g/f has trouble orgasming through oral sex

Smallguy44

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So this girl im dating (basically g/f) and I were talking about sexual experiences, and we got into the talk of oral sex. She claims she's never had an orgasm through penetration (which is understandable), and she even has trouble w/ oral sex, and only one guy (long term b/f) has ever made her orgasm. She even went on to say that it would take him 25 mins to get her to cum. Now my question is, is this normal ? I've never been w/ a girl that took that long to cum. Maybe the fact that she's only 19 and limited w/ experiences, but i dunno.....any thoughts ? I know how to locate the g-spot and provide sufficient clitoral stimulation, and blah blah. THink i'll have trouble as the previous guy or if i know what i'm doing i'll get her to cum in less ?
 
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Do you know if she has any trouble making herself cum?? If she does, then she has other problems but if she doesn't then it just a matter of her teaching you what feels good to her. Every woman is different so she's your best teacher on how to make her cum. You two need to communicate more about this and experiment in a relaxed environment where orgasm is not the objective, but learning about her anatomy and what feels good to her is... sort of like a private sex class with just the two of you.
 
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I hate to burst your bubbles, guys, but the truth of the matter is that only 43% of women report having orgasms from penetration regularly. Something like 23% said that they rarely have orgasms through penetration and a sad 13% say they never have orgasms through penetration. This is from a poll by Glamour magazine, with several thousand respondents.

When polled, almost all women report that they fake or have faked orgasms.

When I read some guy saying he gives his woman multiple orgasms all the time, I just smile.

Smallguy, at her age, the problem is not stimulation. It is more likely to be experience and comfort. Women are not like men. They are trained all their lives to subvert their sexual urges. Where men are taught that male arrousal and orgasm is a sign of masculinity, women are taught that being sexually open and aggressive is "slutty" and "dirty".

The best way to make a woman orgasm during intercourse is not through g-spot stimultion, it is by having a comfortable and open relationship. You don't even have to have a commitment. She just has to feel secure that she can be sexual with you without guilt or recrimination.

Don't ask her about the mechanics of fucking, because a pussy just isn't that terribly complicated. Don't make her feel she has to orgasm to satisfy you, as she will start faking it, and then resent you for it. Just reassure her that you will do anything she wants you to do to pleasure her and that you want to be open and honest with her about your sexuality, and that nothing she could do or want could make you think less of her.

Once your woman trusts you and busts down those mental barriers, you are in for the ride of your life! How quick that happens all depends of how smooth you are! The best lovers in the world are not masters of female anatomy, but masters of the female psyche! Your cock is going to feel great in her pussy, but does she feel comfortable enough to let it send her over the edge?
 
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Good post kong...
 

Smallguy44

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i might have not made myself clear, but i said its understandable that i cant make her cum through penetration, but it takes up to 25 mins for her to cum through oral sex. I was just wondering if that was normal or not, b/c it seems like a VERY long time.
 
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*sigh* 25 minutes of oral is not too long for her to take to have an orgasm, but every woman's different. The same woman's needs also change and are different at different times of her life. Next time it might take 15 minutes, and the time after that it might take an hour. She might not even cum at all, no matter how long you eat her out. Please read my and sikdogg's posts again. We have both been in very long term relationships and know what we're talking about. After living with a woman day in and day out for years and years, you start to understand what makes them tick...a little bit, anyway LOL Men are mechanical. Women are mental.
 

MCTFB

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Dec 4, 2003
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Fact: Alcohol has been used pretty much since the advent of civilization as a drug to help get women to lose their inhibitions and screw less than desirable men. Just as the gun is the ultimate equalizer in a fight, alcohol is the ultimate equalizer when it comes to scoring with women.

Fact: Alcohol makes it harder for both men and women to cum and gives men erection problems. For women it does basically the same thing as the clitoris has more of a problem becoming fully engorged.


So, there you have it why a lot of women have to fake their orgasms and why very often a woman will have problems cuming in casual relationships where alcohol is almost always involved.

For example, my current GF I can get off on average anywhere from 5-10 orgasms easy on any given day but you get some liquor in her and I will be very lucky to get her to have even one orgasm which can be frustrating, but I prefer the honesty to lying so even though women may act sluttier and hornier when inebriated, unfortunately for them the actual sex is more often than not less than spectacular.

