BE!!! Don't give a "yes" or "no" response to the thought. Instead, let OCD worry about itself. Simply ignore it and move on with whatever you'd like to be doing instead. Is it hard to do? Absolutely! It's UNCERTAINTY in it's finest hour. But you'll learn that uncertainty brings out the best in your WILL and FORTITUDE. Don't try to escape OCD. LET IT BE and keep going with the life you want to lead. It's a process called STARVATION. It works. In time, you'll see obsessions as simply false alarms and you'll be able to live beyond them automatically with much less effort.
I'm repeating myself from earlier summer posts, but I thought a refresher might be in order."

This is a sub-note on Obsessive Checking

"The key to correcting a checking obsession is to deny your brain's tendency to get stuck in a repeating cycle of doubt. I used to be the "master" of obsessive checking. And without the right understanding and proper techniques to disqualify the impulse to check repeatedly, I could very easily fall back into the trap.

In a nutshell, you tell your brain it's only got 1 chance to check. It's a "snooze, you lose" type of discipline. Take a deep breath, check the item with deliberate consciousness ... and move on. MOVE ON!! You brain will SCREAM for a repeat, but put your foot down. It takes practice and the courage to take reasonable risks. When you know you've only got 1 chance, you're alert and focused. You're at your best in that given situation. Be strong and calm. You can overcome. "

I hope this helps people
 
DLD - thanks for the post. Now that I fully understand what OCD is, I think I may have it slightly. Your post helped a lot! :)
 
Dario said:
DLD - thanks for the post. Now that I fully understand what OCD is, I think I may have it slightly. Your post helped a lot! :)

I think allot of guys will realize they share some of the same problems this is why mental growth is paramount in physical growth. One without the other is empty.
 
Thanks for the insight, DLD. I'm in the same boat as you with OCD. The one thing I've learned over the years is that the more you push against something, the harder it pushes right back at you. I've given up trying to stop the obsessiveness, and given up trying to figure out why I do it, where it comes from -- all that crap. It's a losing battle. "Let it be" is awesome advice. I've just recently totally accepted the fact that my brain works this way, that it's just part of who I am, and that it doesn't necessarily have to be a "bad" thing or something that ruins my life in any way. That kind of self-acceptance really can go a hell of a long way. I've been playing around lately with different ways of turning my obsessive tendencies and thoughts into "positive" things . . . kinda hard to explain but it's a great way to stop "pushing against" and start using all that mental energy (from the obsessions) in a more productive way. And it's actually working! :) WHOOOOOO!! (This all kinda reminds me of the martial arts philosophy . . . use your opponent's power against him, don't resist his force but yield to it...)
 
InDeep said:
Thanks for the insight, DLD. I'm in the same boat as you with OCD. The one thing I've learned over the years is that the more you push against something, the harder it pushes right back at you. I've given up trying to stop the obsessiveness, and given up trying to figure out why I do it, where it comes from -- all that crap. It's a losing battle. "Let it be" is awesome advice. I've just recently totally accepted the fact that my brain works this way, that it's just part of who I am, and that it doesn't necessarily have to be a "bad" thing or something that ruins my life in any way. That kind of self-acceptance really can go a hell of a long way. I've been playing around lately with different ways of turning my obsessive tendencies and thoughts into "positive" things . . . kinda hard to explain but it's a great way to stop "pushing against" and start using all that mental energy (from the obsessions) in a more productive way. And it's actually working! :) WHOOOOOO!! (This all kinda reminds me of the martial arts philosophy . . . use your opponent's power against him, don't resist his force but yield to it...)


Very true! OCD is like a skip on a CD that will continuously repeat, the more we listen, the louder it gets. The best way to stop a CD from skipping is to bump the player, in this case our brain. Allowing ourself to compulse once and move on is good practice and sometimes an important bump to the player. If this does not work and we continue to compulse it only reinforces the original fear and the next time that skip shows up it becomes more deeply grooved. When the, proverbial, door to our brain is left open sometimes accepting it and moving on is the best way to close it. Here is an example; I am driving down the street and I feel a bump on the road. Seconds later I imagine I just hit someone. The thoughts continue to manifest. I want to desperately turn around and check. I pull the car over to the side of the road and continue to have awful thoughts about what I may have done and the consequences. I turn the car around and check the area I think I may have hit the person and I see nothing. NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT. If I can just accept that I did not do this and move on I am actually practicing good therapy for an OC. If I drive off and allow the thought to re-manifest and check again I am reinforcing the fear. Each consecutive time we repeat this cycle, which for some could go on for hours and even days, the fear gains more and more validity. Aversion therapy, one of the most recognized affective therapies for Classic OCD, states facing the fear once and moving on no matter how much we want to turn back. This process may feel fake and alien and in some case almost impossible but if we continuously practice it we will get stronger.

