I have a really bad view on myself

cascade

Member
I wonder why I see myself so negatively?
I think I am good looking and have a lot to offer to a woman, but I seem to always slip into a hole and see myself as inadequate and ugly and no woman would ever want me.

In the end I turn to alcohol and drown my sorrows.
But this is only a temporary thing.

I had a weird day today in that I had two girls show interest in me and I diddn't even try!

The funny thing is that I didd't really care about much today and was very relaxed about trying to look for girls and just got on with life by running errands and keeping myself busy.

I don't know what to make of all this?

What's the key to being positive?
Does being positive work?
 

ItsElectric

Active member
http://www.seductionbb.com

The best thing you could possibly do to yourself, is believe. Have confidence and don't take women too seriously (unless you feel like they're good material). Have a read of that, if you start practicing that, I'm positive your confidence will go up.

Also, if you're into hypnosis, download 'Unstoppable Confidence' by Ross Jeffries off of Kazaa, there are lots of parts to it, but it has good information.

-ItsElectric
 

bigbutnottoo

Active member
Originally posted by ItsElectric
http://www.seductionbb.com

Is there some kind of book or users manual you have to read for that site? I dont know any of that terminology. AFC, Pac, etc, wthell does it mean.
 
I go through stages of that, Sometimes when I look in the mirror I just look ugly. Where do you live? if it's winter right now for you, like it is for us, the short sunlight hours coud really hurt your mood, I'm serious the more sun around, the better your brain balances your chemicals or something like that. and some people have serious problems because of this, go look into it some more if that might be it. if not, just don't worry about women right now, go out with some friends, see movies, go to a beach, go on a vacation, stay away from alchohol and other drugs.
 

wdis3

Member
I am so the same way, I work at a resturuant as a buser, so when I go out to clean and set the tables, I see girls just starin no joke, a couple days ago it was homecoming and I had all kinds of girls staring at me.. Do I ever even talk to them, no! It kills me, man I havnt gotten laid in so long, when I see a hottie I get a hard on, my dick almost pulls me over to her, and god help me if I catch a look at that ass.. Even if lock eyes for 30 seconds, I still have that thought in my head, nah she dont want you, dont go over there. I've never just walked up and talked to a girl, I guess I'm shy, all the girls I have meant have been interduced to me. Its like I'm waiting for them to talk to me, which I probably cant count on, or maybe im just waiting for a perfect momment, but I have never just said fuck it and talked to them.

There are times, when I see a girl with a guy that I know i look better than, and I question myself, what the hell does he have that i dont, am I missing something that is apealing to women? Its not like I want the hottest cat in the room, I just want somethin nice to look at, am I too ugly for that. In the past I have gotten that.. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and I think, how can anyone like this? Sometimes I think I look good.. When it comes to Penis Enlargement, i've always been down about my size 7 by 5, it isnt going to cut it, maybe for her its fine, but for me its still inadequate.

Like you I think I have somethin to offer, but than sometimes, I think I have nothing to offer..
 
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starter

New member
You know what guys, go for the gold, beleive it or not girls actually find guys hot shit im fat and i get some really hot girls to thinkim hott as hell......... girls liek some things girls dont liek other things....... u get one girl u will get confidence, i say grab ur balls and say hi how r u and have a conversation
 

Irene MGF2

New member
You know, you just lost belief in yourself. <:(
Why it happened? Maybe the problem is not in you. :s Just look into the mirror and you'll see a real guy who can have all women.
Be optimist!!! You are so young now. Don't miss even a day of your life. :blush:
 

tbirdy

Member
"You know, you just lost belief in yourself."

Nope. It didn't JUST happen magically.
Ok dude, u consult me , u get some sort of good therapy in form of advice: Here it goes.

Evaluation of your Situation: You gave way the most important thing: SELF CONTROL ! Control of your life. Thats why you are miserable. No excuses. Last acceptable excuse , maybe , before you read the next sentence is : You didn't know any better ! Ok nuff excuses , lets get down to buisness. The next sentence correctly accuses you of being guilty for your miserable situation : YOU CHOSE TO GIVE AWAY CONTROL ! OK no excuses after here.....
Just fact and ways to do it better.

I will evalutate YOUR negative actions in your own reality, your negative perception of YOUR reality based on MY experience/ in MY reality. Its possible because the 2 of us have something like a "small shared reality".
Ok get that in your head real good.

