Approaching – Demonstrate Value and Personality


Active member
Jun 4, 2003
You have nothing, absolutely nothing to expect from a girl to whom you do not demonstrate value and personality. Be it being Mr. Smooth or making her horny with GM or leading her imagination with patterning or simply being you in a great mood, confident and witty which she finds attractive - you have to demonstrate her something about you that she discovers to be of value for her. And she will discover it being of value for her for the simple reason of liking the way that value makes her feel.

So many guys think, that their mere presence and company is of some specific value to the girl - well it is not. If you sport a great face and/or big muscles, then your presence can sometimes be a turn-on for a girl - she likes the way the proximity of your face and muscles make her feel and thus your presence can be of separate value for her. But even the few times that happens, it will wear off fast if it turns out that that is all you have to offer.

Any time the girl is bored, disinterested, turns you down, walks away, rejects you or ignores you - you have simply not demonstrated enough value to her. Demonstrating the right kind of value and personality, the kind that she is especially looking for in a partner is not an issue at this point, you'll get to that when Eliciting values. Right now you simply need to get her attention by taking an educated guess at what she might be interested in - see Good traits to have and develop.

Demonstrating any kind of value and personality from that list of traits will do perfectly fine for starters, and is infinitely better than the "Here I am, this is the way I look (and I'm sorry I'm not better-looking), now please like me" attitude used by most guys (who are also "trying" to be funny and confident etc, but eventually their AFC'ness will inevitably shine through). Which will leave them scratching their heads while the girl walks away and thinking "oh, better luck next time, I'm sure someone somewhere will like me... I hope".

In fact, you are like a traveling salesman, giving girls only a foretaste of the goods and offering them an opportunity to get the real stuff... "if they behave well enough" See the difference with AFC thinking? Which seems to consider that the girls are the "goods" which you might eventually get if you date, pay for dinners/movies and take their disrespect long enough? No, YOU are the goods, but you're not selling to everyone - you offer only to a select group of potential customers. But you don't need to push it, the stuff is for real and you know it, and if one customer doesn't want it, its her loss, another one will grab you gladly.

Just don't forget - nobody will want your goods if they don't even know anything about it. So sample it - by demonstrating value and personality.


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