Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Pain of the Past and How it Haunts us Today

I can't believe I have never done a blog on this subject as it is one of the biggest reasons men get in penis enlargement (PE). In a man's past, even during the years of his early puberty, he may have been made fun of by boys in the locker room for having a small penis. Maybe he was laughed at by a girl he was with about his penis. I have even heard of some boys growing up being made fun of by their families. This does not stop with verbal abuse either. Many men judge themselves, internally, about men they have seen undressing, in porn, in the locker room, etc. They may think these guys look big compared to themselves, they may feel as though they will never live up to sex because of these things they have saw. All of this, and more, accumulates in the male mind and it contributes to the insecurities of new relationships. On a completely non-sexual note, much of this ridicule hurts a man's ability to hold a job, go out with friends, stick up for himself, and a million other parts of the male psyche that prevent a man to partake in normal, healthy life.

I can relate on two levels. First, before I became involved with PE I felt as though my penis was big. Not huge, but big. This gave me great confidence. I was a master of sex, I loved making love to women. I advanced in my work life. At the time I was a sales man and I sold more than any of my competitors. I made great money. I had a house, three luxury cars, the finest clothes, I was living the life of a confident man. The only time I got a strange opinion on my penis was from a stripper I slept with. She said that my penis was big but she knew a guy who was much larger. This kind of bothered me but at the time I knew I could do nothing about the size of my penis so I never let it effect me too much. Out of the more than 100 women I had sex with she was the only one who made a comment to that effect so it was easy to brush off. I thought "well if she said my penis is big but there is someone bigger then I still am big" I took it as a complement of sorts.

My penis confidence followed me through life in almost everything I did. I had a six and a half inch penis and my girth was average (perhaps a bit under). This confidence brought me to some of the best rewards of my life. PENIS CONFIDENCE RULES!

A few years after sleeping with that stripper, I met another girl who was a stripper also. She seemed different though, she was exactly the type of woman I wanted, she was perfect. She confided in me and told me she was with 3 other guys besides me. She also told me I was, by far, she told me my penis was the biggest. This made everything perfect. She was exactly what I wanted.

As time progressed in our relationship she got a healthy dose of conscious and started to come clean with things she had lied to me about. That nightmarish evening brought so much pain it was unbearable. She told me that she did not sleep with 3 guys, she slept with 10. Pretty soon this number slowly went up to a grand total of 107 men and women. She also told me that she lied about me being the biggest, she told me there were two men larger. One she told me was much longer than me but unusually thin. The other, she said was longer and thicker than me. This had my head spinning. I was fucked up. I had no clue how to handle this but like most men I handled it VERY WRONG.

My relationship with her slowly decayed. I allowed these admissions from her to make me a monster. I became controlling, jealous, and insecure. I loved her but I was allowing her past to destroy me. I never realized that her past meant nothing to her. Just like myself, the present is the part of life that is real. The past could, somehow, be a dream. NOTHING...I only believed she compared me on every level to her past. SO FUCKING STUPID! This lesson is one every man needs to learn. If a woman is with you and she loves you, her past does not exist. The only thing that matters to her is the present. I allowed my life to go down the drain.

I started to become more and more agoraphobic (fear of leaving the house). I became obsessed with my penis. I became mechanical in sex only making love in positions that would hide my penis from her. I became fat and my lack of leaving the house made me pale and sickly looking. I started to avoid sleeping with her in our bed and I started to sleep on the couch. I loved her so fucking much but all I could do was push her away because of her past and this is exactly what eventually happened...she left and never looked back.

The trauma I felt because of the complete situation I had gone through crippled me. My mental problems became massive. I had OCD, ADD, and every other disorder classified by letters. My bi-polar disease became very active and I first went through a year long mania where I spent every penny I had, destroyed my home, gave away my possessions, lost friends and countless other things that damaged my life in a monumental way. Even today I am trying to repair the hell of my past. Soon after my mania faded I sunk into a long depression. I paced my apartment (or what was left of it) for weeks on end. I became increasingly unhealthy and I was completely cut off from the world. I was able to continue helping men on the Matters of Size site but this was only because the help these men needed was exactly the hell I was surviving.

Matters of Size started about 1 year into my relationship with this woman and it is obvious why. I first started PE using a site I found online. It was some type of backdoor to a penis enlargement site. The text I read was very basic and direct. I believed some of it but most of it I thought to be bullshit. After a few weeks, then months of training with penis enlargement my penis became larger. She even noticed my increase. This sparked my interest in PE and I dug deeper into the internet. I eventually came across a forum that had a few hundred men that were similar to me. By the time I joined this forum I had already created my own PE routine using exercises I created. I had made a 2" gain in length and an inch in girth. I remembered that the backdoor site I found said that if I did not gain 4" in length and 2" in girth in my first year then I was a failure. I first posted on the board looking for help with the unacceptable growth of my penis. I quickly found out that my gains were unprecedented, I had made gains that this forum found hard to believe. Most men, at the time, made gains of like 1/4 inch in length in a year and they were happy about it. I felt like an outcast but at the same time 100's of these men were asking how I did it. I posted the routine I was using, describing the exercises I created and this is how things started with Matters of Size. Pretty soon many of these men were making gains similar to mine. I continued to push the envelope and create more and more exercises to the point I had enough to start a site. I eventually did this and became a very big success. My success came a few months after Jen had left me.

All during my first few years in PE I suffered from all the insecurities I created around my girl's past. Even after she left these insecurities became worse. I felt just like the boy who was made fun of by a nasty girl about his penis size. I allowed this pain to linger for months and months before attacking it. I had not looked at my penis in a mirror for a long time. I would avoid any view of my penis as I would see it and start obsessing about it for hours. I had no idea that every time I did this my issues got worse but I was uneducated to this type of mental disorder.

I remember the day I said FUCK THIS! It hit me in the face like a ton of cock:) I realized I had become a man that was nothing like the confident person of my past. I had realized that I allowed my silly insecurities to drive off the best woman I had ever had. I realized my life had become a 10 x 8 room absent of human life. I remember how I denied my own child of time he needed to badly because I was giving all of my time to suffering. I had realized many things and I hated what I saw.

