Can't maintain erection for PE work, going crazy over here...

I have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS with EQ or maintaining an erection or stamina or anything like that if I'm fucking a woman. Penis + vagina = babies. I can even last as long or finish as fast as I want, by directing my awareness to or away from aspects of sex that arouse me. I'm in pretty good physical shape, too, although my fingers and toes are often icicles even during the Summer. (I guess I'm actually not sure if I have circulation issues, but again I can certainly and reliably get plenty hard during sex).

But then I get into PE, and some exercises require that I am erect. For instance, SSJ and towel raise kegels are both part of my routine. I have two options: ����/mental sexual visualization or no. If I use ���� or even mental visualization to stimulate myself, I can get good quality erections quickly and easily. (Usually not GREAT quality if I've just been stretching, but still). But then I shift focus back to doing an exercise like jelqs or kegels, the frame of mind that got me erect in the first place disappears, and that erection is gone in seconds.

For that reason, among others, I recently switched to this idea of getting erect without any mental stimulation. I just close my eyes and do a mindfulness meditation focusing on the physical sensation of playing with myself, and try to manufacture or fabricate a sense of total confidence. I can typically get erect this way within a couple minutes of actually focusing my mind, but THAT usually takes 20-30 minutes alone, with my brain going everywhere else in the world at a million miles per hour during that time. THEN, once I actually start to do an exercise... I still lose my erection pretty much immediately. And then I'm just pissed off, so it gets even harder to get erect again.

For example, in 6 minutes of SSJ today, I had 30-40 seconds of actual jelqing. I find it insanely discouraging, and I've never even tried to do towel raise kegels except for one workout where I said 'fuck it' and jumped on Pornhub. From a muscular standpoint, the towel raises were easy as pie even with the towel soaked. Too bad I can't stay hard long enough to do more than a few at a time.

Then I thought maybe I just have trouble because I'm doing all of this after stretching, and maybe my penis is just too beat up to easily get and maintain an erection. I don't consider that hypothesis disproved, but I've been taking it easier on the stretching the last couple days (skipped it entirely today) and it hasn't made a bit of difference. Doesn't look good!

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, though. Why would I be erect for this stuff? It's not sexy at all! Should I expect myself to stay erect for it? I have NO problems at all with EQ or maintaining erection in situations where I'm actually turned on, but my sense is that should transfer to PE as well (how else is it possible for people to be doing these exercises??) and I don't get how. Is my EQ or stamina actually crap, even though everything somehow functions just fine for sex? Where am I going wrong?

Tearing my hair out over this, I appreciate any advice or perspective you can give me on this to help me get my head on straight or understand the way forward.

Maybe you’re overthinking this too much. Sometimes we can grab on to something and become obsessed with it and it can really mess with our minds which in turn mess with our bodies. I relied on Viagra quite a bit during my active PE career. 25 mg would allow me to have effortless elections without ����. I simply thought of things that turned me on and I could go for hours. Some people look down on this thinking that Viagra can be addictive but I have two things to say about that. One, it is not physically addicting in anyway by every study done. And two, even if it was addicting I would still use it, I will just plan to use it for the rest of my life LOL

DLD said:

Maybe you’re overthinking this too much. Sometimes we can grab on to something and become obsessed with it and it can really mess with our minds which in turn mess with our bodies. I relied on Viagra quite a bit during my active PE career. 25 mg would allow me to have effortless elections without ����. I simply thought of things that turned me on and I could go for hours. Some people look down on this thinking that Viagra can be addictive but I have two things to say about that. One, it is not physically addicting in anyway by every study done. And two, even if it was addicting I would still use it, I will just plan to use it for the rest of my life LOL

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Thanks for the response, DLD! I'm definitely getting deep into my own head about this, and I should have posted WAY sooner. I've been banging my head against this wall for a good week now and just keeping it to myself. Dumb.

Brawn Johnson said:

Thanks for the response, DLD! I'm definitely getting deep into my own head about this, and I should have posted WAY sooner. I've been banging my head against this wall for a good week now and just keeping it to myself. Dumb.

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That’s what we call OCD LOL we all get it my brother on the way to get out of it is to relax and think on something different. You know you can get rock solid erections so we know it is in your mind. No better solution than 25 mg of Viagra. It’ll cure the OCD it will cure all these other issues. Like I love to say just take a pill LOL I wish that were true in every case because it’s not, but in this case taking a pill is the best way to go!

I'm definitely keeping my mind open to drugs as a nuclear option if I need it. What you're describing sure sounds like a load off! At the same time, I do want to pull my head out of my butt if at all possible, especially if you agree that there's some mental baggage here...

Exactly. A load of your mind big time!

I know what you mean, and it is a pain in the ass for it to occur. For me, it came when I was tired, working too much, and when work was more stressful.

It can be down to your penis as well, simply its tired, and needs more rest.

The mind is either our greatest friend, or worst enemy. Only you will know if work is more hectic atm, perhaps your private life is more hectic? that all has effects on how our penis becomes aroused, because its affecting mood, which affects the penis.

If you think some rest is in order, this isn't a bad thing by the way, simply take a week off from all exercise apart from extenders, which aren't so intense to warrant resting from imho, and they keep the penis healing in the extended expanded state.

Hey Red, thanks for hitting me back on this!

"The mind is its own place..." One thing that stands out to me in particular from your post is the idea of background, 'white noise' anxiety. I'm a small business owner, so work never stops. There's no "coming home." Unfortunately, that means any time I'm doing anything but work is time-I-could-be-working, and I'm always aware of that.

