I'M A LOSER, it's finally hit me.

Lately I've been thinking, thinking a lot about me, my life and who I am.

I'm nearly 21 years old and I have finally realised that what I am missing in my life and that I am basically a loser...all of my friends have had some sort of meaningful relationship with a girl and have been happy, but me...no, nothing. I've dated girls but every time I think that someone is attracted to me and could be interested in me I get hurt. I've built up some confidence with females over the last couple of years, but that confidence I have built Is just false. Whenever I think I meet a seemingly nice girl that I think might like me, they just turn out to be a neurotic attention seeker that treats me as a confidence boost and drop me like I don't matter.

I don't know how I can go forward and try to meet girls because I'm clearly not good looking like friends say, how am I? I don't get a second glance from girls, 0 likes on any pictures, 0 matches on tinder, 0 responses to messages.

I hate feeling like this but I'm running out of fight....can anyone of the brothers please help?

I can help, but I don't think you're going to like it...

Channel all of this energy (negative and positive) into yourself, your career, your body...make yourself into an educated, interesting person that people (not just women, but everyone) flock to and want to be around. Positive energy attracts, negative energy repels. Find something that you love to do and are good at...make that your 'why'.

Stop chasing that elusive 'one' and start attracting that wonderful 'many'. Make yourself into something.

And don't get married to the first woman who has sex with you...furthermore, don't get married until you're well on your way to fulfilling your dream(s)

Gonna add something else....

Desperation is a bad, smelly cologne.

If women can sense that you're desperate you're either going to repel them or attract the ones who's perfume matches your scent. That, my friend, spells D I S A S T E R.

I've had the most fun with women when I wasn't looking for anything serious or trying to force something to happen. I've chased off a few from trying too hard (although I'm glad I did because looking back their level of interest would NEVER have matched mine and I would've eventually gotten hurt). I'm not saying to make yourself unavailable to where you push them off. You can still let women know you're interested in them, lob the ball into their court, and see if they hit it back.

Find and do activities you enjoy. At the very least you'll eventually get some dates with women into the same things you are and that's a great start. Might even turn into a series of short relationships.

Most important is to have fun. We've all seen some really ugly ass guys hooking up with good looking women. It's simply because they have the right personality to draw women in. You can be Mr GQ who the women stare at but if you look unapproachable they're just going to look and that's it. You can look like the Elephant Man but if you're having fun, look confident, and everyone can tell you're enjoying life you will attract women.

Most importantly - you're only 21! Even if you started masturbating really early (I started at 12) you've only been sexually active with yourself for less than a decade and way less than that with others. You're a rookie! You're in Single A or AA ball clubs. You can still have lots of fun there but you'll eventually move up to AAA and the Majors with the right effort (I really hope you know a little baseball or the reference is gonna be lost on you ).

Lots of solid advise in these replies!

"I'M A LOSER, it's finally hit me."

The most word that proceeds "I AM" is what the mind defines us by.

"I am a winner" - "I am a loser" one feels good and the other feels bad.

This is very simple and agrees with what has already been said but understand that the most powerful two words in us is "I AM"...these are the two words our Lord defined Himself by "I AM" It may feel fake at first or even like a lie, but that is only because the negativity wants to keep you hostage. The best way to defy the negativity is with a out loud yell of "I AM GOOD" "I AM WORTHY" "I AM LOVED" "I AM VALUABLE" "I AM A CHILD OF GOD" "I AM SPECIAL" "I AM A WINNER"

Do this over and over, make it your mantra. Eventually you will curb the negative thoughts with positive. Being in a positive state allows us to see ourselves as worthy and good. You can also pray for help in this also as there is a GOD who loves you so much and wants to help you in every way.

Any man that is here is a Brother and if you are a Brother there is no way for you to be a loser. Brothers win, we do not know want loosing means.,,You are a Brother!

You can always become a better man. You can lift weights and become stronger. You can read more and become wiswe. You can take up new productive hobbies and, become more learned.

With positive energy andand effort there is always a new and better you looking forward to tomorrow. Start with the small things, dress better, speak more eloquently and carry yourself like a man.

It's okay to be a loser, just lose the right things.

Lose weight
lose negativity
lose the monkey on your back
lose bad habits
Lose people that are dragging you down

You can be a loser in a good way or a bad way.

When I was around your age I went through a period of depression. The few close friends I had disappeared from my life completely and I was pretty much alone. After a while I learned how to be content and then even into happiness just going to work, doing a few things by myself here and there, and going home okay with my day instead of being miserable. I started to learn some independence (even though I was still living at home....I said some not full independence lol) and it felt good. Even little things like going to the mall alone or window shopping for stuff alone became fun. I actually became friendlier with people, even random strangers, because I valued the company of others so much more. Making a random person smile made me smile for hours, even if I spent the rest of the day alone.