I also realized that having a bigger penis, much bigger than anyone my ex-girl had ever had, did nothing to change these problems. I had a gigantic penis but I had miniscule confidence. Even though thousands of men looked at my pictures and could not believe how large my penis was, I could not accept the compliments. I believed I was a failure. I would give away the gains I have made to get the woman I love back...unfortunately neither of these things are likely to happen today.

What could I do? Well, I increasingly realized that not only did I feel this way, thousands of other men felt this way. They suffered in some degree to the pains of their past. They allowed a past comment or vision destroy their self confidence. Just like what I did for penis enlargement I needed to do for mind enlargement. I knew that if I wanted to help myself I had to help these men. I dedicated almost all of my time, after Jen's departure, to mental penis enlargement. This was a phrase I coined covering the gap of physical penis size and mental penis size.

Some men had a small penis, they were ridiculed for it, they somehow endured this and found PE. Other guys were more like me and had a situation that destroyed the confidence they always had, some men were massive in the pants but still suffered with self degradation. I knew this was the main problem in male sexuality, not penis size. Of course, any of us would kill for a bigger cock and when this did happen for guys many of them saw it as a bitter sweet victory. Just changing their penis did not satisfy the desires they needed so eliminate the pains of their past and to realize they now had a large penis and a large mind.

A typical story along these lines is this one. I have changed the names for obvious reasons.

Hello DLD,

My name is Brian and I have a few things to ask you. Sorry about my English, it is my second language. When I was a teen I had a day when I was able to have sex with 3 women at once. I was with 2 friends of mine and they both were going to help me. When it came time to pull my hard penis out I did so. The 2 other friends pulled their penis out too. They wer much larger than me. They made me look so small. I felt so hot and wanted to run. When the girls saw my penis they laughed at it. They told me I was tiny. I felt so sick in my tummy. I thought I was going to cry. My body was so hot and I made up an excuse to leave the room. This was the 1 time I tried to did sex and after this time I had problems forever. I have avoided being in sex or even friends with women. I finally found a woman who has been my girlfriend for a bit of time. I love her and she loves me. We have not had sex yet but I tell her that we should wait for sex to make it better grand. This is a big lie from me. I keep waiting because I think she will laugh and leave as it was with the girls in that time who laughed at me. I found your site and I am hopeful but I also am scared it is not work and I will waste time in your program. Dos your penis enhancement work? I know that a bigger man penis would make me happy to my best. I knoew that I will forget about those very bad ladies who had laughing at my penis. I am about 5 inches long and I am not sure how to measure this girth but my fatness seems ok. If I had this 9 inch penis I have heard and saw on movies, I would be happy and able to have love with my girl. Can you help me in doing these things?

Thank you


This letter is heartbreaking! It shows a pain and struggle that is more difficult than every other insecurity men will ever face. These stories make me cry, I feel so empathetic and sympathetic because I have lived them myself millions of times over, I have felt these stories through the endless email, phone calls, private messages and letters I receive. This problem is an epidemic. An epidemic that is more destructive than most cancers! The psychological impact of a simple word like "small" from the right person can literally cripple a mans ability to live a happy, healthy life.

I wish that insurance covered these things but sadly the penis is a bad, bad thing and should not be talked about or thought about at all. What fucked up beings we are to classify a penis in the group of shame when we classify our minds in the realm of pride. If we have any faith that we have been put here from some type of God then I truly know that God would weep at the shame we direct at the penis, as a universal people, that allow it to degrade the male psyche!

Changing these things in our self requires a balance so precise it is rarely met by men who pursue PE. The balance is PHYSICAL and MENTAL and it follows an identical need for enlargement. Lets look at things this way, just for laughs. My mind is 4", way below the average mind of 5", this has bothered me for some time. A girl even laughed at my mind, when I was 16, telling me I was soooo small in thought. This type of abuse happens to me all the time. My mind seems so small that I am scared for anyone to see it. I would kill to have 3 more inches of mind. I know this would make me happy.

Take out mind and snap in penis. We have the balance I speak of. Enlarging the mind whilst the body on equal levels will produce the penis (mind) you have always wanted (needed).

Time is a funny thing. I could be trivial and say "Time is an illusion" but this does not explain my view of time within this post. In the understanding of this post we must view time as a three part entity; PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE. This seems obvious but it really is not. This entity of time is mixed up. It believes that the PAST is the PRESENT and the FUTURE is the PAST. Follow me now. PAST is the PRESENT: The men who allow the pains, sufferings, humiliations and ridicule of their past dictate their present, they are living in the PAST. So why is the FUTURE is the PAST? The man who lives this type of life can only see his future as repeating his past. I hope you understand what I am saying as this does not only apply to the dick.

Acceptance and living in the moment helps me avoid allowing yesterdays disappointments from interrupting my the present happiness I feel. When I live in the moment every thing is OK. I can do anything in the moment and I now realize that each moment I take full advantage of will change my future. I stand in front of the mirror and this is my present. I see a man, he has parts I like and others I loath. He is tall enough, his face is unique with blue eyes and thickish lips. His nose looks to be broken a few times, this is a good thing. His body is fine. My body gets bigger and thinner, muscular and pudgy, but it is always consistent *sarcasm*...Laugh now!:) My eyes see all parts of this reflection but the region of male sexuality. I finally get up the courage to look and I see a penis. THIS IS IMPORTANT! Sometimes I would see a big penis, sometimes it really made no difference and sometimes I looked small. Within that sentence alone we see a contradiction of the things. If I can look at my penis in the mirror and see 3 completely different versions of it then I can't completely trust my mind. This may be a mental dysfunction that is the difference between seeing who we truly are or seeing a mentally defective, self delusional version of who we are.

We start to realize that we can't completely trust our eyes. We can never be completely sure that what we see is real or trickery. As time passes this gap widens. We now cannot tell if a stunt in a movie is real or fake. How are we expected to believe pictures on the internet, movies on the internet? There is computer software now that can change video, there is programs that can edit a photograph to be whatever the artist chooses to show. Our eyes even become deceived by a magician at a school talent show.