Now lets take a look at your pereception of your reality. means lets take a look at what started this thread :

YOU WROTE this :

I wonder why I see myself so negatively?
I think I am good looking and have a lot to offer to a woman, but I seem to always slip into a hole and see myself as inadequate and ugly and no woman would ever want me. In the end I turn to alcohol and drown my sorrows. But this is only a temporary thing.
I had a weird day today in that I had two girls show interest in me and I diddn't even try!
The funny thing is that I didd't really care about much today and was very relaxed about trying to look for girls and just got on with life by running errands and keeping myself busy.
I don't know what to make of all this?
What's the key to being positive?
Does being positive work?


For me this directly translates into: (remember: its my perception of your reality based on my own reality)

I wonder why I see myself so negatively?

To me it's = I see myself negative. Why oh why am I so shit ?Why oh why ? You guys on the forum, u tell me why! I'm too lazy/stupid, to conciosly notice myself WHY.
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I think I am good looking and have a lot to offer to a woman, but I seem to always slip into a hole and see myself as inadequate and ugly and no woman would ever want me.

To me it's = I am good looking. I choose to have second thoughts about it.I doubt it. I feel like I "MUST" offer something to women to get something. I think it must be atleast physical beauty. I assume, I don't have what I , myself, thought up to be " a must-have". Whow! I just made up the xx-zillionest' excuse NOT to talk to women and continue to feel miserable about myself. Hey its not my fault. Its someones fault. I SEEM TO ALWAYS SLIP.
Hmm could this be a challange ?
Hmm maybe I should CHANGE something by TAKING ACTION ? MAYBE I SHOULDN'T SEE MYSELF SO NEGATIVE ? MAYBE I ShOULD JUST DO WHAT I KNOW IS RIGHT AND NOT MAKE UP EXCUSES TO DO THE WRONG or worse NOT TO DO ANYTHING ?
Nah- Probably its the looks ! Oh well. I'm so shit.
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In the end I turn to alcohol and drown my sorrows. But this is only a temporary thing.

To me its : In the end, I'm always at the beginning. Instead of trying something, somehow DIFFERENT, or get advice , i ENDULGE in my negative feelings , i live my own drama with/for myself, I even damage my health and dramatically drown my dramatic sorrow. The world is so bad, unfair, why always me ? Shit , now I'm so drunk and wasted, my chances with women MUST be even less than zero now....
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I had a weird day today in that I had two girls show interest in me and I diddn't even try!

To me it's = 2 perfectly normal girls , prefectly normal females showed normal interest to me. But hey. Haha. Not me ! Of course, I. I choose to call this day " WEIRD". Its weird for healthy normal women to show interest to healthy, normal , good looking males. I DON'T THINK I AM HEALTHY, NORMAL, Hydromaxmm MALE, good looking, so it was OH SO FUCKING WEIRD, that they even looked at me without instantly puking ....
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The funny thing is that I didd't really care about much today and was very relaxed about trying to look for girls and just got on with life by running errands and keeping myself busy.

The really fnny thing really is :
To me: OF COURSE I WAS MAINLY THINKING BOUT THIS MISERY , EVEN TODAY ! Otherwise I wouldn't post this shit on a Forum to WHINE and COMPLAIN and consult others for MORE EXCUSES to remain my old lousy self, where I feel so miserable , so comfortable, so unchallanged and SAFE, so dramatic and emotional, so misunderstood, so full of hope, so needy....
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I don't know what to make of all this?
= I just came by to WHINE to you AND ask for ADVICE which I won't be able to really follow anyways...

What's the key to being positive?
Whats the key to asking dumb questions ? Why do you want to be positive ? From what I've heard , negative thinking attracts misery, cancer, negative people, negative behaviours, all kinds of crazy shit, it sends off negativity to women and everybody else around you..instantly...

Does being positive work?
Does the pope shit in the woods ? DO bears ? Why can't I reach over from here to you AND slap you hard enough for this question?
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Ok so much for the Realitys. In my Reality, on my radar , in my world you leave many negative images/fingerprints of your personality.

Just from reading your post I got into thinking : Yes he DOES HAVE a VERY BAD VIEW ON HIMSELF. = NO CONFIDENCE. HE CONSTANTLY SENDS OUT " I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY To the female heavens. They get/got the message, trust me. The last WORST accusation I can think of : I assume YOU ARE LAZY AND FULL OF INNER FEAR.