Eventually I found some new friends and some old ones came back but the best part was I didn't feel a constant need to be around people. If friends were calling me to do something and I wasn't in the mood I didn't force myself to go yet just 6 months prior I would've done it just to have company. I was the same yet different, in a good way. I no longer bent over backwards to help people because I was afraid they'd walk away, I helped because I wanted to.

We are social creatures and aren't meant to be alone but if you can't be happy alone you'll never be happy with the world around you.

cladre60;733572 said:

you can be a loser in a good way or a bad way.

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truth

I am a looser too and my perspective is different than of most people. I am educated, I have a good job and my looks are good too. I have a big cock and muscles but all of these things don't get me a girl. Why should you then invest time to get those things?


People told me to work on myself and I did. My best friends in high school were naturals and dated girls from the start. They never had a problem. In the meantime I worked more than 10 years on myself but I didn't get any results. Now that I am tired of self improvement I am more relaxed.

They always want to get you going and work hard but some people just won't accept that there are so many differences in the first place.


There is a saying "Few men have all the women." It means that there are a few alpha males and they fuck girls and the other men don't get a shot. Here is what happens though: As long as the weak men believe that they can achieve something they will work hard. With their hard work they contribute a lot to society and the alpha men can continue fucking without worrying about labour.

If you decide to work on yourself you are already occupied for a few months. It will be too late when you realize that everything didn't help. I believe you will learn a lot of thing about yourself but still that doesn't mean that you will achieve things that are ordinary for other people.

I know that most relationships end up in drama but still my mind keep reminding me how beautiful a relationship could be and that I should do something about my single status.

Just my perspective. I don't have any friends anymore so just that you know. Also I am not happy but I can't help myself to go in that direction of thinking.

Chaoskampf;734066 said:

I am a looser too and my perspective is different than of most people. I am educated, I have a good job and my looks are good too. I have a big cock and muscles but all of these things don't get me a girl. Why should you then invest time to get those things?


People told me to work on myself and I did. My best friends in high school were naturals and dated girls from the start. They never had a problem. In the meantime I worked more than 10 years on myself but I didn't get any results. Now that I am tired of self improvement I am more relaxed.

They always want to get you going and work hard but some people just won't accept that there are so many differences in the first place.


There is a saying "Few men have all the women." It means that there are a few alpha males and they fuck girls and the other men don't get a shot. Here is what happens though: As long as the weak men believe that they can achieve something they will work hard. With their hard work they contribute a lot to society and the alpha men can continue fucking without worrying about labour.

If you decide to work on yourself you are already occupied for a few months. It will be too late when you realize that everything didn't help. I believe you will learn a lot of thing about yourself but still that doesn't mean that you will achieve things that are ordinary for other people.

I know that most relationships end up in drama but still my mind keep reminding me how beautiful a relationship could be and that I should do something about my single status.

Just my perspective. I don't have any friends anymore so just that you know. Also I am not happy but I can't help myself to go in that direction of thinking.

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Yep for some reason i think most of the broshere dont have bad looks,But maybe we lack self confidence,low self steem etc and yeah chaos is kind right when he says that those "alpha males" get the pussy and the ones that spend years improving themselve dont have the same luck.

Its a really lame situation but it happens,those"weak" men are amazing contributors to the society, unfortunately their hard work cant be appreciated sometimes.

those"weak" guys can be "alpha males" too, hard work is supposed to give a reward..and if we look for it we can get it too.:cool:

my favorite Yogism 'half this game is 90% mental'

Big Schwanz Acht;734070 said:

my favorite Yogism 'half this game is 90% mental'

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Yes I would also say it is mental. But also in a sense that you have good reasons not to interact with certain people. But sometimes you don't really know that you have these reasons because you have never defined or expressed them to yourself. And then, many times it happens that it is no wonder that things happen the way they do. Because if you are bored by people and you don't want to interact then you will spend time alone as long as there is no person who is interesting. If I only choose girls by their looks then I know that something is wrong. Unfortunately since I don't get to know them it is something I should accept.

If you know something about your self it doesn't mean that you are stronger per se. I know that I like to spend time on my own. It is good to know but this attitude will automatically be a hindrance when I want to meet girls on the other side.

Additionaly everything gets worse once you are in the zone, once you are identified with a certain mind pattern. Then it becomes really hard to get out because unconsciously you don't want to loose your identity, whether it is good or bad.

And then we enter the realm of spirituality which is really the last resort for people who have suffered enough. But I will not talk about this here because it is only for people who are asking for it. I don't think you are that down Stripeee.

Wow, i genuinely astonished! So many responses offering a world of life experience, wisdom and advice.