Every image we see, lately, is questionable. In the 70's if you saw something it was real. Photo, video or even sketches (human trust) were accepted as being real. The Lock-Ness Monster, The Ice Man, The Big Foot, they all existed and were rarely doubted...these images were real. At the time we could not calculate who believed these things but our imagination, hopes and faith conjured up beliefs of optimism. The internet really strips us of mystery and reality discovery. If we want to know how big the biggest penis is we simply go to Google and search for it. We will get back 140,000 results on the topic. The first 10 sites in the list get clicked on and the viewer believes their claims. Site 1.) The biggest penis is 16"...Site 2.) The biggest penis on record is mine, 10.5 inches...Site 3.) The biggest penis on record is 9"...and each site down the list gives their opinion of the question. We, now, in the 2000's, know that we can find the answer to every possible question by searching the internet. We may surmise that the largest penis was 10" and this is what we will set to memory forever. The thing I am stressing here is that in the 1970's we never knew for sure. This lack of knowledge allowed our minds to venture,blindly into imagination to truly know (and believe) the answer. The only breasts I knew, for sure, were ones I saw in a 1979 Playboy. When I first saw real boobies, this image I had seen, in that Playboy, was the standard of my beliefs and I judged all women by it. I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS A VARIETY OF BOOBS AS BROAD AS I NOW SEE ON THE INTERNET! Today boobs are in billions of viewable varieties.

Today we have options. We no longer need imagination, someone only needs to type a phrase in the search engines and surf the results. The things we see now, online, show us what life is (even if it is in 2 million ways) we see life as we believe it should be and we hold ourselves to those standards. In the 70's the only standard you had with male sexuality was a peak at your Pop's or a glimpse of a dirty magazine. Things have changed so much. They seem as though they have gotten better but in so many ways they seem to have gotten worse (less valuable). There is a generational gap that is wider than Evil Knievel's most dangerous jumps. We have gone from imagination to complete understanding (or so we think). We are starting to lose the ability to imagine things within ourselves to worshipping a computer that instantly shows us what is {REAL}. Is it real?

In 1972 we did not have Photoshop. We had reality. We did not have Final Cut Pro, If we witnessed a 10" penis in person or through video or photography we believed it was real. It had to be real...we saw it right in front of our eyes. Adobe did not exist. Silicon was used more for lubrication than is was for education. We had to have an imagination. For the most part, we guessed what a big penis was and held ourselves to those self realizations. Things rarely became confusing. We only fell off course when we saw a John Holmes film:)

Today we hear the nastiness of our past and allow it to destroy our present. Looking, to see, the average size of a penis by watching a Mandingo film would be one of the things we do to destroy ourselves. We are never willing to accept the reality, we choose to accept popular web pages. So many guys come to me and say that they have a small, 5", penis. When I tell them that most men have a 5" penis they do not believe me. After all, Mandingo has 10".

When a scale is created with percentages it reflects the average finality through a fair cross section of participants. When we hear that 90% of men fall between 5 and 6 inches...we need to trust that the scaling system is fair and correct. I can tell you that the scaling system is fair and correct. With a total balance of all surveys, online, about penis size (including the Kinsey Report) and every other reputable penis size survey, we see a definite trend of average penis size. Between all studies I have averaged, average penis size is 5.1886" in bone pressed length and 4.79992 inches in circumference girth. Men who are above these measurements are considered "above average" those who fall below are considered "small" not quite fair, huh? Anyway, just allowing men to know what average size is, size that belongs to 90% of the men in the world, 5" inches in length and 4.7 inches in girth (average) should help 90% of those reading to see that they are not small, they are at or above average.

Some men may never see the "average size" as being acceptable to them as they fall below average. This is OK and you are not much different than those men who are at or above all suffer from a mind dysfunction, not a penile one.

I say this as making the penis bigger is SIMPLE. It is so simple that most men will never try it. Men will see their penis as being just as their arm, never believing that if they stretched it, it would grow. I can get really technical and explain things like some boring urologist or I can keep it, DLD, simple. A penis has no bones. There is no permanent, unchangeable structure in the penis. It is medically known (and practiced medically) that a.)skin, b.)vascular entities c.)bodily tissue and muscle can easily be elongated and thickened through external (and internal) manual efforts. Simply put, the penis is a flesh bag with some veins, blood, skin and tissue. All of these things are stretchable and the fact that the penis engorges in blood naturally during an erection tells us that the penis can easily be increased in width, girth and circumference.

Penis enlargement is EASY. Let us never compare this type of advancement to that of those who suffer from the mental dysfunction I call PDD (penis dysmorphic disease). Those who suffer from PDD will never completely be satisfied with PE gains until they have changed their mental gains.

Lets face it, people will be cruel, even honest, but when someone makes a comment about you it is """THEIR"""" opinion, not the world's. Judging yourself by a situation or two that was unpleasant and possibly degrading, does not dictate your future.

Check this; A guy meets a chick and asks her to come to his place. She agrees and when she arrives sex ensues. She states that his cock is small. He has never heard this but she just said it so it must be true. She leaves and he never sees her again. He tries to date again. He gets the chance to fuck this 23 year old college student and when it comes time for sex he can't get an erection. He is so consumed by the haunting of his past that he has allowed it to be his present. Even if the chick had been with a 2" guy that she believed was gigantic, and saw him as a massive monster, it did not matter. He has decided that he was small based on .0000000000000001 % of the populations opinion.

This type of confusion is omni-present in male, sexual enlargement. Men never know what big is, they never know what small is...hell, many of these these guys never know how many balls they should have.:) The most basic way I can give advice on a mental and physical level is this: (remember that I am being COMPLETELY HONEST!) Making your penis larger is simple so being "too small" does not mean anything. If you are too small do the exercises and get big. To those guys who sit on the fence of big and small...JUMP OFF> >>> If you are on the fence it means that you are undecided. All you need to do is decide to change your life and be willing to do the work, both mental and physical, to get what you want.

Make your dicks bigger. You can do it for free, just read my BLOG or surf my free forum. You will find everything you need to know to make it happen. if you can afford it join my $49.95 lifetime members site and I will give you my program. You will see my exercises and routines, the very ones that built my website and gave me length and girth beyond reality! You will learn what you need to to get larger balls, a bigger head, a thicker shaft, stronger erections, more vascularity, I can give you the cock of your dreams. You will see me on video showing you step by step how to do the exercises correctly and I will hear me describe everything I am doing. But I will never start or stop with that. You will also gain access to my mental penis enlargement archives giving you the information you need to enlarge both your mind and penis giving you the best chance of changing your past and creating a future of confidence and sexual prowess.

