daironmonk;726886 said:
Not sure where to start. Ive lost a son, my father and my job. I've gained about 100 pounds, on medication for anxiety depression and high blood pressure. I need to be strong for my family but its not easy. Been talking to a therapist to unload the weight on my shoulders but its not helping. Some-days I don't want to get out of bed others not sure if I want to be alive. I look in the mirror and I don't even recognize myself. I'm tired. Needed to vent.
I can relate on many levels and it took me many years to get this under control. First let me say, God bless you and the struggles you have dealt with, you are pressing on where many would give up. Loosing your Son? That is a tragedy beyond any, a parent should never outlive their child. I lost my Father also and this was a very difficult thing to get through too and gaining all that weight is expected! The medication, the depression, the lack of motivation, etc. I also understand not knowing the man in the mirror and this, in a way, is a good thing. After what you have gone through I would not want to recognize him! I can give you advice based on my own experience and I hope it helps and does not insult.
I suffered with these issues since 1994. I have spent much of the time over these 23 years in the hospital trying to deal with extreme depression and constant suicidal tendencies. I have been diagnosed with everything under the Son and I have taken every possible combination of medications to help. None of this helped, nothing changed for me until I made a very special relationship with Jesus. It is hard to describe but in my dedication to the Passion of Jesus I have leaned to shadow my problems with His sufferings. This has not only helped me make sense of this but also give me tools to deal with it. Strange, for most of the years I heard so many voices in my head until I found Christ and now His voice has replaced the many that were there taunting me for years. I am not a church goer, I have no religious denomination, I simply love Jesus and in this I have received many graces in my sufferings. Jesus is a very cool guy, He is much like us here, in the Brotherhood, He loves you and wants to help you. I would approach Him as you would a buddy because that is what He is, your buddy who will be there for you and get you to and through this and into a new man.
You will also receive much support from your Brothers here who will direct you through experience and love. We truly are an all accepting family and our main goal is always to help our Brothers no matter what the issue. You would think a PE site would not dive into such issues but I knew early on in my PE that my penis was not my problem, my problem was me. The Brotherhood has helped me admit the truth, disclose my personal problems and receive help, love and support. We want you to be happy and we will do what every it takes to get you there.
Lastly, are you on any medication for psychological reasons?
If I can get better anyone can! I give much of the credit to my getting better to first God, than my Family and Brotherhood. With the 3 supports in my life I am always good, 'in the moment'
