I'm concerned about this date

penguinsfan

Active member
Wow, this is strange. I swore I wouldn't ask out a coworker again. But if I write the rules, I suppose I'm free to amend them at will. So, I did it Thursday night and we're supposed to play golf in a few hours (Sunday afternoon). Long story short: Through conversation I found out she likes to golf.

She has an unusual personality in the sense that I don't think she is really shy in a timid manner, but just chooses not to talk much and interact with people. I've got to get some sleep and can't explain it all right now, but I'm a little concerned she might cancel out on me. This is the first possible shot I've had at a REAL HOTTIE in a long time. So, you guys wish me luck and I'll have something to report tomorrow.

*worrying sick*
 

MCTFB

Member
A lot of hotties love to golf because at golf tournaments they know that is where the can gold dig for rich husbands. I don't think I could ever date a gal who likes golf for this one simple fact in that I have a hard time understanding how anyone could enjoy hitting a ball and then chasing it around for hours while driving a little golf cart around all day. It just seems like the biggest waste of time ever to me, but I guess golf just is not my kind of game, especially since there is no physical contact or athletic movement. It is kind of the last bastion of sport for guys with no athletic talent.

Oh yeah, and when I look at a golf course I see the potential for having like 50 soccer fields or more in all that wasted space with a bunch of baseball diamonds and basketball courts to boot.

But seriously, I agree with George Carlin on this one in that we should just seize all golf courses by public domain and convert them all into low-income housing for the poor (-:

Anyways, as far as women are concerned, golf is for gold diggers period.
 

TimBo755

Member
It is kind of the last bastion of sport for guys with no athletic talent.
Dude, your mistaking golf for bowling.. I think golf is a sweet sport, well in Highschool you aren't able to use the carts, you have to lug your bag around..have you ever played 18 holes with a 40-50lb bag on your back in 90 degree weather? but anyway im off topic.

Just play it cool penguinsfan, you'll be alright, im sure if this girl isn't the one that its not the last one.. just got to stop worrying bro. See what else she is interested in, talk about your interests...you may have more in common than you think.
 

MCTFB

Member
TimBo755 said:
Dude, your mistaking golf for bowling.. I think golf is a sweet sport, well in Highschool you aren't able to use the carts, you have to lug your bag around..have you ever played 18 holes with a 40-50lb bag on your back in 90 degree weather? but anyway im off topic.
OK, yah maybe people who play golf who love it as a sport and actually carry their own clubs. But the few country clubs I have been to, pretty much everyone seems to be driving around a cart. Yah public golf course might be a bit different, but anyways I guess I am biased against golf because even though it is no more or less a snob sport than soccer or basketball or any sport, it is a sport which attracts a high percentage of snobs. And needless to say, I don't like snobs.

Nevertheless, dude sorry if I insulted your sport. I was only half serious about all of that in the first place (-:
 

penguinsfan

Active member
Well, I called her at 2:30 and left a message. Called her at 3:30 and she didn't answer. She called me around 4:00 and said she just woke-up and she wasn't feeling good and wouldn't be able to make it.
 
penguinsfan said:
Well, I called her at 2:30 and left a message. Called her at 3:30 and she didn't answer. She called me around 4:00 and said she just woke-up and she wasn't feeling good and wouldn't be able to make it.

She may not be up for "dipping her pen in the company ink".
 

Zurik

Member
Man, i think you acting too desperate here and that desperation probably scared her off. What you should have done is said "Fine. But the next time you decide to feel sick , cancel the arrangment atleast a day in advance, so i can meet up with someone else." Say that in a cool indifferent voice and hang up without leting her answer. One way or another you are self-programming yourself for failure. Never think that a woman rejects you. If she says no, than you just find out that she has bad taste. There are a lot of fish in the ocean.
 

penguinsfan

Active member
Zurik said:
Man, i think you acting too desperate here and that desperation probably scared her off. What you should have done is said "Fine. But the next time you decide to feel sick , cancel the arrangment atleast a day in advance, so i can meet up with someone else." Say that in a cool indifferent voice and hang up without leting her answer. One way or another you are self-programming yourself for failure. Never think that a woman rejects you. If she says no, than you just find out that she has bad taste. There are a lot of fish in the ocean.
Well, I think I played it cool enough in front of her. Yes, I really wanted this date, but I don't think I showed "stalker level" of interest in her. In fact, my two close guy friends at work have advised me to be more aggressive.
 

penguinsfan

Active member
Update

Last Monday, I sensed a little nervousness around her. She never mentioned anything more about the date, though that may just be her unusual personality. We didn't really talk much beyond saying hello. It was a little uncomfortable to me. Some of it might have been me too, because I decided to cut carbs out of my diet on Monday, which give me unpleasant side effects and makes me a cranky SOB. Her and three other workers were sent home on Wednesday night, until tomorrow because of a lack of work in their department.

Thursday night I called her on my break. We talked for about 6-7 minutes. I told her I sensed a little uneasiness between us and said part of it might be me. I explained that I have no way of knowing her circumstances last weekend, but had some concern that she changed her mind. Referring to a previous conversation we had, I explained that I sensed some common interest and enjoyed talking with her, but acknowledged I took a wild stab when I asked her out and might have caught her by surprise. I said I would love to reschedule if she was still interested in going out, but that I completely understood if she changed her mind and expressed interest in maintaining a friendship.