If you want a larger penis and you are suffering from the pains of your past you need to open up space in your damaged mind and allow yourself to create the man you have always wanted to be. PE is easy, sync up your emotions to this and create a perfect self. You were never small, nor will you ever be big...these terms are relative and judgmental, they cause destructive issues. You are a intelligent, thinking man with a penis. If you choose to make yourself better than follow this threads message. When your mind becomes HUGE so will your penis will follow suit.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Fast Gainers and Slow Gainers: Why Men Gain at DIfferent Rates in Penis Enlargement

All my time in penis enlargement has taught me many things. I have met many men who have wanted to enlarge their penis and if I had to create a spread sheet of questions and concerns most of these men would have identical stats. I literally answer 100's of questions a week and for the most part they are the same group of questions I have been asked for the past 7 years: Does penis enlargement work? How long does it take to gain an inch (2,3, etc.)? How do I start penis enlargement? How much have you gained? How often do I do my penis enlargement routine? and the questions go on. I have answered these questions so much that I could easy create a database of answers and save myself allot of time, something I would never do. I take allot of pride in answering men's questions and concerns on a completely personal, individual level. I never get annoyed with the repetitive nature of their curiosity because I was just as curious, at one time, myself. The most perplexing inquiry is, "Why do some men make fast penis enlargement gains while other make slow or no penis enlargement gains?" The answer to this question is elusive in many ways.

I have always been a fast gainer. In my first year of penis enlargement I gained 2" in length and an inch in girth taking me from a 6.5" x 4.75" penis to 8.5" x 5.75"...A massive increase and it happened relatively quick. I think my first inch gain happened in the first 2-3 months. My total gains have exceeded 4" in length and 2" in girth making me not only a fast gainer but one of the largest gainers on record. With such good luck in the penis enlargement game I stated to wonder if there was any luck really involved.

Recently I was asked the question again on my penis enlargement forums. Men started to post there opinions and experiences and the terms "fast and slow" gainers started popping up. I really pondered this issue quite a bit. I posted a short opinion on the subject but I think the inquiry needs to be further explored.

What comes to mind first is two words; INTENSITY and FORM. First intensity is something that is almost impossible to convey. People ask "How hard should I stretch?", "How much force should I Jelq with?" and good questions about intensity. Giving an answer is very difficult, if not impossible due to the personal nature of penis enlargement. I know how intense I train, I feel it, I know exactly the grip and force to use when doing penis enlargement exercise. Telling someone this is near impossible without being in the room with them pulling their penis for them:) Funny but true.

The other problem is form. Understanding penis enlargement exercise and executing it with skill (and intensity) is also extremely difficult to convey. Again, I know my form is perfect as most of the exercises I use are exercises I have developed. I try to explain penis enlargement exercise as best I can and I know many men understand and most likely practice these exercises with precision but I can't help wondering how many men are doing the exercise completely wrong. If someone tries to Jelq their penis and they are doing all or part of the exercise wrong, they most likely will not gain (depending on the error). Every once in a while I will see a video of someone doing penis enlargement exercise and I can internally critique it, in many cases it is being done incorrectly. I wonder how many men watch these types of videos and learn the exercises wrong. Good form is vital to good gains.

When we examine the topic on speed of gains and we explore the aspects of form and intensity it becomes easy to see that most of the issues with gaining probably lurk in these two factors. I wish there was some way of being there in person to give private tutoring but this would be almost impossible for me. I have trained men in person but this is something I charge quite a bit to do (for obvious reasons.) I know that after I spend a few hours teaching the art of penis enlargement in person these men leave my home with complete understanding of proper intensity and form, an every man I have privately tutored goes on to make incredible gains. Previous to my personal mentoring these men had struggled with making gains but after the session they quickly change into fast gainers. This lends credence to the factors of form and intensity.

Seeing the exercises done correctly on film is the next best thing to private tutoring. When I was creating the Matters of Size DVD I was adamant about comprehension. I wanted to not only show my exercises in multiple views but I wanted to get across, with as much clarity as possible, the intensity someone should use. When I was building the members site I insisted on creating additional sound files on intensity to give better understanding to the video, word instructions and illustrations. Even though the video had sound I felt as though it only gave one perspective on the topic. I felt as though doing sound files, outside of the video explanations, where I could educate men with a different perspective, would bring them to a higher understanding of intensity.

I think it is vital that men pursuing penis enlargement take part in a video program. It is extremely inexpensive and worth every cent. My DVD has more than 100 exercises and 5 penis enlargement routines. It contains multi-view angles on almost every exercise. There are medical quality illustrations, concise text and studio quality sound bites. There is also, in addition to this BLOG, a users forum that has more than 100,000 members sharing and exchanging ideas and concerns. Outside of personal tutoring this is the best alternative. Some men will understand penis enlargement exercise with completely and never need anything more than text explaining it and these are the fortunate guys but other men will struggle with this. Having the proper understanding of any penis enlargement exercise is vital to making the gains you desire. Visit:

In closing, I think the difference between the slow and fast gainer is knowing the force and intensity of the exercises and using the proper techniques with skillful form. You can go from being a slow gainer to fast gainer and it may be easier than you think...explore your options and partake in what is available.

I hope this has helped.


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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Want a porn star dick? Do a porn star film!

It has long been a fact that porn uses many camera tricks, special lenses and special filters to make a penis on film as big "visually" as possible. Many of us watch these porn movies and see men who look massive. We look at them and say, "damn, I wish I had a cock that big!" But to our surprise, many of you are as big, or bigger than allot a these porn stars you envy. It is hard to believe because it is visual, it is in front of our eyes, we see it right there on film but a 2d world is much different than a 3d one.

Many of us will look in the mirror and see our penis as part of our body. We may have big hands, a large build or some other factor that lessens the size of our penis visually, but we are the size we are (although for most of us it's getting bigger all the time). You can also look at someone like Mandingo who has a huge penis and a tiny build...his penis looks enormous. There are many factors that can make the penis look bigger or smaller than it really is and the size we see is not always the size we are.

