Does anyone know when shit is gonna go my way?

cladre60

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It feels like I'm paying for every mistake I've ever made in life, like mistakes I made 30 years ago I'm paying for now. Nothing goes how I need it to anymore. Like every time I think I'm going up I drop down lower than before. 1 step forward 2 steps back every time.

Damnit life, cut me a fucking break already!
 
Are you directly confronting some of these issues that are "coming back to haunt", or ignoring them until they resurface? Are you able to share details without getting too personal? Maybe as an example, close enough scenarios with different names?
 
Clearly Clad, things have been going your way for a very long time. You have a beautiful wife that loves/adores you, you have a full and robust sex life and you're healthy...everything else is 'gravy'.
 
I'm just stupidly frustrated. Trying to change some really important things and at every turn I'm getting bent over and reamed. Feels like I'm back in the military again. It starts to get to the point that it's just like why bother?

Had a conversation with my dad earlier and I think I used every version of the word "fuck" that I could think of in the first 2 minutes.

Some of the shit that goes on in my life I'm so damn calm over and get through it so it's not like I'm bottling things up and then exploding. When I do blow though there's always a good reason. Maybe things will calm down soon, who knows. I'm just exhausted mentally and emotionally. I have no more fucks to give right now.
 
This may not work for you, but I've had much success breaking down each hurdle to its simplest form and then addressing it from that perspective/point. What this does for me is eliminate all the 'noise' that usually surrounds a problem. Once the 'core issue' has been identified, then you can implement a plan and take action...and that's what we do as men, take action. Make certain that you're eating a healthy diet, getting plenty of quality rest and taking care of all the 'variables' you have complete control over...that way you're fully 'armed' to tackle whatever comes your way. Be the Lion you were born to be!
 
Good Advice Big!

I also, highly recommend D.B.T., this was a life saver for me when I was going through similar things Clad. Here is a link to an explanation. At first it does seem weird but believe me, with practice it is dynamite! Also, spending time alone with yourself, a half hour maybe an hour, quite your mind and pray or meditate. For me, every night, I spend at least 2 hours spending time with my Lord and I do not pray like others, Jesus is my Brother and I speak with Him in the same way I would my Brothers here and it is the greatest help of all.

Here is a link to D.B.T. >>>DBT Wikipedia

I hope this helps and you are always in my prayers!
 
I've been trying really hard to stay positive and it's not easy anymore. It feels like I'm always the one that has to be strong for everyone else and I can't do it anymore. Even when I break things down into the simplest "what needs to be done first" I'm hitting a point where that first step just can't even get done right.

Nothing has ever gone easy for me. Every time I turn around the next challenge is more than I should have to deal with. My strength, patience, resolve, and now faith and any hope of making my life better is all just about gone. I've tried doing things the "right way," I've tried doing them my way, I've tried other people's way of doing things and none of it works. I've set realistic life goals for points in my life yet they're impossible to accomplish. I'm about to hit yet another point in life where I had hoped to achieve 1, just 1, of a few goals I had and in just a few short weeks it'll be another miserable failure and I'm no closer to any of those goals than I was 5 years ago.

Some are my own fault, some are just life fucking me every way possible. I've been tested repeatedly and I'm just sick of it all. If I stop trying then I can't fail anymore.

Maybe I'm just whining and bitching and crying for no damn reason. I dunno. No one around me wants to hear it so I have zero outlet for any of this. I'm just sick and tired of all the damn failure and doing things for others and not getting shit back.
 
cladre60;735036 said:
I've been trying really hard to stay positive and it's not easy anymore. It feels like I'm always the one that has to be strong for everyone else and I can't do it anymore. Even when I break things down into the simplest "what needs to be done first" I'm hitting a point where that first step just can't even get done right.

Nothing has ever gone easy for me. Every time I turn around the next challenge is more than I should have to deal with. My strength, patience, resolve, and now faith and any hope of making my life better is all just about gone. I've tried doing things the "right way," I've tried doing them my way, I've tried other people's way of doing things and none of it works. I've set realistic life goals for points in my life yet they're impossible to accomplish. I'm about to hit yet another point in life where I had hoped to achieve 1, just 1, of a few goals I had and in just a few short weeks it'll be another miserable failure and I'm no closer to any of those goals than I was 5 years ago.

Some are my own fault, some are just life fucking me every way possible. I've been tested repeatedly and I'm just sick of it all. If I stop trying then I can't fail anymore.