In my case OCD will always be a battle in my life but if I follow my own advice I can live a semi-normal, happy life.
 
That's great advice, DLD, I had never thought of things in that way before.

I have a question, though. You said:

In my case OCD will always be a battle in my life but if I follow my own advice I can live a semi-normal, happy life.
Do you ever allow yourself to think that you can go beyond semi-normal, to a glorious life full of joy and having everything you could possibly ever imagine, and even more? A life where you live without limits? A life where you continually find new things to be amazed by and fill you with life and energy? I truly do believe that kind of life is possible, for everyone, and especially for someone like yourself who is obviously smart, resourceful, talented, and has a big heart. Most of us spend all our lives living within the narrow, circumscribed confines of our own self-imposed "limitations". It is when we allow ourselves to go beyond those limitations and begin to see them for what they really are -- illusions put in place by our crafty, frightened little egos to keep us stuck and relatively "safe" in this "big bad world" -- that our lives begin to take the shape that we really want them to. And we can all SOAR . . .

One of my favorite quotes is from Michelangelo, and it goes (paraphrasing): "The greater danger, for most of us, is not that we set our aim too high, and we miss it, but that we set it too low, and reach it." And it is so true, isn't it? Too often we "settle" for less than what we want because we don't believe it's possible for us to have what we really DO want. We say "Oh, that's not possible for me...maybe for THEM, but not me." Or "This is just the way things ARE. My life was apparently meant to be this way. I just have to accept it and move on." And so on... And I don't believe that that is true at all. We create our reality, our world...every bit of it. Most people don't realize that, and we are just so accustomed to living the status quo, and focusing on "what is" (our current life circumstances), rather than on what we really want out of life.

I have finally, over the past few months, started to truly believe in the truth of what I have written here, and my life improves by the minute as a result. Maybe this sounds like pseudo-philosophical, metaphysical crap to some, but I believe it to be true to the core of my being and I have seen changes in my life, and my perspective, that I never would have thought possible.

Be well,
- Indy
 
InDeep said:
That's great advice, DLD, I had never thought of things in that way before.

I have a question, though. You said:


Do you ever allow yourself to think that you can go beyond semi-normal, to a glorious life full of joy and having everything you could possibly ever imagine, and even more? A life where you live without limits? A life where you continually find new things to be amazed by and fill you with life and energy? I truly do believe that kind of life is possible, for everyone, and especially for someone like yourself who is obviously smart, resourceful, talented, and has a big heart. Most of us spend all our lives living within the narrow, circumscribed confines of our own self-imposed "limitations". It is when we allow ourselves to go beyond those limitations and begin to see them for what they really are -- illusions put in place by our crafty, frightened little egos to keep us stuck and relatively "safe" in this "big bad world" -- that our lives begin to take the shape that we really want them to. And we can all SOAR . . .

One of my favorite quotes is from Michelangelo, and it goes (paraphrasing): "The greater danger, for most of us, is not that we set our aim too high, and we miss it, but that we set it too low, and reach it." And it is so true, isn't it? Too often we "settle" for less than what we want because we don't believe it's possible for us to have what we really DO want. We say "Oh, that's not possible for me...maybe for THEM, but not me." Or "This is just the way things ARE. My life was apparently meant to be this way. I just have to accept it and move on." And so on... And I don't believe that that is true at all. We create our reality, our world...every bit of it. Most people don't realize that, and we are just so accustomed to living the status quo, and focusing on "what is" (our current life circumstances), rather than on what we really want out of life.

I have finally, over the past few months, started to truly believe in the truth of what I have written here, and my life improves by the minute as a result. Maybe this sounds like pseudo-philosophical, metaphysical crap to some, but I believe it to be true to the core of my being and I have seen changes in my life, and my perspective, that I never would have thought possible.