This visual defect is difficult to shake. We may see ourselves, in the mirror, as the man we used to be. It is difficult to change our self-view, especially when it comes to the penis. I remember growing up as a very skinny boy. I used to look in the mirror and feel so sad that I was so thin and I would envy all of the more muscular, bigger boys. I worried so much about what girls thought of me. I was convinced they saw me as a wimpy, skinny weakling. I felt inadequate and regardless of what I really was, my mind saw a definite image of a boy who was skinny, weak and pathetic. I remained thin until my early 20's. I quit smoking around this time and I packed on 80 pounds! I gained a ton of weight and it was all around my waist. I looked like an Ethiopian, malnutrition child:)

I was 80 pounds heavier and I knew it looked unattractive but I was not sure what to do. I had to either settle for the body I had or do something to look better. I decided to try to change the fat into muscle and I joined a gym. I quickly became obsessed with body building and had a much better body in no time at all. I started to look muscular, manly and every other good male quality. WIthin a few months I had an incredible body, I was big and muscular (just like the boys I used to envy. What did I see in the mirror? Anytime (every time) I would catch a reflection of myself I would have a quick mental response to see a skinny, pathetic boy. No matter how muscular I got I never could shake the image I had burned into my brain. The man in the mirror was the skinny, pathetic boy. Everyone around me, my friend and family all would tell me how big I was, how muscular but I was never able to take that compliment. I had a much tougher person to impress and that person was me.

Why do we see ourselves as something were not? Why do we hold ourselves to standards that we would never expect from someone else? Why do we spend so much time putting ourselves down? This self view stuff can become a full time job. It is hard enough to deal with with our outward appearance but once we bring the penis into the mix we have to work overtime to cut ourselves up. I sometimes think many of us are addicted to suffering and this is why we try to destroy our self view. Who knows for sure but it is a very real problem and most men deal with it on some level.

Years have passed since I went from skinny to fat to muscular and I have learned allot about my self view. Today I am pretty much regular, body wise. (a nice place to be). The strange thing is every now and again I still see that 90 pound weakling...go figure.

For much of my childhood, during puberty, I saw my penis as being too big. When mostly grown my penis was about 6.5" long and my girth was average but that penis on my skinny body most likely contributed to thoughts that my penis was too big. I knew that I was bigger than the other boys I had seen naked but it never really struck me as a big deal. I felt this way for most of my life up until about 7 years ago. I had been with many women and most of them complimented my penis but when I started to date a girl who had been with many men in her past my self view started to change. I would obsess about how many guys she was with and how many of them were probably much bigger than me. Even though she would tell me I was big it made no difference. I was convinced she was just saying it to make me feel better. I remember one night she told me about the two biggest men she was with. I listened with complete envy and even though she told me I was about the same size I could not shake the thought that I wasn't. Today I realize that at 6.5" is way above average and she was most likely telling the truth. I wish I could have reacted differently and had more confidence but I did not and that is the reason she left me. Regret always comes a day late, right?

I am very aware that if I never went through that pain and suffering I would have never created Matters of Size. A sort of alchemy but I suppose most of the losses and gains in our lives live by this balance of transformation.

I spent much of the last 5-6 years building MOS. I have created many penis enlargement exercises. I have made gains in penis size that are beyond incredible. I have physically changed my penis size. It is now beyond above average, it is in the 99 percentile of the biggest penises out there. On any other guy my penis would look massive but on me, for much of this period, it looked just as it did before penis enlargement. The insecurities I picked up while dating that girl stuck with me and it ultimately became part of my self view. I still get that negative picture of every now and again when I see my reflection. For the longest time I would avoid mirrors completely. I knew if I saw my penis in the mirror I would be spending allot of time obsessing about what it looked like...something that could take hours. Looking back on this makes me sad. I spent allot of time self-suffering. I waisted valuable moments on further reinforcing the negative way I saw myself.

This type of body dysmorphia can be crippling. It can slowly destroy many things in your life that are really important. The penis is not the entire male world, it is a small part in many senses. On average, most men, who have penis issues, actually use their penis less than 5% of the time but it takes up 95% of their thoughts. This type of obsessing will ruin your relationships, interfere with your work, eliminate quality and fun from your life and many other negative consequences. But even with me telling you this, many of you will go on with this negativity as you are addicted to it. So what are you to do?

For those that "think" or really do have a small penis there is penis enlargement. You can make your penis as large as you like. Penis enlargement will help it get longer and thicker. It will help you with impotence, pre-mature ejaculation and many other sexual wants and needs. The thing that penis enlargement will NOT do is change your self view. A nice analogy to this is mental health. Lets say a psychiatrist sees a patient suffering with Bi-Polar disease. (Bipolar disorder (BD) is a type of mood disorder. It is a psychiatric illness that causes major disruptions in lifestyle and health.) Lets say that the doctor prescribes the proper medication to help control this disorder. Even if the patient takes his medication and the chemical imbalance that causes BD is corrected the patient will still be ill. The medication, like physical penis enlargement, is only one part of the tools necessary to recover but if the patient does not do cognitive work he will never completely recover. So for many guys, you can do penis enlargement until you are blue in the face and massive in the pants but until you change the way you see yourself and your penis the gains you make will never be of much value. As a matter of fact penis enlargement may make your penis-self-view worse. This is why the cognitive portion of any life changing event is imperative to complete success.

Cognitive change, pertaining to the mental processes of perception, memory, judgment, and reasoning, is vital to the emotional and volitional processes. Without a mental change in self view physical change is worthless. The only reason I can make this statement is because I have lived it for most of my life. Making a complete emotional and volitional change one needs to put in effort. It is not a quick fix. If you have had a 5 inch penis for all of your adult life adding 2 inches to it will not make it real to you until you truly see it. We need to throw away the mental garbage, empty our emotional trash and replace it with self love and confidence. I happen to be Bi-Polar and for a long time, with the proper medication, I was seeing no change. It wasn't until I started seeing a counselor and started working on the cognitive portion of my illness that I saw any real change. Today I am a very happy, well adjusted, mentally stable person thanks to the medication but mostly thanks to my emotional work I have done.

In penis enlargement I made huge gains, measurable gains, real, physical change. So many men would tell me how they would kill to have a penis like mine. So many men who suffer with obsessive issues come into penis enlargement and really believe it is going to fix their problems once they make their penis bigger. When they don't feel better after making their penis larger they feel helpless, their issues become much broader. Just like myself, they can not see through the scars of their past. They can't see the change they have made, they are emotionally blind and stuck in their past self-view.