We have to evaluate the last one, real good here. Probably some strong mechanisms at work , you need to understand that to work it out for yourself. When you are afraid of something, and happen to have NO CONFIDENCE..YOU will always, ALWAYS, AAAAALLLWWWAAAYYYS think up thousands of excuse to REMAIN AFRAID. Thats whats being afraid is all about.Keeping u there. Afraid = Keeping you from doing something. If you would do it, you wouldn't be afraid anymore by default :), and if you DID something AND FEARED this at the time, you would still be a big step further = OVERCOMING IT. Feel it, but do it anyways , till u get desensetized to the fear. This works with EVERY fear. And every fear keeps , something of you in the back. This fear mechanism is EXCELLENT because it is still with us to quickly make a decision that allows us to remain SAFE. In life and death situations. its the best sklill to have.
IMPULS->FEAR->THINK UP SHIT SO NO FEAR CONFRONTATION HAPPenis EnlargementNS>DO IT>STAY ALIVE.
The last skill that u want to have at your side when it comes to women , or life , or whatever....get it ?
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So much to fear.
Back to the REALITIES !!!

Ok..I don't know much bout you , you just typed away the stuff that is going through the minds of thousands of girls and boys, men and women around the world.

You noticed , I made fun of it. You noticed I sounded cruel. I hit directly into your weak spots. Probably even insulted you every now and then.

(HOPenis Enlargement) You noticed my GOOD intention behind all that.
What I did, was show to you how "THE OTHERS", The women, men, The world, "The fraction of small incommon reality" would most likely JUDGE YOU IF they more or less looked through the fog. I judged you be the standards of the others. To me : You are unknowing.

TIME TO WAKE UP - OR -ADMIT YOU WANT TO SLEEP YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Thats why I'm shaking you up here.
I can live with both. I hope you choose the first. I'm willing to engage in some (for you) enlightning conversation.

I told you what u DID/DO/WILL DO wrong...I can show you how to BELIEVE and BEHAVE so u will more likely DO THE RIGHT in our COMMON REALITY WORLD - AND ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS remain the one and only king of your OWN reality. But that depneds on YOU.
The only must-have is : THE REALIZATION: I need to change.

Man I can even give it away all in one sentence,(though it probably won't help much without explaining)

You MUST tweak/change/work at your Penis EnlargementRCEPTION of YOUR REALITY. In your head, YOU ARE GOD, YOU CHOOSE TO THINK , YOU CHOOSE TO ACT, YOU CAN BE EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF THAT YOU CAN BE. Works both ways. I you think you "I CAN" is equally correct as "I CAN NOT". You have always complete control of your minds , unless you give it away. Or let otherrs take control of it.
Examples ? If you think up that you are somehow "unattractive"- YOU ARE UNATTRACTIVE ! If you think it is weird for girls to check you out without you taking action. THAN IT IS WEIRD !

There is so much , self pity, ignorance , lazyness , misscommunication and misinformation in this sentence alone:

"I had a weird day today in that I had two girls show interest in me and I diddn't even try!"

It's NOT a good mindset to have about others and yourself.
Look at other examples of mindsets, same situation:

"I had a very good day today ! 2 girls flirted with me and god did they check me out"
optimistic, overexxaggerating mindset. Better than yours.

"I had 2 bitches checking my shit out today, man I didn't give a fuck, pussy doesn't distract ME from work.

A very confident "don't give a fuck" attitude , that says to himself, I get pussy all the time , im not needy, i get it when i choose to get it, i'm about my buisness.

think. think . think. Think up 10 BETTER/DIFFERENT outcomes, or mindsets to ALL of your "oh-so-miserable perceptions" of yourself.

With your MIND: BEND THE RULES. MAN REMEMBER YOU ARE GOD. YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE it personal when a girls "puts you down" or you CHOOSE to see it as HER FAULT, HER LOSS. OR JUST CHOOSE TO SEE THE GAME. MAKE YOURSELF DISTANT FROM THE OUTCOMES of Playing the date game. Its about being in it. In the end. Each and everything comes down to you. Your brain , Your thoughts , your view on yourself , your possibilites, your excuses , your potential , your dreams , your actions, your VALUE.
Your imagination is not even really a limit. You can always inform yourself.
Just never take something for granted. MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN RULES. Think up some freaky stuff in your head.
The dating game is the dating game because people have common rules from their "shared common reality"
Know these rules GOOD , and play by them GOOD to succeed. Skills ! Stop being lazy , get skills !
Alot of things also come down to CHOICES ! CHoose to do the right thing , choose to do the bad thing. Learn or learn not from having chosen to do something in the past.
The more knowledge, skills, imagination ,creativity the more choices in life YOU SEE the more CHOICES YOU HAVE the more in control you are, the more you should see that its your OWN FATE wich was someones greatest gift of all to maknind. We are free to create or own fates. Or we just swimm with everybody else and live average. A VE R A GE. Not good , not bad, just there..without meaning...might have also not been born....

man, ore examples of how pathetically ironic everythig is, how nothing can be/should ever be taken for granted ? How realtive everything is , up to that point where YOU DECIDE IT IS IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE, YOUR REALITY !?


