How to Turn A Friend Into A Lover


Jun 3, 2003

How to Turn A Friend Into A Lover


I get a lot of emails like this:

"I'm friends with this girl and I want to
know how to get her to like me."

So, rather than answering them all
individually, I'd like to answer it here for
my valued newsletter subscribers. I'm about
to reveal to you some pretty advanced
knowledge - turning a woman friend into a
lover isn't only rare, it's also extremely
difficult. Most "unenlightened" men simply
won't be able to do this. If you don't know
what you are doing you could easily lose
everything - even the friendship.

But, if you can get good at turning friends
into lovers you will have an invaluable
skill... you'll be able to go in "under the
radar" so to speak by befriending a woman
before trying to "pick her up." Sure, the
process is slower but for men who aren't in a
hurry it's great. I will actually do this so
that I can get an idea of a woman's true
nature while we are "friends" before I begin
to date her. I use it as a screening process
so that I don't end up with shallow,
unscrupulous, or dumb women.

Here's the difficulty...

The woman considers you a friend so, when you
start laying the moves on her, she is going
to get freaked out, resist your advances, and
probably avoid you for a while. So, the
challenge is this... getting her to like you
before she knows that you like her. It sounds
a little grade school when you put it in
those terms but that is the essence of the

But, the nature of friendships is one where
you just "let your hair down" and "be
yourself." You are just supposed to relax and
have a good time... it's a whole other world
compared to dating where you are always
supposed to be putting your best foot

And this is precisely where men run into
trouble. You cannot act like a friend with a
woman and expect her to become attracted to
you. Instead, you must begin acting like a
lover (whether you are one or not) before she
can begin considering you as a lover.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Now, allow me to clarify, when I say you are
supposed to start acting like a lover I do
not mean to make advances on her and, above
all, I do not mean that you should start
acting really "nice" around her. What I'm
saying is that you should start to exude the
qualities that women are attracted to. The
qualities that women look for in lovers. The
qualities that are outlined in my book The
DateSTACKER Program.

Avoid these typical friend behaviors:

- NEVER allow her to talk to you about other
men she is interested in. Change the subject,
without being obvious about it, if this ever

- Don't be available to her 24/7. Yes, a
friend is always there but, remember, you
aren't trying to be a friend, your trying to
be a lover. In order to be a lover she needs
to like you - but not like you as a friend.

- Don't "just hang out" and do boring stuff.
Women want excitement, they want
entertainment, they want to go out and have
the time of their lives. This is what women
are attracted to. Friends hang around the
house and watch movies, lovers go out and
spend money (just kidding, you don't have to
spend $$$ but you do need to put some effort
and planning into the activities).

- Don't spill your guts. Best friends talk
about all the embarrassing, idiotic things
they have done. Lovers, on the other hand,
highlight their positive, admirable qualities
and experiences. No matter what she says, she
WILL look down on you for telling her about
all CRAP you did in the past.

After a while, she should start to give off
some signals. Maybe she will look deep into
your eyes for longer than normal, maybe she
will make subtle hints (that you probably
won't notice unless you are watching for
them), or maybe she will just come out and
say she is interested in you.

The funny (and magical) part about this
process is that, whether she realizes it at
first or not, you guys WILL be dating. When
her friends and family see you guys going out
and having fun together they will say things
to her like "Are you guys dating?" and "Are
you interested in him?" Regardless of her
answer, the probing questions of her friends
will get her mind working in that direction.
The next time you guys go out (and have a
blast together) it will be in the back of her
mind. While she is having a great time with
you she will be thinking "Gee, maybe Jenny is
right, maybe I do like him... he sure is

And, that my friend, is how it is done.

Best wishes


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