This problem returns over and over and until something is done it will grow larger and larger (not the penis, the negative self view). I like to look at this thought process as a monster. When it starts off it is small, almost non-existant but as time goes on we feed it with emotional negativity until it becomes much bigger than us. It is not until we starve this monster that it will leave us. Every time you look in the mirror and have a negative thought, every time you watch a porn and compare yourself negatively to the actor on screen, every time you hide your penis in the locker room, every time you have sex in the dark to avoid your partner seeing your penis, with every bit of this negative, emotional food we fatten the monster. This monster loves living in us and will never leave until we go to war with it and completely destroy it. Discrediting the thoughts, positive affirmations, rational self analysis, cognitive therapy all of this denies the monster from life and eventually it will be at bay. But as I have said, this is not a one time fix, it is a daily fight. Obsessiveness is chronic.


After my girl left me I was at the height of my self degradation. I hated what I saw in the mirror, I was convinced my gains were only an illusion, I only saw the man I was when I saw my reflection. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much penis enlargement I did, the haunting was ever present. I was at wits end and I knew it was either sink or swim. I sat down one day, view my life, saw where my head was at and I realized my self view was the source of my inadequacies, not my body. I looked at how much I lost because of this obsessiveness, I looked at where I could be if I never allowed the monster to overshadow me. I was fed up and I no longer wanted to hurt myself.

The first thing I did was forgive myself for not only the pain I gave to the people around me but myself. I had hurt so many people around me because I had spent so much valuable time on a problem that was purely an illusion. I could not say sorry to my girl because she was gone and that was the hardest place for forgiveness. Eventually I came to peace with my indiscretions and the process began. I wanted to see myself as the person I was not the fabricated figure created from insecurity and complete irrationality. Simply looking in the mirror and telling myself I had a big penis would not work, I needed to see this image in my mind. The first thing I trained myself to do was look, accept and move on. This is a very good tool with self view and obsession because it denies the monster of it's livelihood. For instance, I would step in front of a full length mirror, look at my body while nude, have a thought and step away. The thought I had was final and I would not permit myself to further explore it. I had to accept it, good or bad. This was probably the most difficult thing to do because I used to look in the mirror, see my penis, have negative thoughts and stand there looking until the thoughts would change to something acceptable...that was punishment. Allowing myself to sit with a feeling, even f it were negative, was imperative towards destroying this monster. At first I struggled. I wanted to make my physical view as something acceptable,l obsessively, but this had to change. Eventually my ritual of mirror self-attack was replaced with mirror acceptance. I realized that some times I liked the view and sometimes I didn't and this taught me that my own self view was not very reliable. Soon I was able to look at myself and really "see" myself...not my penis. What a revolution this was, I felt as thought a million pounds of weight was released from my back. I now look in the mirror and see Mike, a handsome, deserving, adequate, healthy, and competent individual. Yes, I have a penis but it is not the star player in the silver.

This type of practice helped me get to a level of acceptance and as many know acceptance is the first step in change. I next started to seek out reality on the internet. Side note: It is funny how we now have a internet of information, images and video that show us what the world "should be". When I was a child, the closest thing you could get to what the rest of the world saw as "real" was a dirty magazine. Today we have millions upon millions of outlets to show us what "reality" is...this is kind of scary. Anyway, I accepted myself as who I was and I now needed to credit myself for who I have become. I felt great about the forgiveness I granted myself but now I needed to feel proud of the changes I had made. I had written down every thing I felt was wrong about the people I had hurt and I had changed those things. I had become a better person because of the pain I put others, and myself through. This felt great but now I wanted to feel good about the penis I had created. I felt as though my eyes had a clear view and I wanted to clearly see the massive size I had created. Measuring myself, posting pictures, looking for validation from my piers never helped. I would feel good for a while if they gave me compliments on my penis size but it never lasted...I needed to believe it myself.

I would watch porn and see these incredible films where men would look massive, then every once in a while you would catch a view from the camera that showed their "real" size and I knew I was beyond this. How was I going to change my acceptance into pride? One word: isite. To many this may mean cam, or some other video connection to your computer (fuck, I guess it could even be a cam-corder outside your computer) but the idea struck me as valid. I decided to set up my cam for self view. I put my cam in a perfect angle, an angle that gave me the best possible view of my penis and I commenced to masturbation. I found a wonderful program that records online video and I set it up and put my cam in the background. I recorded myself while I went about my normal masturbation rituals (which can take up to an hour or more when I am feeling sexual) and forgot it was recording. Half way through my masturbation ritual I remembered the video. I stopped and wondered what I looked like. I was really curious to what my penis would look like in an optimal, sexual position. To me complete joy I watched the video and I was blown away. I looked huge, everything I ever hoped to be and more. I watched the recording over and over and each time it blew my mind. I could not believe what I saw and I could not help wondering that if I had a "professional" take the same video If I would be LARGER THAN LIFE. This simple exercise truly cured my negative self-view. I could not deny what I saw on film. I know I have shot hours of PE video but this was different, this was sexual and what I saw in this light was incredible and I knew that this is what others saw. It changes my self view almost immediately. I not only saw myself as competent, I saw myself as huge! I even started to compare myself to those I previously felt envious of and it was night and day compared to the negativity I felt with the man in the mirror.

Today the mirror does not scare me, even when my thoughts are bad. I know that if I just walk away and accept my thoughts they will never consume me. I now know that "big penis" porn is, for the most part, angles, lenses and other trade tricks. I now know I am everything I have ever wanted to be, my mind only needed to catch up.


Sunday, September 16, 2007

A Letter to a Friend


In this case a man feels insecure about his size and avoids sex because of his size.

This is my reply:

I understand your pain and I am very compasionate towards your issues. At 4.5 inches erect you are .5-1" short of average but this is really not a problem. But before we get into how to make gains I would like to address the mental issues you are experiencing. Penis Size to a woman is not as important as you think. Yes, a big penis is valuable to a man as men base so much of their confidence on a large member but this is a male issue, not a female one. A woman who basis love on a man's penis size is not a woman at all, she is a pig. If you feel love for this woman and she loves you (as it seems) it may be best to sit down with her and let her know your insecurities, let her know your fears, allow yourself to be vunerable and I garantee you that she will laugh at the fears you have and reassure you that penis size is the last thing of importance to her. I know this does nothing for your size but it will do wonders for your relationship. Imagine for a secong that she had small breasts and she was very insecure about this. Then when it finally came time for you to become intimate and she avoided it. What would you think? Would you assume it was her breasts or would you take it personal? The answer is the latter and I will take this a step further. Lets say she sat down with you, prior to intamacy, and she told you about her insecurities, she told you how she felt less than a woman because of her breast size...what would be your reaction? I(f you tell me that her breast size is more important than the love and intimacy you feel for her than I would tell you that you are shallow and that you do not deserve her.

