HUGE PROBLEM !!!! Check this OuT

Joined
Mar 17, 2004
Messages
2,040
I was reading this thread - http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8617 - when it hit me.

Let me start off... I used to be really popular, good looking(still am LOL), fun to be around, had tons of friends I hung out with, and was really outgoing, always out and about.

But now, all I do all the time is just stay at home and chill, on my computer - when im not at school, that is. Even on weekends, I just stay at home and chill on the comp.

My social life has pretty much gone down the drain. I even stutter at times when talking now, even with normal people. its wierd

and after reading the thread I linked to above, I realized its all because im just chillin on my comp all the time.

Im gonna try to start spending 90% less time on the comp and go do something else instead.

And im bringin this up becuz theres prolly some other people on this board too who have also got this same problem.

Any other ideas or comments, let em fly
 

austin316

Banned
Joined
Apr 14, 2004
Messages
121
Hydromaxm its pretty different for me (or atleast i think so) i used to be really popular, had loads of mates, used to go out all the time... but no matter what i did it just started falling apart, they started treating me like shit for no reason, standin me up and so on. so i found myself doing fuck all at nights (and days and weekends and all the time) purely because these guys id spent so much time with just didnt want to any more, it was more of "eh lets hang with him IF he goes to that place" and not "lets go out to that place WITH him" i used to find myself going to gigs, and sitting there by myself because all the people i had called friends had somehow developed their own cliques without me noticing... and unfortunately i wasnt a member of any of them.

so basically i turned to the computer, its fun, porn, tv shows, comics, movies just readin stuff and art (im a digital artist in my spare time). Ive got better now, im making a whole new load of friends at my new college, went out on a drinking spree with them the other day. So with me its less of "my lack of social life is because of my computer" and its more of "me being on the computer is because i dont have a social life" there are billions of things i would rather do than be on the computer, its affecting me health aswell (im not in bad health, but being inside on the computer all day can do mad things with your brain and so on) but im not going to allow myself be treated like shit, purely so that i can hand around with people who use me as a tool to have fun rather than care about me.
 

derringer57

Member
Joined
May 12, 2004
Messages
579
My social life has pretty much gone down the drain. I even stutter at times when talking now, even with normal people. its wierd

and after reading the thread I linked to above, I realized its all because im just chillin on my comp all the time.
Same thing. I am very involved, I am ASB VP, do lots of crazy fun things, always out, but now that I chill more and just talk with my g/f I totally dont have the thought organization I used to. It is hard to explain myself sometimes etc. Weird. Ah well. :)
 

TimBo755

Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2003
Messages
946
Same thing happend to me when I was in middle school and went up all the way to junior year until I put an end to it by taking about 3 months off the comp during the summer.. take a break from these things, they are to be used in moderation like everything else.
 

derringer57

Member
Joined
May 12, 2004
Messages
579
Also wanted to note, computer is problem, but so is over-comitting to too many things which stretches time, not allowing you to relax and be yourself.
 
Joined
Oct 11, 2003
Messages
1,940
I feel ya gangsta. Same for me, I get so freakin angry on some occations.
I really would like to be social have plenty of friends and all that, but that isn't the case for me. Only have 3 real good friends, then some regual people one see.

Some one just blow my head off.
 
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
218
I totally dont have the thought organization I used to. It is hard to explain myself sometimes etc.
That sounds like me! Ive been thinking that writing would help solidify my feelings and thoughts about things so I could articulate them better when talking to people. But yea, Ive become quite the introvert these last few years. I was in a serious relationship for 4 years. She and I dropped all our friends and spent all our time alone together. Now that we broke up I am alone. Well, Ive got you guys :O
 

TimBo755

Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2003
Messages
946
copper_handshak said:
That sounds like me! Ive been thinking that writing would help solidify my feelings and thoughts about things so I could articulate them better when talking to people. But yea, Ive become quite the introvert these last few years. I was in a serious relationship for 4 years. She and I dropped all our friends and spent all our time alone together. Now that we broke up I am alone. Well, Ive got you guys :O


Just about the same has happend to me, though I see my friends on occasions its just hard for everyone to get together like we used to be able to. everyone has diff schedules and whenever im free everyone else is busy etc. kinda sucks but whatever, i deal with it.
 