I guess I was feeling low when I uploaded this post and after a couple of weeks of going out with friends and pre occupying myself with hobbies and tasks I feel a bit more positive about myself. It's definelty true about a negative energy though, when I go out I try to keep a smile on my face and try to talk to as many people as I can even if it's just the friends I'm with. Another thing I've been evaluating is that I'm NOT one of the alpha male jock types at all and girls will never see me as such, but ya know what if that makes me a loser in comparison to those morons then so be it. I know I'm more of a respectful person that will offer something more than them. For instance there's a girl I've been talking to on and off who I knew from school, to me she's perfect in every sense, but I've heard she has a repeat at pin for being easy (sleeps with jock type goons' 2 in 1 night in the space of an hour!!). I got chatting to her in person on a night out and it was really good. She stared asking about me and if I had had a girlfriend of anything, then I asked the same, she said she's been single for 3 years and doesn't get asked out on dates. Basically she gets not real meaningful attention coz she has a reputation that the wrong type of guys prey on (alpha jock types).

It got me thinking tho, I might not be one of those guys but I would definitely offer her something meaningful that she has clearly been missing that would show her she doesn't have to be easy to get male attention. This is what gives me inner strength to keep fighting and I'm so glad I saw her out, she said something similar the next day via message. I like her and would like to get to know her more seriously but she lives far away so I'll bide my time for now. I may not get all the girls and sex like some guys but I am a better and stronger person than them and I like to think I'll triumph over them one day somehow. I have my honour and I'm proud of that.

mmm Hope im wrong but Can a Leopard change its spots...Women whit those habits hardly change i believe they may change their "methods" but theyd keep their habits....?

LONGERDICK7+;734184 said:

mmm Hope im wrong but Can a Leopard change its spots...Women whit those habits hardly change i believe they may change their "methods" but theyd keep their habits....?

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Trying to teach an old dog new tricks, very difficult to do. Changing a person is a very challenging thing, especially when cognitive dissonance is involved. Many do not want to let go of beliefs, habits, etc. because they can not see past those attachments to a greater good on the other side. It is not impossible but it will take compassionate work that does not come off as being a controlling person.

I can relate to this when I want to help someone convert their life to Jesus. If I am pushy and preachy, controlling and ego driven they will not even hear me. I approach them is a loving way, never being pushy, only pointing them in the right direction. Many of these people simply can not let go of their secular beliefs so they remain unchanged.

So with any belief system there will be a certain degree of resistance and to get through that resistance one needs to let go and put there trust in a new way of living.

doublelongdaddy;734194 said:

Trying to teach an old dog new tricks, very difficult to do. Changing a person is a very challenging thing, especially when cognitive dissonance is involved. Many do not want to let go of beliefs, habits, etc. because they can not see past those attachments to a greater good on the other side. It is not impossible but it will take compassionate work that does not come off as being a controlling person.

I can relate to this when I want to help someone convert their life to Jesus. If I am pushy and preachy, controlling and ego driven they will not even hear me. I approach them is a loving way, never being pushy, only pointing them in the right direction. Many of these people simply can not let go of their secular beliefs so they remain unchanged.

So with any belief system there will be a certain degree of resistance and to get through that resistance one needs to let go and put there trust in a new way of living.

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Yep here i have learned great things too...Great teachers we have here!!lol:cool: Beside How many men n women havent cheated on their spouses...

LONGERDICK7+;734224 said:

Yep here i have learned great things too...Great teachers we have here!!lol:cool: Beside How many men n women havent cheated on their spouses...

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I have always tried to let everyone know that God loves them deeply and there is a much better life available. I would think my some of the Brothers who do not believe would trust me on this and at least try to seek out God. It is so easy to become saved, almost too easy. And I tell people all the time, why take a risk? Get right with God, get Baptized and live a good life filled with blessings. The Brotherhood is a Blessing. I treat the Brotherhood as a gift from God. I love all of my Brothers and I want all of my Brothers to be with me in the forum in the heavens!

I like this bit:
How much does Heaven cost to get into?
Remember, you are saved by the suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! You need to do nothing but believe on this and you will be Baptized into the family of God! No works will ever get you into Heaven, the work was already done by Jesus. But as a Christ follower faith is expressed in our inspired work to show the world that the Spirit of the living God is inside of us. There is no better news! You are saved! So simple!

And GOD does not make losers! We are all winners, we only need to realize it!

LONGERDICK7+;734184 said:

mmm Hope im wrong but Can a Leopard change its spots...Women whit those habits hardly change i believe they may change their "methods" but theyd keep their habits....?

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Here's the irony - when a guy is young and nailing everything that moves he gets applauded by his friends. Sex with 2 different women in one night? You just became a living legend in your peer circle.

If a woman does the exact same things she's a slut. She's a dirty whore. 10 years later she will still be remembered as the skank that would suck and fuck anything. "She must have searched long and hard to find a guy who DIDN'T know her past and was willing to marry her and have kids. Babies must just slide out of that loose pussy from all the cocks she's had."

10 years later the guy who did all the same stuff is still a living legend. She's still a trashy hoe.

We LOVE watching chicks in ���� and you might jerk off 347 times to the same chick and watched every scene she ever did yet would still be afraid to have a relationship with her, even if she quit the business and was fully dedicated and worshiped your dick, because "she's a dirty slut."

The double standard is getting a little better but it's still there.