You know what is strange? Any woman I have ever been with that had a feature that I did not find attractive prior to knowing her, like small breasts (to keep with the topic) after I got to know her and love her not only became something I accepted but it became a turn on. This is what love and sex is all about. Again, this may not be the answer you want but it is the answer that is true. I have written 100's of articles on the subject and this is the reason I have become as famous as I have in penis enlargement. YES, my exercises will make you penis bigger but it is more important to enlarge your mind.

Getting back to penis size, when you say 4.5" erect , is this bone pressed or is this non-bone pressed? (bone pressed means you measure with the ruler against your pubic bone to the tip of your penis) This is a very important question and I would like to know the answer. Are you over weight? Do you have allot of pubic hair? These questions and vital towards your penis size. Please answer them and I will address your penis size.

Now, getting to the physical portion of penis enlargement...
Increasing the size of your penis is easy. It is something that I have helped thousands of men do. I have gained more than 3" in length and close to 2" in girth (this never helped me with woman, ironic huh?) The average gain with my clients is about 1.5" in length and about an inch in girth. This does take work and dedication but it should be done with ABSOLUTELY no obsession. Penis Enlargement should be done with the same attitude that you would use with brushing your teeth. For many guys penis enlargement becomes an obsession, they become completely buried in it and this is just as bad as not doing it at all. Trust me, penis enlargement works and you will make the gains you want to feel good about yourself. If you have money, join my site if you do not have money join my free forum and learn penis enlargement there. What is most important to me is that you feel better about yourself.

I am looking forward to your reply.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Premature Ejaculation and PE

Premature Ejaculation, a psychosexual disorder in which ejaculation occurs soon after intercourse starts, is a issue many men face. What makes this worse is the psychological problems it may cause. You may wonder what penis enlargement has to do with premature ejaculation and I will address this later. I first would like to explore the mental side of this problem.

Premature ejaculation is progressive in psychological nature. With each episode of premature ejaculation a man may become more and more convinced that he will never be able to control it. This can lead to a lack of sexual activity out of embarrassment as the man does not want to have sex with a woman because he feels inadequate. This inadequacy can lead to other problems like avoiding a new relationship, avoiding sex, a man may even find himself avoiding the world completely. Many men will put themselves down due to premature ejaculation and start seeing other positive qualities as not so positive anymore. With premature ejaculation comes many issues.

Treatments for premature ejaculation are numerous and I will briefly go over some of these but I want to mainly concentrate on penis enlargement. One such treatment is something called edging. Edging is when a man will bring him self to the brink of ejaculation and try to stop it from happening using various methods. When a man comes to the point release he should take deep, long breaths in and out. During these breaths counting to 10 helps by getting your mind off ejaculation. Another edging technique, widely used in the penis enlargement circles, is kegels and reverse kegels. When he reaches orgasm he should do kegel squeezes, or reverse kegel pushes (see previous article on Kegels) Both of these methods are very effective but they do take practice and are best done by yourself. Practice daily and intercourse will last as long as you like (or she likes:))

Now, in the case of penis enlargement premature ejaculation can be controlled due to the constant stimulation penis enlargement gives. Before I did penis enlargement my penis was extremely sensitive so when I had intercourse it was difficult for me to stop before the point of no return. It just felt so intense that I could not hold back. Soon after I started penis enlargement my penis became less and less sensitive. Not that I lost any pleasure or intensity of orgasm but my penis did become allot less sensitive. In penis enlargement jelqing, which is very similar to masturbation or intercourse, is done daily for 15 to 60 minutes. This prolonged jelqing trains the penis to be less sensitive. There are many other exercises in penis enlargement that will help, most for experienced PE'ers. WIth some practice, a good jelqing schedule, using breathing techniques and mastering edging will make you a super star. Having control of your orgasm is possible if you put in the time and effort.



Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Bigger is Better...What is Bigger?

When I think of penis enlargement I think about becoming bigger. This is kind of ambiguous because what is big? Should we compare ourselves to huge porn actors, friends, the x's of our girlfriends past, the guys we see at the gym? All of these comparisons do little for finding what "Big" really means. In penis enlargement many of the guys say 8" x 6" is the ideal, "BIG" size. Other guys still buy into the belief that there are 12" cocks walking around everywhere and their goals, in penis enlargement, are very unrealistic.

Before penis enlargement I felt as though my penis was big. I was 6.5" long and had a girth just under 5" but still, I felt huge. Why did I feel so confident about my size? Easy, every woman I have ever been with told me my penis was huge. Some women even said that their ex-boyfriend had a 10" cock but mine was much larger. At the time I accepted the compliment with complete confusion, but today, with all of my penis enlargement knowledge, I realize that these women had no idea about size measurements and I truly had a "BIG" cock.

A large penis is one that goes beyond the average point of 5.5". So a 6" penis, to most women, would seem big. A 7" penis would seem gigantic and finally a 8" penis would BLOW THEIR MINDS. You would have them swearing to their friends that you have 14" of cock. This is where issues arise between man and woman in a relationship. WHo were they with, really, how big were they? Is she being honest? Is she covering up her past to protect our feelings? This is so hard to know. What I do know is women do not care about how big you are as much as you believe.

I really think men project their insecurities on the women they question. We, as men, want to know is ARE WE THE BIGGEST? that is a question that depends on the belief we have in the woman we are with. Sometimes I think men have fantasies about woman and big cocks...I think these men find pleasure in the thoughts of their woman being with a huge cock. Does this turn you one? If you say no you are lying. We have fantasies about our woman but at the same time treating them as though they lived out our fantasy??? Kind of strange.

