Bidet toiletes, anus hygiene, bleaching of the anus ... anus chat really!

Some good points here. I think someone should post a good routine for cleansing.
 
Well a colon cleanse is a really great idea if someone has never gotten one. They are fairly inexpensive from online or a health food store, even some regular grocery stores. What it is is basically like supplements you take daily for approximately 2 weeks. Over years and years and years your intestine becomes stored with matter that never fully breaks down and it stores inside of your abdomen for sometimes decades! When you take the supplements designed to break up this toxic waste in your body it flushes itself out of your system and a really nice side effect is your midsection of your belly decreases:) I have heard you can get this build up inside of you from even just taking Aspirin; ever... Well, this is all fine and well and all but you want to have a regular healthy diet regardless afterwards and any time in life. This will keep bowl movements at the correct function which is after each meal by medical standards but I have experienced once first thing in the morning is all that is needed for the entire day, sometimes depending on meals only one other time for the day. I take a regular dose of Flax Seed Oil supplements this is for my other supplements and it also keeps the fluids dismissed. I also occasionally take a diet pill called Abdominal Cuts and this works similarly flushing out fat of my system. This is all fantastic but without a healthy diet it is all relatively useless as it will all replace itself in a short period of time. The good thing about eating healthy and using these supplements is you feel healthy almost always, getting sick less, and having lots of energy, including thinking clearer, passing gas does not smell dreadful, and the best is your ass is not full of shit, bowl movements are normal, and your anus will be a healthier color than dark and stained from an unhealthy lifestyle.

Of course I have lived an unhealthy lifestyle in my lifetime and I have heard you can bleach your anus if you want to lighten it up which is probably what some ��������� do when they have such beautiful and pink assholes. I was thinking to use the Bathmate as a like a douche lol eeeew, that is more a joke and not a recommendation of mine but if someone were to experiment with please let us know how it goes.
 
REDZULU2003;430061 said:
You cant leave it at that :) Provide more info and links if possible

HaHaHaHa, that is all I know!!
I Googled and this was first one I found http://www.bleachbum.com/anal-bleaching-techniques.html, I was going to do this with the rest of my treatments when I was planning on doing ����, but now I will just have to wait until I have a mate to help do it for me, since ���� stars are such dirty sluts!
 
Turnover;430086 said:
HaHaHaHa, that is all I know!!
I Googled and this was first one I found http://www.bleachbum.com/anal-bleaching-techniques.html, I was going to do this with the rest of my treatments when I was planning on doing ����, but now I will just have to wait until I have a mate to help do it for me, since ���� stars are such dirty sluts!


Why the fuck would someone bleach their butthole? Maybe some of those over-abused, ���� whores. I think after they get fucked in the ass enough their butt hole starts to look used up and abused. Dirty hoes!
 
doublelongdaddy;430101 said:
Why the fuck would someone bleach their butthole? Maybe some of those over-abused, ���� whores. I think after they get fucked in the ass enough their butt hole starts to look used up and abused. Dirty hoes!

LoL
 
WOW I have seen it all now. Bleaching shitters ay! Now if that closet skank ho Rihanna started bleaching her turd bucket, every cunt would want a pink rosy arse hole right? Just needs one to make this 'IT' :) Bleaching arseholes ... who'd have believed it. Maybe just MAYBE this is the way guys with dark dicks from clamping and other methods could go? those ingredients, could they work for bleaching a cock? or would it look so pink it be like porky!

What would happen if this was applied to the skin accidentally? worse case scenario you are dark skinned and end up with what look like milk stained pathes around your fucking butt cheeks for Christ sakes!!! how the fuck do you explain this? and in the changing rooms what a cunt you would look like, more so if your black skinned with white pathes on your arse ... looking like a dairy cow almost and the guys would have every right me thinks to tell you get the fuck out that changing room dirty mutha fucka.
 
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This is hilarious http://www.crappersquarterly.com/features/crapping101.htm


Crapping 101

Review our guidelines for courteous crapping and rush up on your crapping skills. First, there are some basic skills that need to be refined before you can become a gentleman crapper.

Skills Development (Pre Crapping)

Scouting
This is a critical skill that will give you the vital preliminary information to quickly analyze the crapping situation, complete a needs/risk assessment, develop crapping scenarios, select a plan of action and begin implementation. There are two phases of the scouting step to be mastered—the external glance and the internal glance.

The external glance is applicable for both commercial and residential use. To execute a proper external glance, bring a combination of auditory, olfactory and visual senses to bear on the situation. Check hallways and passageways to determine any potential external signs of current usage and/or upcoming usage by unwelcome fellow employees or party guests. This can become even more critical in social setttings when there is only one unisex facility available.

The internal glance is more for public facilities with multiple stalls but is important in all situations. This is where you must acertain if the facility is occupied, clean or stocked with the necessary supplies for your upcoming delivery (toilet paper, paper towels, soap, perfume or other sprayable scent, water, etc.). It is important to make sure that you have all of the tools for a successful crap.

