I need advice

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Jun 13, 2003
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"I need advice"
#1
Can men and women actually be friends? I am having a really tough time. Every women I meet wants to f.ck my brains out. I am trying to turn this around. I am trying to actually make friends with them. What in the "hell" can I do? Tell me something. Or share some of your experiences.

<:(
 
Joined
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"I need advice"
#2
To be perfectly honest, I really don't think so. I feel there must be some sort of attraction that would cause one person to be close with another person of the opposite gender. Whether that attraction be physical, intellectual, emotional or otherwise. In one way or another, one person in the relationship sees it as more than friendship. Usually, the seesaw isn't balanced, so one feels more than the other, they just don't let on. That, or they don't have feelings at all. I spent years trying to keep a couple of my relationships completely Platonic. I was kidding myself all along.
 
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9cyclops9

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"I need advice"
#3
It is possible in certain situations. I'm really good friends with my best friend's gal, and I don't think I would date her even if we were both single. I don't think she would date me either. There's another gal though, that I'm really good friends with (she's dating another of my good friends) that if we were both single we would be all over each other. So we're platonic out of necessity...kind of. I would much rather be with my gal than her, but if things didn't work out, this other chick would be second choice. Man...she's so hot haha.
 
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"I need advice"
#4
If you are attracted to another woman, it is incredibly dishonest to "just be friends". Most guys who put up with the "lets just be friends" are just waiting for her boyfriend to do one dumb thing so they can be the crying shoulder and then they can take advantage of her.

I look down on that sort of behaviour even though most guys do it. In general, men and women usually have little in common in terms of real meaningful lifelong interests (unless she is a tomboy), and no skydiving, rock-climbing and all that stuff people include in their personals to make themselves sound eclectic doesn't count either.

Of course, a lot of people assume being "friendly" to people, in particular the opposite sex, means they are your friend. Well the term "friend" gets thrown around a lot these days and most people cliam to have a lot of friends when in reality they hang out in groups of people so as to use each other for various reasons. Like so-called business friends will pretend not to even know you if you go broke, and in high school popular friends will stop being your friend if you do something that hurts your popularity. People who want to be your friend when you are on the up and up cannot be counted on, and they are basically just bandwagon suckups who to me are not worth my time.

I have a lot of acquaintances, I am "friendly" with, but I could never count on them for anything, especially anything that required significant sacrifice on their part. A true friend will tell you to your face if you have done something wrong, even if it is insulting, and a true friend will stick by you thick and thin when you are going through hard times and do more than just give you lip service "hey man hang in there, things will get better".

So when it comes to women, will this woman stick by you through thick and thin or will she just use you as an emotional outlet to blab all her trite problems to your face, without even considering you have feelings as well. Can you trust this woman to keep anything you say in confidence to her as a secret, or is she a gossip queen who cannot be trusted with anything. Seriously, men and women just don't match on that kind of level in an honest sort of way, though for reasons of convenience men and women agree to be "friends" all the time, even though one or both of the parties are attracted to each other and guys who try and suppress that attraction are just being dishonest to themselves as well.

If I am not looking to get in a relationship (for example, if I am already in a relationship or she happens to be married), I simply do not even talk to a woman I am attracted to and avoid eye contact at all costs. If she asks why I behave that way, I tell her the truth and that I try and live by a moral code of conduct she may or may not agree with. If she persists in pursuing me when I know she shouldn't, then I tell her never to talk to me again.

I have never cheated in a relationship, and part of that reason is I make a strong effort not to get myself into situations where I am emotionally vulnerable. If I do get myself into that situation somehow, I look down between my legs and see that I have balls and take control of the situation with authority in the most direct way possible by being blunt and direct in telling the truth, rather than allow some woman to seduce you and control you and your actions while she feeds off the mystery of trying to think how deeply you like her or not.

That might sound strange to some of you here, but having a good reputation for not being a pimp will tend to get people who know you to try and set you up with respectable disease free lady friends of theirs who have more going for them than fake boobs and a wet hole, as opposed to the skanks and whores who will probably end up giving you a disease. Few women really trust men for good reason these days (I certainly don't trust women and that is for damned sure), so having a friend or even an older family member qualify you, can help save you a lot of time from going through the personals and having to go out with ten bitches before you find one woman who is not totally used goods and doesn't carry around a ton of baggage that you just don't want (I have dated single mom's in the past and "issues" is an understatement when it comes to most of them).

Also, did you know 1/3 of Americans get an STD within their lifetime? Most of it is HPV and Clamydia (both going untreated can make you infertile), but nevertheless scary shit if you ask me.

Anyways, back to the friends thing, older women (like 50+) can make good friends since their sex-drive is way down and they will actually treat you like a person and not as some biological imperative to sample. However, you can expect them to try and set you up with someone sooner or later if you don't have a girlfriend or a ring on your finger. As for women your own age, I wouldn't bother. I am 28 and most women my age pretty much size you up in terms of all the superficial qualities that would make you a good candidate for sperm donation and future child support payments. Well maybe that is a cynical way of looking at it, but they are looking to settle down if they don't already have kids and they just don't have time to "just be friends" with you since most of them work and are too occupied with husband hunting as it is.

If you want good conversation with the opposite sex, volunteer at some rest-home or retirement community where there are a lot of lonely people, many of whom don't have close family members who even visit them. They will appreciate your time a hell of a lot more than some woman who has the "need to breed" going like mad in her head.
 
Joined
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"I need advice"
#5
Best way to be friends with a female is to be friends with a "taken" one. The pressure of dating and sex is between two single people. It just happens. I have lots of guy friends that I would never ever hit the sack with, because I have a boyfriend. If there's no pressure there, then it's grounds for friendship. If I can go to a bar with a guy without my makeup and chow down on a plate of wings and beer, then he's a friend and nothing potential there. Hope this helps LoL.

Also, maybe you should be a little more upfront? Like, tell the girl before you go out that you're only wanting to be friends and nothing to happen. She won't think of it as much of a date anymore, less likely to fuck.
 
Joined
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"I need advice"
#7
jenny said:
Or...you could just tell them you're gay? LoL. I've seen that one work a few times with my guy friends that didn't want to tell a female he didn't want to bang her.
Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it, however, there is no way in the world that I would ever tell someone I am gay. I love women too much to lie. Everything is kool. I am just going to let the cards fall where they may.
 
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9cyclops9

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"I need advice"
#8
Wow MCTFB. Great post. I completely agree. Except I do think that there can be exceptions. But those are few and far between. Like the gal I talked about, for instance.
 

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