So, again, what is big? I guess this number depends on the person you are with. A woman who have only been with men who are 5" and below and you have 6", well you are huge to them. If you are with a woman who has been with men who are 7 or 8" and you are 5" that woman you are different. Not small...different.

I am not trying to protect your feelings I am only saying that women do not have the thoughts men have. You make assumptions, you believe these assumptions and you project them on your girl. Does size matter?

Friday, September 07, 2007

Free Penis Enlargement!

Free Penis Enlargement! Something you hear all over the internet. In GOOGLE alone the results for a search under "free penis enlargement" you will find more than 2,500,000 results!

With all of those results you should be able to find a website that truly offers free penis enlargement, right? Well this is simply not so. You may find yourself clicking "free penis enlargement" links for half the day and only come back 10 times more confused. When I think of what type of person seeks out free penis enlargement, I think of someone who is just about to start a PE program.

I know, when I first was searching for what penis enlargement was all about, my first Google search was "free penis enlargement" I am a very good with search engines and within a day I had a pretty good handle on what was penis enlargement, how it worked and a couple of basic penis enlargement exercises (enough to build a basic routine.) This was 7 years ago when searches in search engines actually returned what you were looking for. Today it is impossible. There is so many SPAM sites, SCAM plots and misleading links that will bring you everywhere but where you wanna be...Welcome to the modern internet. There is so much SPAM on penis enlargement that my site, Matters of Size, the largest penis enlargement internet site, a place where there is a FREE penis enlargement forum with more than 100,000 members gets tossed into the same class as the bullshit sites. It is quite frustrating that men who want to learn these methods, men who actually need penis enlargement, may never get it due to the unfair ranking search engines give.

My free forum at is truly just that FREE. As I said earlier, there are more than 100,000 members! Many of these men have created there own personal, penis enlargement routines and post them for all to see, learn and practice. You will find, literally, 100's of penis enlargement exercises posted on the forums...many of these exercises are the one that reside on my members pay site but I still want them to be of public use, money or no money. You will find men who are patient, kind and willing to help the next guy out. The Matters of Size penis enlargement forum is the best place to learn and practice real penis enlargement for free.

I do, indeed, sell memberships and other penis enlargement products...this is how I make my living but I have always been adamant about having a site that was completely free, comprehensive and available to any man with an internet connection.

The biggest differences between the Matters of Size Members Site and the Matters of Size Forums, aside from cost, is the member-site have much more information available through video and illustrations. The forums do not give any video so men who want to actually see the penis enlargement exercises will want to purchase a membership to the pay site. The member-site also offers routines and exercise variation to help maximize your gains and it is pretty much fool proof. I basically walk you through ever part of penis enlargement until you are a pro. and making great penis enlargement gains. The same information is available on the forums but it takes effort to search out your needs as there are thousands of threads to read through. It can be overwhelming and the member-site gives that security and comprehension to calm your anxieties and put you safely on the road to penis enlargement.

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Penis Problems, Can Natural Penis Enlargement Help?

Throughout our sexual life we may run into problems concerning the penis. Problems like impotence, premature ejaculation, peyronies (bent penis), pearly penis palpates, and a host of other issues. Since I have been into penis enlargement I have dealt with many of these issues with my penis enlargement site clientele and myself. Many guys would think that penis enlargement is only about enlarging the penis but this is simply not true. Penis enlargement is a big part of it but penile health and correction is also a massive benefit(s).

One of the first things men notice, when starting penis enlargement, is harder erections. The reason why penis enlargement does this is because of the increased blood from girth exercises. Typically, the first girth exercise men use in penis enlargement is the jelq. This penis enlargement exercise forces blood flow into the penis allowing for "full potential" erections. Men will realize harder erections long before making penis enlargement size gains. After my first few weeks doing penis enlargement I noticed how incredibly hard my penis would get. Ironically, this is the reason I searched out penis enlargement to begin with.

Ejaculation control becomes very evident after the first few weeks of penis enlargement. The reason men see premature ejaculation fade is because of the daily exercises. These exercises over-stimulate the penis allowing the penis to be less prone to premature ejaculate. Penis enlargement, for the serious, involves about 30-60 minutes everyday to be ultimately effective. When you spend this much time handling your penis you begin to gain complete control of it...orgasms included. Penis enlargement offers much more than a larger penis.

Every now and again a new man joins my site that wishes to eliminate a curvature of the penis. It is funny, but shortly after I started penis enlargement I became interested in "creating" a curve in my penis. I was able to create exercises to do this and I created a very nice upward curve. I knew that if I could create a curve, through penis enlargement, then someone could reduce a curve using similar methods. Curvature correction is typical and very easily attained in modern penis enlargement. Using exercises I have developed, or other men who create penis enlargement exercises, will correct or add a curve to your penis.

It is important that guys know that there is much more to penis enlargement than penis enlargement. When you play with you dick long enough you start to figure it out:)


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Monday, September 03, 2007

Honesty in Porn in the Face of Stupidity of Women

Tonight I was watching a new BangBros. flick off their Monsters of Cock site. I love watching porn but I wish, just for once, I could get through it without thinking about PE:) Today was no different.

Whenever I am watching a porn and I see a ruler come out my heart jumps. I see it as an opportunity to confirm my fears or doubts about penis size. Having a ruler come out in a Monsters of Cock scene is even sweater. In this case it was a MOC scene and the dialogue is what caught me off guard. Obviously there was some prologue to this dialogue or the camera man would not be able to reference the actresses past. Once the actors huge cock came out, the actree was blown away. She said she never saw anything like this. The camera man then reminds her of a 12" penis she said she had fucked in her past. He say's, "It was like a foot long (cock) you had last time, wasn't it? She replies, "Haha, yeah." the cameraman sarcastically says, "That's a far cry from 8." SHe returns, "Yeah it is, um, it's time for me to expand my horizons."

The thing that made this conversation so ironic is that the actors cock [i]is[/i] 8 inches" The man behind the camera is a friend of mine. In the past, we had talked extensively on how size exaggeration in porn. We discussed average size. We also talked about the guys who act for him and the sizes he thought them to be. After we spent some time discussing "Is Everything Really What it Seems" He agreed that these exaggeration were silly and completely obvious. He seemed to have learned something. After seeing this porn I realized he not only understood it, but he sarcastically uses it on the stupidity of this actress and a women's constant exaggeration on past lover size.