Bidet toiletes, anus hygiene, bleaching of the anus ... anus chat really!

S

stillwantmore

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What's it like? I just cannot fathom (get used to or absorb) the idea of a jet of water spraying my asshole ...um...clean? I personally use baby wipes vs. toilet paper because it's much cleaner. I dont even like the geysers of water shooting up my ass hole from the depth charge like shits I take sometimes! So, deliberately spraying down my ass after taking a dump...Hydromaxm...? There must be more to the system though than just using the spray...I mean surely that itself does not remove the dingleberries. There must be an accompaning wipe after ward right? If youre totally clueless about Bidet toilets...here's a good website: www.magicjohn.com

 
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SnakePlissken

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I thought they were to be used on twats.
 

PirateSteve

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OK Still, I will admit to having used a few. The ones I have used have mostly been in places where toilet paper is in rare supply, so it kind of made sense. In my experience, they have worked well, even to the extent of getting those "dingleberries" free. The problem is your ass is wet, albeit clean. So you have to stand around until it dries, or walk around with wet drawers, or use a hand towel (imagine accidental consequences here).

Positive things about a bidet are more on the female side. Ever gone down on a chick who had bits of 🙈 in her crack? Or one that tasted or smelled of urine? Even one that just was dirty or smelled bad? A bidet will get rid of all those pesky annoyances.

I will say that from time to time I have convinced myself to install one on the boat. Some places 🙈 is hard to come by, and saltwater is free. Have yet to actually install one though, but this could be the impetus to get me going.
 

Gardenier90

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Nope, no sirrie, no way I will ever use one of those damn things. Baby wipes? Don't those leave you wet?
 
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you will obviously get your ass cleaner with a bidet than wiping with 🙈 for 1 hour....but you will be wet and have wet spots on your pants...Hydromaxmmmm,not too attractive,but if you g/f tosses a salad (eats your ass), youre clean as a whistle :p :p :p :p :p :p
 
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isn't that a french invention?

We used to have one a few years ago (more like a decade), and I think i used it once (cmon I was like 8). Can't remember though
 
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It's a cultural thing from what I've seen. Arab people seem to use them, even if toilet paper is present. Personally, gimme charmin!
 

C-Guy

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No experience with bidet for me. Its just 🙈 then finish off with baby wipe. No it does not leave ya wet. If it did do you really think they would use them on babies. That would be instant diaper rash.
 

ItsElectric

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Haven't used one of these, but I usually wet the toilet paper, wipe, and then use dry toilet paper to finish it off. LOL Anything else you guys wanna know? ;)

-ItsElectric
 

Gardenier90

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Originally posted by ItsElectric
Haven't used one of these, but I usually wet the toilet paper, wipe, and then use dry toilet paper to finish it off.

-ItsElectric
Are you serious?
 

crazyJLK

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Sep 18, 2003
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hahaha he doesnt know how to use the 3 shells....
 

savageblue

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Not all bidés come with a water jet that sprays your ass from underneath.
Here in Portugal it is a very common bathroom appliance. Only in our case, the model we use comes with a regular faucet (just like you wound find in a sink), with both hot and cold water :p

So, how to use it properly?
1 - Wipe your ass with toilet paper as you usually do
2 - Sit at the bidé, run the water and, using some soap, wash your ass as you would if you were taking a shower . Remember that this step is only to clean your butt off of any "residue" that you weren't able to clean with the toilet paper. So it's not like you'll be getting crap all over your hand (sorry for the graphic image). Besides, you're using soap and water , so it is all clean.
3 - When you're done, dry yourself off using a towel. We usually use towels that are smaller than hand towels. Anyway, once you use the towel to dry your butt, don't use it for anything else other than drying off your ass (and don't share it with anyone else either) until you've washed the towel. This, I believe, is common sense :)
4 - You can pull your pants up without any risk of stains or wet spots, since you're all clean, washed, and dryed out :p
5 - Remember to always wash your hands after this (I'm sure you already do even if you don't use a bidé).

There you go, 5 simple steps. It's just a matter of habbit and I personally find it much more hygenic than not using it (it's a cultural thing, I guess), not to mention you can save some toilet paper too.

Other notes on the bidé:
- you can also use it to wash your feet if you come home after a day's work and don't feel like taking a shower .
- just as it is useful for washing twatts, it is also useful for a guy to wash his dick. Going down on a smelly pussy is one hell of a turn-off, so I think we should also do our best to make blowjobs enjoyable for those about to suck us :p
 
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Well... back on the farm we'd use a Beagle with a warm nose and an eating disorder.
 

Medicating

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How did that work Maxa?

I would actually use a bidet if i had one.
 
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OR....go skinnydipping in Turdfish pond and have 'em nibble ya clean.
Hygeinic AND erotic!
AAaaahhh... country living
 

REDZULU2003

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I dont have a water jet up my ass but instead rinse the paper in the sink and wash the shiet out of my ass and than wipe it dry.
 
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