Is it ok to kill children ? NO
Is it ok to kill your sister ? NO
Is it ok to kill a child to save the life of 10 000 children. Shit ! Tough one. I guess most will go with NO, but definetely do it if they had to. I would do it. But could I do it ? The fuck I know. God forbid this ever happens.

Is it ok to kill your 9 year old sister to safe the life of of 10 000 9 year old girls ? Ugh ! A tough one , this time I guess , most WILL say it a NO and also will NOT do it.
I wouldn't do it either.

Shit, WTF?! Immoral to ask those questions. Still , see how relative is..most of you would rather save your sister that u knew your whole damn life and allow the death of 10 000 african children, just because you have no connection with them whatsoever.
Its all in your mind...that what we humans are best at ,thats what makes us stand out from animals....the mind , learn , think , adopt...
 

Chi

1
I would have posted a different answer but... I agree with tbirdy.

Slap yourself and read his post again. Then get started with the rest of the day.
 
I would probably agree with tbirdy if he hadnt written so much I couldnt be bothered to read it.
 
I used to be a lot like that when I was in college (talk about torture: surrounded by hot ass and feeling inadequate; I tapped my fair share of it, but still, I felt miserable a lot and ended up in some relationships I knew I should've avoided).

If there is one thing to take away from all of the advice here (and you see it repeated throughout), it is 'confidence.' If -you- think you're inadequate, why should anyone else feel any different about you? Unconfident people project it like they're wearing a sign around their neck, and women especially are great at sensing this.

One thing that helped me was just getting out and talking to people and building up confidence. I used to be such an introvert it was ridiculous; now because of my work and other things, I feel completely confident in situations where I have to talk to someone, even if it is a woman. In relationships nowadays, I frequently hear from my woman about how she finds my confidence so sexy and it is "so much nicer than with my ex who was always jealous or worried about this or that." Women love a confident man, they want someone they feel safe with and who will take control and lead the way (not saying slap them around either, just be a leader, not a follower who sits on their ass).

As you yourself said, you know you have good qualities and a lot to offer. Quit focusing on the negative and focus on those things. Build up your confidence. Realize that as cliche as it is, there are "a lot of other fish in the sea," and if the girl you're going nuts over isn't interested, it is her loss, not yours. Don't go into the situation (any situation where you want something) and show all your cards and come across as begging, feeling that "If I don't score this one, I'm such a loser! It's all over!"

To hell with that. I'm not saying be apathetic and uncaring at all of people and their opinions with an attitude of, "You don't like me? Then f*ck you!" Just walk away, confident that you'll eventually find what you're looking for. But this also means actively seeking out what you want. The perfect woman (or job, or whatever) is not going to come knocking on your door. *knock knock* "Hi, I'm Candy, I love you, let's f*ck." It's not going to happen, heh.

If you approach a woman and it doesn't work out, guess what? You're still in the same situation you were in without trying: alone. But never trying is going to always leave you in that position. And don't take away from failures negative things. Try to make sure everytime you try that you're doing so with the intent of not only succeeding but in learning something from the experience. "Okay, I used this approach and it went okay BUT if I'd tried this tweak here in what I said, I have a feeling she'd have been mroe receptive. Next time, I'll do that and see how it goes." Don't walk away with your tail between your legs; take from the experience what you need and move on, do not dwell on the negative.

Similar to Penis Enlargement, this stuff doesn't happen overnight; you'll have to work at it, but it will pay off. Work on your confidence and "people skills", figure out what -you- want and then make it happen. (And please learn from my mistake: do not, especially early on, latch onto anything that pays attention to you -- remember that just as she is looking for someone compatible, you should be doing the same. Unconfident people have a bad habit of falling into this trap and you'll regret it. Never settle for anything less than what you want and feel you deserve. Never.)
 

J.J.

Member
Wow! tbirdy, great post! You are so right. Ever thought of becoming a psychiatrist or something?

@kurthungus: great post too.

Cascade, read their posts a few times really good. Life's to short for wasting it. Dare to live. Don't take everything too serious, live like it's a game.

Trust me, I've been where you are now and they are 100% right. And YOU have the key to change things. Do it!
 
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