flair1981

Banned
Joined
Sep 12, 2004
Messages
101
Hmm, Im not alone after all. Its sad really for me. I used to be the cool guy all the normal kids at school would flock around. All the way up to 12th grade. I always treated people right and was respectful and honest, still am and still do...the difference between then and now is, its just me alone. I dont get it, seriously. I got a car in the 10th grade and just couldnt wait to take my friends fishing, camping, hunting, swimming, playing pool...whatever....but when Ild try and set something up I either got a "mabey" answer that was never settled on, or some crappy excuse. I tried for 2 years and those 2 years I still had alot of friends to hang with at school , or so I thought. I got married a year after graduation and I expected to loose touch with some, but not every frickin one of them. We all live in a small town so its not like Im hard to find. As time went by, so did the number of contacts. So about 4 years ago I decided to give up and let it go. No more trying or even caring. I found out in this time that all of those "friends" were doing all those things together (camping, hanging out etc...) that I was trying to do with ALL of them as a group. I still to this day dont understand why. I never once did any of them wrong. The only problem I ever noticed in school with them were the excuses , and I gave them the benifit of the doubt. 4 years ago right before I gave up, I did ask the one guy that was left why they didnt include me in anything they did, but yet hung around me in school, his answer was "well,...it was just hard to get everyone together" I said "Yeah I know I tried for years." What a load of crap! He didnt have the guts to even be honest with me. Stupid Idiot... But now I to dont go out much, and I guess the internet is my way of talking to people. I dont even talk on the phone anymore unless I have to.
 

TimBo755

Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2003
Messages
946
flair1981 said:
Hmm, Im not alone after all. Its sad really for me. I used to be the cool guy all the normal kids at school would flock around. All the way up to 12th grade. I always treated people right and was respectful and honest, still am and still do...the difference between then and now is, its just me alone. I dont get it, seriously. I got a car in the 10th grade and just couldnt wait to take my friends fishing, camping, hunting, swimming, playing pool...whatever....but when Ild try and set something up I either got a "mabey" answer that was never settled on, or some crappy excuse. I tried for 2 years and those 2 years I still had alot of friends to hang with at school , or so I thought. I got married a year after graduation and I expected to loose touch with some, but not every frickin one of them. We all live in a small town so its not like Im hard to find. As time went by, so did the number of contacts. So about 4 years ago I decided to give up and let it go. No more trying or even caring. I found out in this time that all of those "friends" were doing all those things together (camping, hanging out etc...) that I was trying to do with ALL of them as a group. I still to this day dont understand why. I never once did any of them wrong. The only problem I ever noticed in school with them were the excuses , and I gave them the benifit of the doubt. 4 years ago right before I gave up, I did ask the one guy that was left why they didnt include me in anything they did, but yet hung around me in school, his answer was "well,...it was just hard to get everyone together" I said "Yeah I know I tried for years." What a load of crap! He didnt have the guts to even be honest with me. Stupid Idiot... But now I to dont go out much, and I guess the internet is my way of talking to people. I dont even talk on the phone anymore unless I have to.

This is kinda what I fear may end up happening with me and my "friends" its slowly happening already...
 

flair1981

Banned
Joined
Sep 12, 2004
Messages
101
What are some of the things going on that your noticeing TimBo? Are you getting the excuses too? For me I just had a hard time accepting what was going on, excuses etc... But its real, and I tried to over look it for a long time, but I had to face the reality of it eventually. The thing that really did it for me was when me and my wife finally after 7 years of renting a drafty old house, we finally was able to buy 1 acre of land and have our own place. I was so happy , it was a huge accomplishment in my life. This one guy that I mentioned that I still tried to be friends with, wasnt even interested enough to ride up the road 3 miles with me to see my new place. After 3 weeks of trying to get together, I finally asked him about what I mentioned above. I told him exactly what I felt about our "friendship". I even asked him if there was something he had against me or something I did i wasnt aware of, to let me know and we would work it out right there like friends should. I could tell in his expresion that he didnt care and I accepted it. I left graciously, and told him to come see me when he could. That was 4 years ago and I havent seen or heard from him since. He lives just 3 miles down the road. We had been friends so I thought since the first grade. Everyone else is out there too doing whatever. And as for the statements made on talking in public to others or just meeting someone new, Since that time I have a hard time carrying on conversations for any length of time. I cant explain my thoughts like I once could, and Im very unorganized in general. Its got to the point that if someone speaks to me for more than 3 or 4 minutes and keeps on talking, I feel they are making fun of me or are just humoring me trying to be nice. Its like I cant alow myself to belive that someone would want to talk to me or be interested in what I have to say.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Mar 17, 2004
Messages
2,040
woah. for me its like the opposite. I just started to spend less time with friends who really liked me and more time on the comp and little by little it came to be I have barely any good friends and I spend alot of time on the computer.
 