Her response to all of this was a claim that she had been out all night on Saturday night, then woke-up on Sunday and found she had to be somewhere that night. During a 90 minute conversation we had one night after work, she had told me that she did not have a boyfriend right now, but had a good friendship with a guy she used to see on-and-off. According to our phone conversation, she said they were arguing and that had her a little upset last week. She said she would still like to go out and do something, though she said that both of our schedules are hectic and it's tough to nail something down last minute like last weekend. From what I overheard from another conversation, I think maybe this old boyfriend/current friend might be moving on to someone else and treating her a little shitty, compared to how things had been.

I told her I figured her weekend was filled at that point and she said the only time she might have free was Sunday afternoon (today), but that she had something going on in the evening. I told her I was very busy on Satuday and had things I really should be doing Sunday (which I'm not really sticking to, as usual). I said I would try to call her on Saturday night, just to see how her weekend was, if I could, but that we would talk Monday if I didn't get to. Of course, I didn't call and had no intention of calling, as I want to seem interested, but not overly interested.

I don't know what to think for sure. She sounded like she would still go out, though she didn't sound overly excited, nor reserved about it either. This girl is not overly dynamic in her personality. She kind of reeks of boredom, though I found so many common interests. I gave her every opportunity to back-out during our phone conversation. I opened that door at least twice. So, I assume she'll go out. Nevertheless, I'm not counting on anything here. What I plan is to see if she wants to go have a drink after work within the next couple nights and hope for some good conversation. If that works out, I'll see if she wants to rollerblade or ice skate this weekend during the afternoon. That way I'm not intruding on her Saturday or Sunday night when we initially spend some time together. If this doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out.
 

penguinsfan

Active member
I hope so too, but I'm not banking on anything.

This girl makes me think of the Sopranos episode a couple weeks back. I can see myself as Chris when I look in the mirror, with Tony giving me the speech about how I'm average at best and this girl's a knockout, a 10. I felt nervous immediately because she is out of my league.

We have so much in common by our common interests in diet/exercise, nutrition, yoga and massage, as well as martial arts. She has a dynamite body, whereas I work my ass off in my quest for fitness and make very slow progress. I am still about 50 lbs. over my ideal weight range. She also seemed to take a genuine interest in what I am wanting to do with my life and seemed encouraging/accepting of some of my shortcomings and temporary setbacks. It was the first time in some time that I felt like a woman REALLY understood me, regardless of what opinion of me she ultimately ends up forming.
 

Zurik

Member
"I felt nervous immediately because she is out of my league" See, there you go with programming yourself for failure. Always speak positivly to and about yourself. Even when trying to solve a problem, don't think "what am i doing wrong", think "What can i do to make it even better". And what the hell are you doing talking to women about what you want to do in life and youre setbacks(Women don't want a guy with any kind of setback. Period.) The less she knows about you the better. But seriously man, i think you scared this one off, the next thing you know , you'll be stupid enough to say that you love her(which you should NEVER do), and she will obviously respond with the good old "Oh. I just want to be friends."
 
PenguinsFan I wish you the absolute world of luck with this girl, but the sheer amount of chasing you are doing makes me think its not going to work out. To be honest, you sound like too good a guy for this chick, who clearly doesnt know what the hell she wants but is happy to keep you hanging on while she figures it out.
 

penguinsfan

Active member
We'll see how she responds to my invitation for an afterwork drink tonight, which should give me some read. I got a two new tattoos this weekend, which will give us conversation tonight, as she is into them somewhat.
 

MCTFB

Member
penguinsfan said:
Update

Her response to all of this was a claim that she had been out all night on Saturday night, then woke-up on Sunday and found she had to be somewhere that night. During a 90 minute conversation we had one night after work, she had told me that she did not have a boyfriend right now, but had a good friendship with a guy she used to see on-and-off. According to our phone conversation, she said they were arguing and that had her a little upset last week. She said she would still like to go out and do something, though she said that both of our schedules are hectic and it's tough to nail something down last minute like last weekend. From what I overheard from another conversation, I think maybe this old boyfriend/current friend might be moving on to someone else and treating her a little shitty, compared to how things had been.
Haha, I have met a few women like this and it sounds like she is a ladder climber all the way. She is just keeping you around as a plan B in case plan A does not work out and frankly you should respect yourself more than that to put up with being "second-best".

Her first choice just does not want to commit to her and wants to be with another gal and yet she puts up with it. I mean, this guy is a "friend" who she sees on and off whatever that means. Maybe they are fuck buddy's but do you want to get involved with a girl who keeps a guy like this around as a friend?

Seriously, the way you are talking about "oooooooooohhhhhhhhh we have so much in common, we click so well" is really your dick just talking since you say she is a 10. Also, very, very, very rarely are you ever going to run into a 10 who is down-to-earth and not just looking at your bank account. If she is indeed a 10, well then she obviously knows it and she knows she can ring just about any guy along if she wants. I mean, she might sleep with you (like her old fuck buddy friend) but I would not count on any long-term stable relationship here.

So my point is, if she really liked you, she would have made time for you. Unless there was a death in the family or a wedding to attend she probably did not "have to be" somewhere on a Saturday night and is just trying to act busy like a lot of women do when they are unsure of what they want to do and are just looking to string guys along who they test to see if they can have these kind of guys feeding out of the palm of their hand.

Move on. If she really wants you, then she can make the move at a later time. You already made a date with her and she basicly stood you up, so if she doesn't want to make it up to you, then well it was probably best you never went out with her in the first place.
 

Members online

Top