Be well,
- Indy

Excellent post Indeep! Sorry I missed it. I agree with what you are saying and I know my own worst enemy is myself. I can tell you my life is so much better then it was 3 short years ago but I have a long way to go. The funny thing is at one point in my life I embodied your post. I was the guy who took risks, did things on the spur of the moment, lived to the fullest, etc. Unfortunately OCD can be crippling and if it is left to manifest itself, as I allowed, things get bad very quickly. I make a daily effort to battle this disorder and with my baby steps I am getting better with each day. As a matter of fact tonight I am going to the fireworks. This is something I could not have done months ago. Am I scared? Yes, but this is the type of risks I need to take to get my life back.
 
InDeep said:
"The greater danger, for most of us, is not that we set our aim too high, and we miss it, but that we set it too low, and reach it."

I was going to bump this for the cats asking about OCD then I reread this quote and I really wanted everyone to read it.
 
badtacco said:
LOL! I have that problem as well since I was younger when kids were making fun of me because "asians have small dicks" so I started stretching it because I remember my grandmother (who is an RN registered nurse) told my brother if he kept on pulling his ears they would stretch and get bigger permanently. I took this seriously and now I KNOW that stretching works and lots of men out there are liars. Im also very gullable to believe some of my friends claims then realizing that I recieved most gullable for class of 2004 senior year I started to not take things so seriously like I did and do actuall research. Now I stand here "hung low" realizing that I'm a lot bigger than all my friends. I actually showed them this website and they all knew that they were lying except for one of my buddies that did the same thing as I did when I was younger (stretching) who actually backed me up on the facts. He too knew about this website.

Excellent info! I pulled on the dick too growing up:)
 
Wonderful insights into the disorder, DLD.

Yeah, I couldn't leave mine alone either. Guess I still can't. HE, HE, HE.


:blush:
 
I guess I used to have this, I used to swear my dick was big because I could put 3 hands on it, and then I realize it was cause my hands was smaller than it is now lol. Then I look at it flaccid and think how the hell am I 7 inches, then when I'm hard i thinking I'm freakin 5 inches. Then I try to workout it looks like its huge and I'm hyped again then I go through the same cycle. I'm starting to just stop worrying and just do the workouts.
 
ak89 said:
I guess I used to have this, I used to swear my dick was big because I could put 3 hands on it, and then I realize it was cause my hands was smaller than it is now lol. Then I look at it flaccid and think how the hell am I 7 inches, then when I'm hard i thinking I'm freakin 5 inches. Then I try to workout it looks like its huge and I'm hyped again then I go through the same cycle. I'm starting to just stop worrying and just do the workouts.


The illusions are deep rooted and just as they took time to become instilled in us they will take time to fade. The gradual and persistent cognitive efforts of positive thoughts will free us from a stigma of years of illusion. This forum and the relationship we have with one another, relationships that are free of homophobia or any other stigmatic oppression, have become a safe refuge to share these insecurities, relate with one another and make strides in changing these issues. Every time we share an insecurity here we can count on an empathetic response from our fellow members and this in itself brings incredible comfort but when we take steps to change these problems the real miracle emerges.
 
Good thread for the change of seasons.
 
I will never get over this, but i guess I have pretty much learned to live with it. I just measured at 8.5" BP and the NBP varies anywhere from 7.25-7.75. My girth is finally solidly over 5". So statistically I am very long and comfortably at least average and probably above median girth. Yet no matter how I look at it, my dick is small. And what's weird is it looks short to me and actually kinda wide. When in reality it is long and on the skinnier side.

I look at and analyze the huge ���� dicks and realize more and more that many of them are not any bigger than I am, at least in length. I know what the ruler says. I know hand sizes,etc. So I just have to tell myself what reality is, and it's not what I'm really seeing. I KNOW what I am, and it is what it is.
 
jekyllnhyde360;355654 said:
i also have ocd , and it freggin' blows!!! i hate it.

Don't hate it, it is a part of you. Make it work for you, take advantage of the parts of OCD that are beneficial.
 
OCD is a killer, please read through this thread to help with obsessive thinking!
 
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