Maybe I'm just whining and bitching and crying for no damn reason. I dunno. No one around me wants to hear it so I have zero outlet for any of this. I'm just sick and tired of all the damn failure and doing things for others and not getting shit back.

I'll NEVER pretend to know your story, (or anyone else's for that matter) but there are certain elements that are common among all of us and within our brotherhood there are many who have endured multitudes of challenges/hardships (Mike/DLD's death experience from an overdose of heroin would be the extreme end of the spectrum). What allows a person to overcome and then excel resides in all of us...it comes down to a simple choice. Regardless of all the naysayers and noise, it's up to you to decide...either do it or don't. No harm in doing nothing, but I'm pretty certain your resolve as a man wouldn't allow it.
Perspective is a very powerful tool that you can use as motivation on all fronts...get your mind in that space which allows for clear though and action. Don't succumb to the 'chatter' and don't act with the hope of repayment or recognition...do it for yourself and the good of your family. They deserve the best you that you're able to be and you deserve it too.

Much love, BSA
 
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Big Schwanz Acht;735045 said:
I'll NEVER pretend to know your story, (or anyone else's for that matter) but there are certain elements that are common among all of us and within our brotherhood there are many who have endured multitudes of challenges/hardships (Mike/DLD's death experience from an overdose of heroin would be the extreme end of the spectrum). What allows a person to overcome and then excel resides in all of us...it comes down to a simple choice. Regardless of all the naysayers and noise, it's up to you to decide...either do it or don't. No harm in doing nothing, but I'm pretty certain your resolve as a man wouldn't allow it.
Perspective is a very powerful tool that you can use as motivation on all fronts...get your mind in that space which allows for clear though and action. Don't succumb to the 'chatter' and don't act with the hope of repayment or recognition...do it for yourself and the good of your family. They deserve the best you that you're able to be and you deserve it too.

Much love, BSA

Everyone has a much different threshold of BS they can tolerate before they lose their shit. I have a friend who loses his mind over the smallest things (and I've told him if he doesn't learn to control himself he's going to have a massive stroke or heart attack). When I tell him some of the shit I deal with in my life on a regular basis he doesn't know how I stay calm. I usually can think my way through things and be the problem solver. Well I'm just out of ideas. Don't know wtf to do this time and its a problem I've been trying to solve for a long time. Constant obstacles are thrown in front of me and they get worse every time.

I'm gonna start a gofundme soon that says "help me end my shitty pathetic life...and relocate to where I can do better." I've lost a lot of my motivation and desire to do things to the point I've actually considered going back on antidepressants, which I said I'd never do again. I've been trying to change what I'm doing and where I'm living for a long time, because that would solve a lot of my problems, but it's hard as fuck to do.

We'll see if I get through the next 2 weeks intact. Mentally, emotionally, it feels like this is the hardest and worst month of my life, and I've had some bad ones. I'm trying.... to try.... to try.... to give a shit.
 
Just know that you are never alone now that you are a Brother. You are a part of a family that will never give up on you, we will do whatever it takes to help you be the man you want to be. We are your Brothers and we are here for you!
 
Keep a positive expectation on this!
 
doublelongdaddy;735143 said:
Keep a positive expectation on this!

I'm trying, I just see my window to do what I want to do getting smaller and closing.
 
Big Schwanz Acht;735163 said:
open a new window

Or just get the heck out! If you are in a position where things are feeling as though they are hopeless you NEED to get up and leave. Give yourself a short vacation. Take a long walk in the woods. Drive out top a beautiful place and sit and watch the sun set as you think on the good things God has given you. Sometimes the best way out of a situation is to get out. Time away makes the heart grow fonder.
 
I've been trying to keep a positive attitude. I hate to admit it but I've been getting more frustrated about things lately. I try to stay calm, it's just not always the easiest thing. What makes things more difficult is that I'm always the calm one so if I even start getting agitated she flips and makes everything worse. She wasn't too bad about things this past weekend when I was getting bent out of shape messing with the car (it's been a major source of frustration lately) but I think she's learning to just stay out of the way sometimes. Women don't get it when it comes to men fixing things. Don't go asking dumb questions like "is that going to mess with the lights in the mirror on the visor? Cause I need to be able to put my makeup on!" when you're working on something under the hood.
 
We all have made mistakes and people have hurts us too.Some people never learn i have seen it, they promise they wont make the same mistakes and they end up doing the same over n over even when they have had bad experiences.

We dont learn from some elses brain most of the time..We pay one way or another..We got to see the light at the end of the tunnel:smile:
 
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