Anyways, assuming alcohol is not involved, some women are harder to get off than others. The hard to get off gals still have multiple orgasm potential once you get the first good one off, but that first one can be really stubborn in a lot of women.

What has always worked best for me is my fail safe move I call the "Triple Play" which is a combo of oral/digital play which unfortunately I doubt most guys can pull off in most women because they were not blessed with small hands like I have even though if you ask most women they prefer a guy with big hands to a guy like me with small hands.

Anyways, if your gal is not very tight, I suppose someone with large hands could do the same or else a variation using only one finger from each hand, but this is what I do.

First, start off with good old fasioned oral sex. Nothing too aggressive, just enough to warm her up. No need to explain any further because foreplay is different for everyone.

Once, she starts breathing somewhat heavily but slowly (if there is no reaction, either she is thinking about work she forgot to do back at the office or whether or not she remembered to slip the arsenic in your wine before dinner), take your index and middle finger and slide it in her in the position as you would for G-Spot stimulation. Basically, have one of your hands palms up with your index and middle finger inside her to stroke the roof of her vagina (the G-Spot area). Next take your other hand palms down and put your other index finger and middle finger in her with the backs of each hand up against each other so if you move your fingers you will be fluttering them like wings.

Now, the reason I call it the triple play is because all at the same time and in the same rhytHydromax (rhytHydromax is important in oral/digital combo work), you lick her clitoris, stroke her G-Spot with two fingers on one hand, and stroke her AFE zone while gently applying a little bit of pressure around her posterior fornix (area just below the cervix). Change up the stroking from back and forth with your tongue and fingers to side to side (think of it as trying to erase something on a chalkboard with her vaginal walls as the chalkboard) from time to time but make sure you keep everything in sync. Don't go too fast with this and as she gets closer to cumming, increase the pressure with your fingers and start sucking on her clitoris more aggressively (not faster, just with more pressure). When she is finally on the brink of orgasm, you decrease the pressure applied a bit but rub her with your tongue and fingers as fast as you can like a jack hammer. She will likely try and push your head away after cuming because of the intesity of the orgasm, but don't let her and instead keep doing it but slowly lessen up on the pressure because her clitoris and vagina will be very sensitive.

After you do this, take out the old Polish Sausage and if you have been doing Penis Enlargement long enough, hit the back of that fully retracted cervix AKA the CDS until either you or her is out of steam.

Anyways, this is just what I do. I don't do the triple play that often because you don't want to always be at your best in the bedroom or else that will become the new normal for her and by you spoiling her you will be shooting yourself in the foot because if you ever don't perform up to par, she will think something is wrong with you or else think she is getting bored with you when in reality you just spoiled her too much early on in the relationship.

I only pull out the triple play nowadays in desperate situations or special occasions. With my current gal, rarely is it necessary but I suppose in some women some guys would do anything just to get their gal to cum even 25% of the time.

Hope this helps (-:
 
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Adolf Hilter

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Suggest you get some pot and let her have a smoke up, then an hour later when she is high, eat her and you will see the cum run out of your mouth.
 

deebo

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Sep 24, 2004
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Heres what I posted in another thread. I had the same problems with many of the women I dated, until I discovered a method that works 95% for both oral and penetration..... You can use a variation of what described below but I know it works.. worked on a girl I dated that never had orgasms in her life after being sexually active for several years....

Foreplay and the way it is applied, the mood, and the way you touch a woman has a lot to do with it.... Read my technique, try it and post your results..... again this is what I posted in another thread so as not to rewrite it I cut and pasted it here for you..........


Let me know how it turns out............


---------------------------------------------------------

good tip:

While going deep is something that feeds our ego's, it's not always how deep you go that get's a woman excited.... Depending on how large you are or how tight she is, 3/4 of the way in she be enough to find her G-Spot...

Try this and see how it works for both of you....

