Funny websites?



ElCapitan said:
From that site:

They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.
- Hunter S. Thompson, on Herbert Humphrey

His cock is so small, you need an electron microscope to see it.

Here's a tweezers. Go find your cock.

He has an in-grown penis.

If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot.

You could screw mice with that cock.

There is more meat on a vegetarian's toothpick than on your cock.

Go tinkle with your winkle

Men Versus Cucumbers: The average cucumber is at least six inches long.

My vibrator is bigger than that, and it has a higher IQ too.

It's lucky for you that you have a hole in the end of your penis. Otherwise, oxygen couldn't get to your brain.

Sorry, I am not a computer. I won't accept a 3½" floppy.

Cement that gets hard faster than you.

He has an "R" tattooed on his cock - there wasn't enough room to spell "ROB."

You could fuck a hamster with that dick!

His penis smells suspiciously like the ass of a sheep.

His cock is an introvert.

The head on your cock resembles a wart on top of a toothpick.

Ants could use your dick as dental floss.

Is your penis depressed?

Wow! That looks like a penis - only smaller!

I never knew they measured dicks in the negative integers.

He named his penis because he wanted to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes his decisions.

Your cock is so small, you couldn't find it with a telescope and a map.

Is that your dick or have you jammed your finger up your ass?

How do you piss without getting soaked?

Act your age, not your dick size!

I'd castrate you if you had anything to castrate.

He has to stick his dick in the freezer to get hard.

All right! A treasure hunt. Let me go get the tweezers.

If your dick was three inches bigger, you'd be average size.

I've smoked fatter joints than your dick.

The one good thing I can say about your dick is that like all small things, it's kinda cute.

Who circumcised you?*Lorena Bobbitt?

Eww... there's an inchworm on your thigh!

My eight year old brother has one like that.

I'll go and get a tweezers and a microscope so I can find your dick.

Why don't we skip right to the cuddling and the post-coital cigarette?

Ah! A severe case of PPS - Pygmy Penis Syndrome!

You know they have penile extension surgery to fix that.

There's a tower in Italy shaped like that.

Does it come with an air pump ?

Were you neutered, are you cold, or is it just hiding?

You're hung like a dragonfly.

Action Man was modeled on you, right?

Is that an optical illusion or is it really that small?

Haven't you ever done this before?*

Damn! The way you are hung, you'd make a great female impersonator...and wouldn't need the duck tape either.

The way you're hung, you'd make a great lesbian.

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality!

May your bollocks turn cubical and fester at the corners.

Even your Viagra tablets come in miniature size.

A thimble should suffice as a condom for a garden gnome such as yourself.

If you want to know how big my dick is, why don't you send your sister over with a tape measure?
Herman the hamster humper!

He ejaculates in accordance with his endowment: half a raindrop.

Is that a dick? It looks more like a confused tapeworm dangling from a cat's rectum.

His last girlfriend said that sex with him felt like he was trying to pick a lock.


Yeah I love homestar. Hey score, who is that chick in your avatar? Me like.

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