austin316

Banned
Joined
Apr 14, 2004
Messages
121
flair1981 said:
Hmm, Im not alone after all. Its sad really for me. I used to be the cool guy all the normal kids at school would flock around. All the way up to 12th grade. I always treated people right and was respectful and honest, still am and still do...the difference between then and now is, its just me alone. I dont get it, seriously. I got a car in the 10th grade and just couldnt wait to take my friends fishing, camping, hunting, swimming, playing pool...whatever....but when Ild try and set something up I either got a "mabey" answer that was never settled on, or some crappy excuse. I tried for 2 years and those 2 years I still had alot of friends to hang with at school , or so I thought. I got married a year after graduation and I expected to loose touch with some, but not every frickin one of them. We all live in a small town so its not like Im hard to find. As time went by, so did the number of contacts. So about 4 years ago I decided to give up and let it go. No more trying or even caring. I found out in this time that all of those "friends" were doing all those things together (camping, hanging out etc...) that I was trying to do with ALL of them as a group. I still to this day dont understand why. I never once did any of them wrong. The only problem I ever noticed in school with them were the excuses , and I gave them the benifit of the doubt. 4 years ago right before I gave up, I did ask the one guy that was left why they didnt include me in anything they did, but yet hung around me in school, his answer was "well,...it was just hard to get everyone together" I said "Yeah I know I tried for years." What a load of crap! He didnt have the guts to even be honest with me. Stupid Idiot... But now I to dont go out much, and I guess the internet is my way of talking to people. I dont even talk on the phone anymore unless I have to.
apart from the car, and marriage and it being 4 years ago thats exactly the same as me, the last time i had a social visit from any of my "friends" was over 3 months ago. About 6 weeks ago i thought maybe i'd try and patch up the relationship with the person who had been my best friend since i was 10, then suddenly stopped talking to me. I thought about us going to the cinema to see Spiderman 2 (i believe) so you know i phoned him up, we arranged the time and date and everything. As i was getting ready that afternoon i got a phone call from my "mates" mum, saying that he was in bed with a serious migraine and and wouldnt be able to make it. I thought 'oh ok' and i took my (ex) girlfriend instead... get in the cinema and watched the film, and who do i see sitting in the same cinema afterwards? my supposedly ill mate, with his best mate. Needless to say i almost broke his nose and vowed that i couldn't care less whether those shits wanted to see me again. Now i just work, go to college and hang around with my girlfriend whenever i can.
 

blabla182

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2004
Messages
159
i think that the computer is fucking evil theirs to mutch stuff on the internet and it sucks you in and holds you prisoner their for hours on end. i sometimes have to catch myself and go what the hell ive been on this thing for like 5 hours its gourgeous outside and half the day is gone what the hell get out of the house you freak
"I totally dont have the thought organization I used to. It is hard to explain myself sometimes etc. " thats a good way of putting it
 
Joined
Feb 3, 2004
Messages
218
I wonder what the effect of seeing T.V. sitcoms has on peoples expectations of what groups of real people do and say together. Does everyone secretly feel "lame" because they dont sound like these actors that are really just saying lines it took professional writers hours to come up with? You get five people together and they all sit around thinking we should being doing this really cool thing and saying these witty insightful things, trying to live up to impossible images. So in the end everyone goes home and sits around alone thinking their not good enough to take part.
 

Provider

Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2003
Messages
890
I get the same problems guys. I spend hours a day on the computer, I'm addicted to MSN. Even if I have other stuff to do that I should do I just stay on my computer. I have less friends than I use to :(
 

flair1981

Banned
Joined
Sep 12, 2004
Messages
101
Austintatius, wrote:

"apart from the car, and marriage and it being 4 years ago thats exactly the same as me, the last time i had a social visit from any of my "friends" was over 3 months ago. About 6 weeks ago i thought maybe i'd try and patch up the relationship with the person who had been my best friend since i was 10, then suddenly stopped talking to me. I thought about us going to the cinema to see Spiderman 2 (i believe) so you know i phoned him up, we arranged the time and date and everything. As i was getting ready that afternoon i got a phone call from my "mates" mum, saying that he was in bed with a serious migraine and and wouldnt be able to make it. I thought 'oh ok' and i took my (ex) girlfriend instead... get in the cinema and watched the film, and who do i see sitting in the same cinema afterwards? my supposedly ill mate, with his best mate. Needless to say i almost broke his nose and vowed that i couldn't care less whether those shits wanted to see me again. Now i just work, go to college and hang around with my girlfriend whenever i can."

Get a good education. Thats a great start.
 
Top Bottom