Get into slow long and deep kisses while you are in her.. move slowly from side to side and only move it in and out about 1 to 2 inches max..... se how her body responds.. if you feel her moving her feet back and forth or curling her toes, you've hitting the spot... then sloooowly and gently pull it out about 1/2 way and grind down while putting it back in against the bottom of her opening towards her anus, but remember slow and consistant and only 1/2 way in and out about 1 to 2 inches in each direction... this should help you last longer and if done right should bring her close to an orgasm if not over the top.

Second suggestion is to buy one of those tiny vibrators known in the porn industry as a pocket rocket... Ask her to let you give her a massage.... if you've never given a massage here is another good tip... be gentle but firm in the way you press on her muscles, women are fragile... lay her on her stomach and start at her feet.. use some baby oil or massage cream or lotion( baby oil works best) Always keep one hand in contact with her body...

work you way up and make sure you massage her ass and anus slowly, rub your thumbs back and forth in an upward motion across her anus but you have to do it gently and slow... slip the very tip of your thumbs in the hole as you glide by... then tell her you are going to use a small vibrator to stimulate the muscles in her back and her neck, Take the pocket rocket and gentle run it across her body without the plastic cap that comes with it.. run it around in circles with one hand while keeping the other hand in contact with her body. now, begin to use your body like you used your hands and run your chest up across her ass and run your nose and tongue up her back while you are doing this.... after awhile ( 5 mins)Get her to turn over on her back. Start your massage the same way for the front of her body, masages her breasts gently and slowly, but when you get to her waist dont just attack the pussy... form a W using your thumbs and massage the entire area around her virgina...dont not stick your fingers inside of her.... just massage the outside.. put your pointer fingers and middle fingers together and gently massage using your thumbs (W) in a upward motion along her libia... run your fingers around the ood that hides her clit until you feel her pushing her pelvis up towards your fingers as you press down over it... (This pussy is gonna CUM I can tell) Now get the pocket rocket and begin to run it on low around the areas you r just massaged keeping one hand working the area aroung her clit.... when you feel that she is increasing the way she pushes her pelvis up towards you, take the pocket rocket and place it right over the hood....

Now is a good time to get your head closer to her virgina cuase you are about to lick that coochie....it the rocket in place without moving it, using you other hand to conitue to massage the area around it Gently and slowly.. Begin to lick the insides of her thighs... slow and lightly otherwise she is going to stop you... let your nose rub up against her pussy ad you do this... run your nose along the opening of her pussy... all while keeping the rocket in it's place.. if she stops moving her pelvis up and down, back off a little.. if not go to the next step... Begin to run your tongue along te lips of her pussy.. Try not to get too excited or else you will begin to move to fast and too hard.. and she'll make you stop... the idea is to not allow her to realize what you are doing or otherwise distract her from where ever the fuck she is right now... (Heaven)

If she is responding to this well take one hand and open her lips and place the rocket directly on her clit.. keep it still.. or it may hurt her be gentle and dont push it hard... now that her pussy is stread open lick it real slow and gentle... bearly touch it as you go up and down.. she should be good and wet right now.... once you have it so wet that the juices are flowing, move the rocket and begin to suck gently on her clit, short slurps and run your tongue down her pussy and back up again... if she has not cum by this time eat that pussy as long as you can without drying it out. dont suck her clit too hard or too long otherwise the sensitivity level will decrease.. hopefully by now she will have had an earth shattering orgasm from the rocket alone or from you licking her pussy.. if not slide up inside her and do the slow side to side thing and slow grind as described above...
 

joe_bloggs808

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Sep 15, 2004
Messages
390
Great tips mate, like to see your setting the standard for us mere mortals !! LOL

Your right about finding something that works and keeping it for special occasions, if your with a long term partner, or as your power move with a fling. Sexual aids are always something guys should become comfortable with, it doesnt have to be the 12" donkey kong dildo either, personally I like to think simpler, and a good bet is always ice cubes! But be VERY slow and gentle with them though. And placing them directly on the clit is not aslways a good idea. As the guys above have been demonstrating the female body is a treasure trove of sensitivity, much more so than most guys can be bothered to find out most of the time.

Take everything you do slowly and the best thing you can do is play it by ear. See how she responds when you do different things, as Deebo said it is a good sign if she is moving her pelvis around and thrusting, and by far the easiest sign is her breathing, and is always a good hint to what sort of rhytHydromax you should be going at.
 