This also means I have anxiety directly related to PE workouts, a sense of guilt because I'm spending 2-3 hrs per day on it and I really cannot afford that. (And this creates a loop because a lot of that time is me trying to focus or doing research like this to try to figure out why things aren't working, which means I spend more time, which means I get more anxious, etc).

I thought about this today during my workout. When I got to SSJ and the time came to get what Big Al calls a 'cold erection' (physical stimulation only, no ���� or sexual visualization), I focused on giving myself permission to do the workout, congratulating myself for sticking with it so diligently, and thinking about how fun the workouts themselves are. I got the cold erection in just a few minutes (big improvement). After that I had pornhub up and ready to go so that once I became erect I could just watch a video to keep it while I jelqed. This time I spent most of the 6 minutes getting in pretty damn high quality SSJ.

I'm not sure if that's a permanent solution, but it's an improvement!

How is your cardio, @Brawn Johnson?

Also, if Viagra is an option, why not a natural version instead of synthetic?

Not easy at all, but sounds like your improving.

Haursen said:

How is your cardio, @Brawn Johnson?

Also, if Viagra is an option, why not a natural version instead of synthetic?

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There’s a synthetic version of Viagra?

Haursen said:

How is your cardio, @Brawn Johnson?

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Thanks, Haursen. Good question! I spend a few hours walking (and I haul ass when I walk) at least 2x per week, so my heart and lungs are certainly not neglected. If I were going to start anything competitive I'd want to give myself a few weeks' plyo training to get in tip top shape. Another way to put it is I'm quite healthy and my vitals are lovely, but I'm not in athletic shape. And if I'm actually aroused, my EQ is pretty fantastic. So I know I'm physically capable of what I'm looking for.

But then I'm left in this grey area where I don't know what the realistic expectations are. How many PE-ers, without the use of drugs, actually 1) have the flawless EQ I'm looking for, 2) on command during PE workouts, 3) and can maintain that while abusing their dicks with things like SSJ 4) without the aid of ����������� or at least mental visualization? SSJ doesn't necessarily need a full erection, but Big Al wants me doing towel raise kegels and right now I just don't see how I can possibly hit the rep targets I'm going for without having to get myself hard over and over and over and over and over and over and etc.

I know DLD and many others do use drugs to make achieving and maintaining erections for PE workouts easier, so maybe my expectations are unrealistic??

Haursen said:

Also, if Viagra is an option, why not a natural version instead of synthetic?

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If I go nuclear option, I would be open to Viagra alternatives.

Brawn Johnson said:

If I go nuclear option, I would be open to Viagra alternatives.

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L-Citrulline, Horny Goat weed. Those two combined could work very well.
Even just L-Citrulline (or L-Arginine if that is available in easier manner) can help with the blood flow and erection quality a lot.

It is indeed quite difficult mindset, getting that erection without certain aides. It can be learned, though. Much discipline is needed, from my point of view.

All in all, I don't see your expectations to be unrealistic. Just takes hard work. And I think you've proven to be capable of that!

I understand your frustration, Brawn, especially during PE or measuring time. EQ can be either shy or flakey. The urge to use ���� is an easy way out however we can overcome!

arkailija said:

L-Citrulline, Horny Goat weed. Those two combined could work very well.
Even just L-Citrulline (or L-Arginine if that is available in easier manner) can help with the blood flow and erection quality a lot.

It is indeed quite difficult mindset, getting that erection without certain aides. It can be learned, though. Much discipline is needed, from my point of view.

All in all, I don't see your expectations to be unrealistic. Just takes hard work. And I think you've proven to be capable of that!

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Cheers, Ark! I'll keep those in mind. And thanks for the encouragement. I waited way too long to post about this on the forum and I let myself start to really get down about it. I'll go into detail below about some mindset adjustments I've made as of today!

Haursen said:

I understand your frustration, Brawn, especially during PE or measuring time. EQ can be either shy or flakey. The urge to use ���� is an easy way out however we can overcome!

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I think we can, indeed, Haursen!

I read through everyone's responses today and made the following mental adjustments:

1. Believe fully that my goal is realistic and possible for me
2. View it as a goal, something positive I'm working towards that will make me more disciplined and better in touch with my body, not something I should necessarily be able to achieve right now (so no problem if it isn't perfect yet)

I also backed off stretching, reducing intensity to 15lbs force on ALL stretches. That was for unrelated reasons (a long-running string of injuries I've been writing about in my progress thread), but maybe the post workout EQ difficulties are due in part to over-training as well.

Today I VERY quickly reached excellent EQ for my SSJ, and had a pretty darn good session without any mental stimulation at all. It still wasn't quite as good a session as yesterday, when I used ���� after getting a cold erection, but it was by far and away the best session I've had without at least thinking sexy things. Big improvement!

I lost that for kegels, had to leave the room to grab a towel and I think the interruption knocked me out of my PE headspace a bit. Too much trouble focusing, so I eventually just let myself think sexy things so I could kegel a bit to push my EQ. Still no ����, though!

I really appreciate everyone chiming in here. Thanks, gentlemen!

Mental mastery is essential. If you fantasize with your mind focussing on your wife and having sex with her. I found this is helpful in getting my EQ up. You can also do nipple play to help your EQ too.

Haursen said:

I understand your frustration, Brawn, especially during PE or measuring time. EQ can be either shy or flakey. The urge to use ���� is an easy way out however we can overcome!

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Yes we can overcome! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!