Needs Assessment - Risk v. Reward
This is most critical when dealing with social situations, especially if there is someone of the opposite sex around who would not be impressed with poor crapping performances. In this step, you must plug in the information from your scouting and examine the variables. This is the risk and reward stage. How bad do you have to go versus what is the potential for long-term embarassment from friends, family or co-workers. By determining your need, you can then develop crapping scenarios that will allow you to fulfill your mission. Note: Remember, you don't want to be blamed for a foul crap that you didn't make.

Dress
Wearing the proper clothing and footware for crapping is just as important as crapping itself. Skilled crappers wear clothing that is loose fitting so as not to put any extra pressure on the digestive system thereby preventing premature crapping emergencies. Clothing that is easy to remove is important also, especially if you eat foods that generate crapping emergencies. In addition, skilled crappers wear undistinguishable footwear so others will not be able to make positive identifications by looking at the shoes under the stall. Note: Serious crappers always wear underwear so that if they have an accident, they can remove the underwear and throw it away like a diaper and carry on unphased. (Seniors can go ahead and just wear diapers).

Skills Development (During Crapping)

Once your risk v. reward has been determined and you are ready to implement your plan you will need to utilize other skills to ensure success.

Stall Selection
This can vary depending on the type of facility you are entering but a few general rules apply. If you crap in a certain place on a regular basis (i.e. the office), try to find an out of the way crapper, far from ones that guests will use. Also try other floors in your building. The keys to a good crap are privacy and anonimity.

One stall - It is either occupied or not. Weigh risk v. reward and implement plan. If risk is high, find other options.

Two stalls - If none are occupied, select the stall furthest from the door, urinals, sinks or other places where potential crappers congregate unless it is fouled beyond use. If one is occupied, only take the second stall in severe emergencies. Crapping etiquette requires that you give crappers a full one stall buffer unless there is a dire emergency. Don't linger in hopes that the crapper will finish. Leave and either continue scouting for a good return plan or find another location.

Three stalls - Never, ever take the middle stall unless it is a dire emergency or the others are fouled beyond use.

The Cough
When you are occupying a stall, give a little cough to indicate to others that you are there and should be given the courtesy due all crappers. Practice your cough to ensure that it is loud enough and projects past the stall door. Also work on timing. Also give a cough when you enter a public facility. Highly skilled crappers will give you a cough in return to indicate that they are there and know the rules of crapping too. Loud humming or the shuffling of reading materials can be a substitute but is not recommended as it is not very good etiquette. Toe tapping is also quite effective.

Talking
Talking for urinators is within the bounds of good urinating etiquette, especially when urinals are uncomfortably close. However, talking during crapping is a big no no. It is never proper to talk to a crapper or for a crapper to talk to another toilet occupant. Nobody wants to make small talk with someone who has a curly steamer coming out of their ass! Just don't do it!

Reading Materials
This is a brilliant time to brush up on your trade publications or gossip mags. While newspapers are acceptable, they can be unweildy especially in a tight stall. ����������� is never the choice of serious crappers. Erections do not lend themselves to the easing of the sphinctor muscles and the free flow of fecal matter.

Skills Development (Post Crapping)

This is the stage where it will be determined if your crapping venture has been successful. By timing your crap you can escape without others knowing it was you who fouled the toilet. If you can reach the sinks and start washing up you have almost made it. You can always pretend that you were a urinator and had nothing to do with the foulest of vapors eminating from the stall. Of course, nobody will believe you so it is better to get out unseen all together. Note: Serious crappers always wash.

The Bathroom Attendant
This is the most vile of all people because they ensure that no crap could be private or anonymous. If you are faced with a bathroom attendant, try to find an alternative crapping facility. If you can't, then be prepared. The bathroom attendant will expect to interact with you after your crap. They will skillfully turn on the water and squirt soap for you. In fact, by their presence, they actually discourage people from washing. By knowing how to deal with them, you can exact some amount of revenge.

When dealing with the attendant be friendly and straightforward. No need for small talk. Just do your business and get out. However, take revenge on them by using at least three different perfumes or colognes, taking at least three pieces of gum using six towels and two cups of soap. Tipping: Make sure to have a $1 bill ready in a shirt pocket or other easily accessible area so as to plop it into the basket quickly and efficiently. While tipping a person for helping you wash your hands is completely ridiculous, you must way the risk v. reward here. Remember the overall goal and stay focussed and you will be OK. For maximum revenge, wipe your ass with the $1 bill.

Conclusion

While crapping is a bodily function, it can be an art. By learning and using the proper crapping skills and etiquette you too can become a highly-skilled gentleman crapper.
 
I hate to say this, butt nice find...Fat girls could probably get the most use out of this don't ya think?
 
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