Gimme9

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Dec 4, 2004
Messages
72
. I read once (or maybe heard from one of those sex therapist call-in shows i can't remember which) that if a person -male or female- masturbates regularly (daily? twice daily? no #s given) they can destroy they're ability to have an orgasm from a partner!

. I actually did this to myself as a horny (at least once a day) teen w/o knowing it; blow jobs - had to jerkoff and give it back just as the O approached, girl on top - never came (not such a bad thing really) only male dominant sex got me off (probably cuz I"M the one in control).

. the reason is this . . . when masturbating your giving yourself what feels best to you, and your recieve the ULTIMATE in positive reinforcement - an orgasm. The problem is if you do so regularly your body becomes conditioned to respond to the same basic stumilus, since most people do the same thing the same way your body essentially learns that (for her) orgasm = two left hand fingers pumping hole at X speed w/ Y pressure + middle finger right hand clockwise circles of A diameter w/ B pressure. I KNEW I'D FIND A PRACTICAL USE FOR ALGEBRA SOME DAY!!! anyway she may have programmed her mind and body to think that THAT's an orgasm and since it's IMPOSSIBLE for another person to reproduce the exact same feeling, anything you do may feel GREAT - but "NOT QUITE RIGHT".


. the solution (If indeed this is the problem), is fairly simple - explain the above to her - unless she masturbates but insists that she doesn't (in which case she has sex=dirty probs that must be solved first), the solution is simply stop mastubating!! it's also not very damned likely SO. . .
. solution #2 is do it diferently - EVERY time. List different positions, laying on back, kneeling upright by bed, sitting in chair (not slouching - too much like laying) standing in shower , on knees doggie style, and use a different one each day.
. Next use the "wrong" hand - but alternate at first say "wrong" 2 or 3 times then "correct" hand once, gradually evenning out once it becomes possible to give easy orgasms with either hand so she's switching hands every day, also if a vibrator or dildo is involved mix that up to. If it's always on the clit use it inside 2/3rds of the time. BUT don't use it every time, alternate the days its used, if one's NOT used GET one to add to the routine.

. The purpose here is to DEPROGRAM her physiologically programmed responce to sexual stimulation. after trying this on her own for a while - that is, when she can make herself cum anywhere, anytime - JOIN her, YOU rub her clit while she does the rest and directs you - faster, slower, softer, etc you hold the vibe for her, whatever. The best part of this phase is two-fold not only is she teaching herself how to orgasm from any sexual stimulation - she also TEACHING YOU EXACTLY how she likes it!! NEVER a bad thing to learn.

DON'T believe? do a web search on Pavlov's dog

hope this is the prob. as it's both easy and enjoyable to solve
good luck
 

Gimme9

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Dec 4, 2004
Messages
72
oh also forgot to add, when she first starts reprogramming, if she simply CAN'T orgasm in these different position or with the wrong hand DON"T switch to the "FAV" position technique! that'll just continue the undesired behavior. And in fact, will REINFORCE it!! (the brain says "Good girl, you did it the 'correct' way now here's your reward") instead if she can't come just let it go and wait until tomorrow to try again, it's hard BUT tomorrow she'll be even hornier and it'll be easier.
 

IHaveAVagina

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Dec 27, 2004
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Smallguy44 said:
So this girl im dating (basically g/f) and I were talking about sexual experiences, and we got into the talk of oral sex. She claims she's never had an orgasm through penetration (which is understandable), and she even has trouble w/ oral sex, and only one guy (long term b/f) has ever made her orgasm. She even went on to say that it would take him 25 mins to get her to cum. Now my question is, is this normal ? I've never been w/ a girl that took that long to cum. Maybe the fact that she's only 19 and limited w/ experiences, but i dunno.....any thoughts ? I know how to locate the g-spot and provide sufficient clitoral stimulation, and blah blah. THink i'll have trouble as the previous guy or if i know what i'm doing i'll get her to cum in less ?


From a woman's perspective: It's very hard to get there. Sorry, it's nothing personal to you.. it'll just take a while or it even might not happen. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I guess just keep trying. I wouldn't get mad if it never happened though.
 
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